Sunday, August 27, 2023

 The following is a quote, long I must warn you, that has been a very significant influence on my way os thinking and seeing. It is so long ago I have forgotten when this was first read. I am reading from a new edition which is intended to commemorate the first edition 40 years ago. It is taken from James Finley's book, "Merton's Palace of Nowhere." He as being formed, at one time, under the spiritual guidance of Thomas Merton.

       " Spiritual reading has the potential of becoming itself a prayers kind of event in which a true transformation of consciousness takes place.At times like these the reading takes on a sacramental force that transforms the silence of a room, the winds flower, the ticking of a clock into sudden,subtle and unexpected manifestations of God,silently calling us from the midst of things to "be still and know that I am God." ( Can we add to that the gentle or pounding sounds surf, high mountains, placid lakes, in other words all that The Creative Spirit offers us in creation ? Fr.Joe)

  " In the reader's simple, humble desire for God the words are empowered to unveil a fleeting glimpse of life's most secret meaning.One's own innermost,unspoken insights and desires are suddenly encountered on the printed page.The response is a deepening of those desires and a renewed courage to set out for deeper waters."

     To unpack all that is contained in those couple of paragraphs will take each of us a lifetime. Let us set aside these moments of our given time, to take a closer, deeper look at what has just been afforded us. Please do not get scared,Grandpa Joe is learning a lesson that you have wished on him for many years now, keep it short. This means we are going to have the above word kept before us for, how long ? Read on. We are journeying into the unknown where the Unknown,The Ineffable is encountered. 

        The first important words for us to consider, reflect on, are those which teaches us that spiritual reading, has, "the potential' to be, sacramental, and hence can lead to a" transformation of consciousness "What is the meaning of this word sacramental ? First take note that this word is spelled with a small "s".This is opposed to the reality that when we speak of The Seven Ritual Sacraments we us the capital "S". It took me quite some time to get this sorted out in my own mind. That did not happen suddenly, in a flash of spiritual understanding,rather it took years of studying and reflection. I have always been a slow learner !!!!! This has not changed and I am afraid  now, will never change,so? "keep on keeping on".

          There are  the two understandings of of the word sacrament. For our purpose here, let us look at what sacrament with that small "s "means. Well for me now ; it is each and every person place event action, seen and unseen, that brings us in contact with the deeper realities of life, and ultimately with Reality Itself. That, Reality, we call  God." We have these power-full words of deChardin." By reason of creation, and still more by reason of The Incarnation,there is nothing profane for the person whop knows how to see.' "All of creation is charged with the glory  of God""Hopkins. Enough to chew on ?

Sunday, August 13, 2023

 Sunday August 13th 2023. CONVERSION-METANOIA.

 The answer to so many of the challenges of life lies in our ability to make the journey of metanoia.It is the slow process of changing how we see, view, our reality, and our reality, as we see, in those who share our journey. Conversion is another word to describe that which is essential and unfortunately, unavoidable on our way to a healthy understanding of and embracing of our spiritual journey. A journey we make NOT as" human beings having a human experience, but as spiritual beings immersed in the human condition"(deChardin). 

        Conversion is also seen as "turning around, and start walking in the,opposite direction" Conversion a gradual change in how we see, and act our way into a new way of being. Conversion challenges us to let go of the familiar and journey into the darkness, the uncertainty of the faith journey. I was ordained in 1963 when the changes of The Second Vatican Council began to filter down. Leaving the certainty of the seminary,I was jettisoned into a new country, and, an evolving new church. (This evolution has not stopped despite the best efforts of those who have been called to lead.This is a sadness I have to deal with in my own personal journey. Now,however,  I can now honestly share that, "I'm thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn't have stumbled across my strengths".Thank you Gracious Spirit for the gifts of Pope Francis and Bishop John.) 

   It is the same Catholic Faith but oh so different  in how we believe,belong to and are active in.We are challenged to journey ever deeper into having  "to walk by faith not by sight", I cannot become Whom I am called to be by remaining, who I am. St.Theresa of Avila,warns us that we have to blasted out of our that to which we have become accustomed to and familiar with. Change does not come easily.It demands hard work."The spiritual life is not for the faint of heart"it forces us to be, become  warriors. We do not become transformed under our own power, but this transformation occurs under the tender guidance of The Gracious Creative Spirit. We are challenged by metanoia  to move beyond the ramparts of ego in order to be lead into "new Heavens and new earths". Yes the old world is passing away and in its place is a new creation  is revealed where justice, love, and peace, reigns supreme. This will happen when I stop trying to think my way of acting, it will only happen when act my way into a new way of thinking.

    Then we can honestly say, a new song has been placed in my mouth,Psalm 40. Let us take the advise of Dial Diamond, and"sing it loud, sing it strong".You have a new song of Hope  to sing force-fully and joy-fully in each moment of your living.Do to let anyone or anybody silence that prophetic cry so desperately needed, in these  ever anxious and darkening times. Everything we need for a healthy cosmos and life lies in our depths. Set it free and slowly bring about that new creation which we wait for so impatiently.So, do not be discouraged, Have faith in The One Who has called you into being, from the existence of time." I believe help my disbelief/unbelief". May The Spirit of Truth guide you into all truth, and provide the courage necessary to be "The Contemporary Christ." Love prayers and blessings.Great Grandpa Joe. 

   



Tuesday, August 8, 2023

The Feast of The Transfiguration 2023.    

Looking back, I am want to do these days, there were just two Sundays where the homily was going to be short. (Snide comments are more than welcome !!!) One was The of The Most Holy Trinity and the other was todays feast. over time, after a great deal of reading,they got longer.from all my reading I always come back to the quote from a letter Thomas Merton wrote to Henri Noun.

       At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and illusions point of pure faiths point or mark which belongs entirely to God.... this  little.... point is the pure glory of God it is like a pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of Heaven.it is in everybody"

    Wow !!! how challenging are those four last words: " it is in EVERYBODY'. You,me,that relative you cannot be around, that homeless person we avoid, the slow grocery clerk, the illegals that are so demonized but can work wonders with our front and back yards. I challenge you to those are judged so very harshly in our society, because they not conformant will not be boxed in.This list can be endless. We  gradually become aware of those who carry who are on our list, of  the non qualified.It will grow within us, in direct proportion to how narrow-minded and self-centered we are, and are becoming. What is the answer ? Conversion. Love prayers and blessings to you all who journey into your awe-full-ness. Great grand Joe. 

Sunday, July 30, 2023

 What am I going to write about in this effort ? I honestly do not know.There are some ideas rattling around in my head awaiting expression.Just because they are there does not mean they will ever see the light of day.I have often had some ideas for a homily all worked out, ready to go. Did they  ever weave their way into the homily,NO. Now looking back, I knew as much as you knew, about what was going to be said.I can hear you saying, yes,great grandpa Joe,  that is what we were exposed to and what challenged to make sense of. I really did, and do believe in the power of the Holy Spirit,so why not put that Power to work ? The Spirit thrives on chaos, and screwed-up-ness. The spiritual journey is to, gradually grow in  the ability to surrender, to entrust, our messiness,our powerlessness to the workings of Infinite Creative Love,Who is our hidden strength.  Then there is an awakening. We  are gently lead the awareness, we are on the way to discover the "treasured" hidden in the darkness of our,earthiness. We always need the Gentle Light to light our way into the darkness of the unknown, and Unknowable.

 There are three words which stand out, that is to my way unique way of seeing, in the Responsorial Psalm. They are kindness, compassion and wonder. Many years ago my great friend Fr.Tot,gave me this piece of advice,"Joe,be gentle with yourself. This came at a crucial time in my journey into the real realities of my troubled life.Was I successful ? all I can share is this reality is ,like all reality's work in progress. For this journeys  "the pearl of great price' is offered to us, and that is compassion. We are all on the road that will lead to us being wounded ,and broken. We will all need "that stranger" who will pour the oil of compassion to soothe the great pain.A pain that at the time seems overwhelming.  In each "one moment, one step at a time" we will exit the "dark valley",and be lead to the mount of Transfigurement. Our true dignity, our essential goodness, is now blossoming in a harvest beyond our imagination, or understanding. That is why the third word,  WONDER.Wonder,fits in so neatly into this conversation. Wonder,awe,leads us to pray. Now that we are coming to believe in our essential goodness we are free to communicate from that place of honesty which up to now had eluded us. The journey from"illusion to prayer"(Nouwen) is one of the three steps essential to a healthy spirituality. The other two steps, 'We journey from , loneliness  into solitude, hostility to hospitality" I am certain these steps will be encountered again and again. 

          The you are not likely to be a victim of "gaslighting. Neither will you be the victim of 'shadow throwing". Deepening your belief in you essential goodness is a work in progress. We are guided along the path of unknowing into that place where the "new and the old" are meshed together into a, oneness." The reality of The Kingdom is now slowly emerging.This gift is NOT for ourselves,  not for our own ego  boosting,but, is to be shared as a gift. Sharing from our place of radical honesty is the " hidden treasure'  we have been entrusted with.

                    Now what is the heading, you HONESTLY feel, would best express your honest  thought(s). 

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Sunday, July 23, 2023

The hidden qualities of ,the OIL of mercy.

 Im am so excited to be back and again connected with you.I love your comments.Keeps me going !!! Some people really read what is written so very attentively. It was brought to my attention that I started the last blog as grandpa and ended as great grandpa ???? You see that was how much effort went into the blog.The effort made an older man of me.I am now looked on as SENIOR SENIOR citizen. I am in deep gratitude that anybody is reading these efforts.My gratitude list is getting longer each day. Remember that old song "Let the good times roll"? Would love to have it as background music for this effort.

    Bask in the mid '60s there was a book written by Eugene Kennedy, "Comfort My people".  That has a serious effect on my approach to ministry.I have not, you all  too well know, always been successful.My sincerest apologies to who have suffered from my woundedness. There has been some gradual healing over the many years.There is still a way to go. Patience patience !!!! Screw patience, I want recovery right now.Then on the other hand, anything that is instant is usually no good. Have you ever eaten, instant mash potatoes.Whoever invented them was definitely not an Irishman.

WOW !! it has sure taken Great grandpa Joe, a long  time to get to what he wants to address this evening. Some saying fastidiously,just like his sermons. It has been a few years now since I listened to Fr.Rohr reflect on this gospel.His reflection changed my perspective on the spiritual.An understanding I have made a conscious effort to pass on to those who have been placed in my path. I am not going to quote the whole gospel hermit is sufficient for this effort to just use those very strange words "let them grow together until harvest time'. 

The them are darnel and wheat. When they break out of the ground ,the young darnel and wheat look somewhat similar.So when the servants indicated they wanted to unroot the darnel, the master was not in agreement.The wise man offered the advice let them grow together until harvest time. Harvest  time is toward the end of the year, Autumn. That is a long time to wait. How impatient those servants  must have become.Who likes to wait on nature. Ask any expectant mother how she feels toward the end of her pregnancy.? Do not expect a very polite answer.Especially after a sleepless night. Duck !!!!We reap our harvest at the of our lives.In the Autumn of our lives and looking carefully at the harvest we are reaping.Around 35 things begin to change.Our spiritual perspective slowly changes.We are faced with the limitations of our wounded humanity.We are not the best at anything.Not the best husband wife son daughter employer or employee.We come up short all the way around. What is now needed compassionate understanding and mercy-full love.

I have written on my new understanding of mercy. The kind of mercy Pope Francis is so anxious for us to embrace and apply to our wounds.Wounds the appear to bleed all the time.The healing has not happened.do you remember the parable of the Good Samaritan? How he poured oil into the wounds of his sworn enemy, the Jew.Now think back to the chanting of The Lord Have Mercy, the Kyrie Eleison. The Greek word for oil is to be found in Eleison. So we are actually praying that the oil of mercy may be poured down on us. What does oil dot it, heals,sooths,comforts,strengthens,and because it is, Gods Love in action, it transfigures and transforms us. The Prodigal's Father's Mercy then is so so much more that just about the forgiveness of our transgressions. ( This is long enough, so I will have mercy on you all.)

         So may the blessings of mercy-full  be yours, as you face the challenge of being not "a human being having a spiritual experience, but a spiritual being, immersed, in the human condition".Word written be deChardin many many moons ago. Our collective human reality is sure taking a hammering, and where are the proactive efforts to advert, the sixth annihilation? Great great great grandpa Joe.

Thursday, July 20, 2023

A new post I hope !!!!

This is the beginning of a new adventure. I have not been able to get a blog posted for some time,so here goes the effort of a now 83 year old Grandpa Joe.This Grandpa has recently his Diamond Jubilee of Ordination. June 8th.1963 30 of strong your Irish lads,plus on Scot were laid hands on by the Bishop Keogh. Thank God 17 are still alive and kicking.Not too gingerly, but ,kicking. Health concerns prevented me from returning to  St.Patrick's College in Carlow City for the reunion.There was however an awe-full,wondrous  celebration that was hosted by the pastoral staff of St.Andrew The Apostle, in Chandler Az.I was so honored to be it's founding pastor in June of 1986. It was so great to see some of those founding members at the Jubilee celebration.Definitely a night to remember. Gracias a Dios,agus,go raibh maith agat. A little Gaelic still left.

  Well what have I been up to since my last posting ,and, what am I up to now ? I can share only what is allowed me within the bounds of decency. Well I am a little more retired. My get up and go, has got up and gone, for starters.Before this,visit from hell,I was able to walk and hike just a little. I have had three epidurals, and sad to say no baby. I do however get to move around and get some of my chores done. Very light on the, housekeeping. Years ago I used to say, to the chagrin of many, "A clean house is the sign of a sick mind".Some did not return the following week-end !!!! My great friend Fr.Tot O'Dea,R.I.P. used to remind me "clean the pond Joe and the lilies die". What a compassionate presence he was in my life. We had some great chats over breakfast/lunch.They kept me kinda sane, for the  years following The Second Vatican Council. We sure miss his down to earth understanding of healthy spirituality and pastoral practice. Our new Bishop John Dolan ,could surely use his droll insights. Tot how I miss you. You always kept me grounded in the reality of the present moment. Reality, in its acceptance leads to a healthy spirituality. That act of accepting demand a great deal of time and effort.A healthy spirituality come at a steep price. We are to face  our immersion in the moment to moment  battlefield of the soul.The ongoing struggle to the death, between the true self and the false self. On the outcome of that struggle rests so much. We will journey into what means for us in whatever time my weakened body will allow. Your prayers will be deeply appreciated. For now,slainte,and have a good sleep. Great grandpa Joe.


Tuesday, June 8, 2021

Thoughts on Playing the Back Nine...Part 5

 

The Triduum Celebration being restored brought a new awareness to the meaning of The Paschal Mystery and how we are to approach it’s celebration.  It has taken me a long, long time to make the personal connection between what was celebrated in The Triduum and my everyday life.  This process of connecting the two began when we had the Friday stations of the cross in Seaton Catholic chapel. (Seaton Catholic High School was such a blessing to the community of St. Andrew The Apostle in those early days.)  I came across a Stations of The Cross booklet that lead to the beginning of a more personal understanding, a deepening connection between what was and what is.  There is no time and space in the spiritual realm, the spiritual reality.  I read “if you want to know your future read the Gospels.”  There is my life’s journey laid out in black and white.  What was more exciting was when I read that every person of the Gospels is to be found within myself.  Now, that was something it took me a long time to wrap my mind around and make the essential connection.  I cannot describe what this insight has brought to me.  But then, why am I surprised? Is not this all about mystery, and mystery is never completely understood.  Each time we are lead into mystery we come out with a newer and a more vital understanding than what we had.  Each journey into mystery is ever new and always unique.

Sunday, June 6, 2021

Thoughts on Playing the Back Nine...Part 4

 

We are born as the result of an unique action of The Creative Spirit.  Think about that for a while.  Before you were given life you were an unique thought in the imagination of The Gracious Creative Spirit, The Holy Spirit.  Each person begins as a loving thought in the mind-womb of The Creator.  Having fallen in love with that reality The Holy Spirit then weaves that into the master plan for go all of creation.  Hence, we find life, and our first love. So we come to be incarnated as the expression of that unique thought in the mind of The Creator.  Wow!!! It has been a real long winding trail that has led to my present way of thinking.  

The thought revolution began, where else, but in the 60’s and the explosion that was triggered by the Second Vatican Council.  We are still struggling to come to terms with where The Holy Spirit wishes to lead us. Let’s be blunt there was a war waged before the Council began, and it continues to the present day, with no end in sight.  Pope Francis has reignited the flame of Vatican 11 and some are standing by with their fire extinguishers hoping to put out the fire.  They may succeed for a time but one cannot oppose the workings of The Spirit forever. (Pope John the 23rd shared in the opening of the Council in which many of his staff opposed what he had intended to do.  Those opposition forces are still wanting to build a wall to keep the tide at bay.  It will be a continuous struggle.  We must be informed, determined participants in that struggle.  Changes challenges us to let go of the familiar and journey into the unfamiliar.  Hence, we are to embrace that “Faith is a journey into uncertainty, NOT certainty.  How I have wished that was not so.  Wishing does not change reality.  I have been in the process of accepting this over these many years, decades. The Second Vatican challenged the core of clericalism.  Pope Francis has made clericalism one of the challenges facing our church today.  Has he not encouraged the shepherds to go out and get the smell of the sheep on them !!! The heroic Fr. Albert Braun O.F.M. who survived The Bataan death march proposed that all the rectories be blown up and the priests be forced to live among the people.  He was a revered presence in the diocese when I came to Arizona in 1963.

Friday, June 4, 2021

Thoughts on Playing the Back Nine...Part 3

 

We sure have had real tough times to journey through.  Some of our sisters and brothers did not make it.  So there is a great void in our families and familial life. There is that old saying “Whatever does not kill you makes you stronger.”  It is rather trite when one is hanging on by ones fingernails.  I (we) must have something more to help boost our self-confidence, and strengthen our resolve.  This is where the trudging of the spiritual trail reveals a hidden strength that was up to now, hidden. Is not there a great feeling after having survived a storm or in some cases a typhoon, we are somehow lead to rest in  the comfort of the coming of the guaranteed, eventual peace and calm.


Again this is so relatively easy to write about, in hindsight, but when the wind is howling and our foundations are threatened, our thoughts are about the coming peace, but how to survive the obvious threat.  In my 81+ years I have been, like every old person, been challenged to meet this challenge which is part of life.  What has helped me reach these so-called “Golden Years,” has been an ever deeper understanding of The Easter and beyond narrative.  I was reading a John O’Shea book and came across these life changing words, ”Jesus’s story IS our story today.  ”Yes I was challenged not just to read, but to accept that reality.  The story I am writing today by my moment to moment actions is the continuation of the Gospel narrative.  We are the living, breathing, incarnated “contemporary” Christ for the contemporary world we are both chosen and called to live in. We have been chosen from all of eternity to be who we exactly are at this moment.

Wednesday, June 2, 2021

Thoughts on Playing the Back Nine...Part 2

 

To begin with, my Summer journeys into the Western States, away from the Arizona crucible, were not always ideal or idyllic.  There was always those first number of weeks where I was in deep struggles with myself. I was lucky enough to have read, and reread, Fr.Rohr’s book, “Everything Belongs.” In it he writes that when we enter into solitude we will be challenged to face our issues with addiction, negativity, fear, and control.  I was able to somewhat relax and enjoy the daily experience of solitude, and ever evolving creation.  Looking back I have often shared that because of my personal struggles, ”If I was married to me I would have come home divorced.” People laughed at that.  I was not amused by their laughter.  I was sharing what was a real tough transformational experience which was no laughing matter.  It was only through the gracious and compassion laden power of Grace I was challenged to “grow up.”  A man in his 50’s and 60’s does not like to be told to grow up and embrace the radical workings of grace.  Workings that are mysterious, and a “wonder to behold”, but never really understood.  This is the opening salvo.  Where it will lead to I do not have a clue.  Like all great hikes, and journeys they happen one step at a time, moment at a time.  Prayers are needed, please. So this will happen one letter at a time. 

Monday, May 31, 2021

A New Series...Thoughts on Playing the Back Nine...Part 1

 

“The desert is a book of many pages, and just when you believe you know all there is to know, it will surprise you with the unexpected.”  So wrote Louis L’Amore in his great book “The Lonesome Gods.  As a book I have read and reread, I never saw these word before or, if I saw them, (I actually had to) they did not register as they did last night.  They spoke to me and got me thinking.  I have been turning pages in this Arizona desert for close to 58 years, so what has the daily page turning revealed to me for my necessary education?  An education that is essential not only for survival, but for education, and formation as well.  So what has this desert journey taught me, and continues to teach me as I make my trek through this is awe-full, wonder-full, mysterious part of The Gracious Creators ever evolving creation? I cannot really verbalize it, but maybe in the reflective writing about this deserted journey some thoughts may bubble up from the depths where they have been hiding.


I have had to learn that in writing thoughts that otherwise would not come to consciousness are there before you in black and white.  I am surprised by the many, many thoughts that are brought to mind by writing.  I have to stop and ask myself the question where did that come from? I did not know I knew that reality, or that this had become a part of my thought process.  Yet, here it is right before me.  It is through more writing that there is an expansion of thought, and an elucidation of mind.  This in turn led me to many, many hikes in the Arizona desert, and endless journeys through many of the Western States.  This present attempt must have been triggered by my editing of thousands of photographs which are archived in my computer.  As I worked on each one I was reminded of the geographical location and what was going on in my moment to moment, existential reality at the time.


Thursday, October 8, 2020

Let us never grow weary in the asking, part 3

As we are so limited in our human-ness we're always in the need of understanding, compassion, forgiveness, and reconciliation.  We have to remind ourselves of the depth of the compassion of our Compassionate Creator.  The Psalmist dares to be so brave as to remind The Creator of The Creators compassion and love which he says The Divine has from  "of old."  The compassion and love are from of old,  but there is never any weariness in their application to our wounded-ness,  and brokenness. Pope Francis reminds us of "the willingness of The Divine to offer forgiveness again and again."  The Divine never wearies,  it is us who grow weary.  Our journey asks of us to persevere in our asking, and never grow weary.  For this to be a reality un our lives we need Grace. and loads of it.  The Loving Creator always makes room for us.  We are not puppets at the end of a string, being pulled here and there with no control on our part.  We have been endowed with the freedom to choose life or death in each and every moment.

 

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Let us never grow weary in the asking, part 2

 

We are never alone on this journey.  This is 2020 and we are getting fed up of that word quarantine.  It has been with us for so long, and it will be our challenge for some time to come.  The death toll is horrendous, and getting worse.  Over 205,000 have died, and the future offers no consolation as so many will not respect the wisdom of the scientists.  It is our obligation in justice and charity to obey and observe, suggested protocols.  We must take seriously that number of 370,000 plus by January 1st, 2021 !!! The scientists reveal one side of the truth necessary for a healthy journey, and then we have spiritual guidance to make our daily hike a journey into wholeness, into holiness. Quarantine makes one go deeper in order to endure the challenge of aloneness and solitude.  Is it not amazing that what we do not want,  The Creative Loving Spirit uses as the place where we encounter the compassionate Power which always leads to gifts never imagined.  Life is sure a mystery,  always attracting us.  That attraction is innate.

Sunday, October 4, 2020

Let us never grow weary in the asking

We all have an unique womb as our place of origin in this life, but we all have had eternal existence in that same Womb of Love from all of eternity.  A Loving Womb which is also our place of destiny.  In the in-between time we make our journey on this spaceship we call earth.  This is a mysterious journey that demands a great deal of trust.  Remember that old commercial that told us, "Love is a given, trust is earned." Our journey we call life is a journey into an ever deepening understanding of love, and an ever deepening journey into trust.  Merton's great prayer, "My lord God I have no idea where I am going.  I do not see the road ahead of me, nor do I really know myself..." must be our prayer as well.  To add to that prayer we have those wonderful words from Psalm 25: "Your ways O Lord make known to me, teach me your paths, guide me in Your truth, and teach me."  There is so much depth to those words it takes a life time of meditation, and reflection to reach the understanding that will ease the burden of being a spiritual being immersed in the human condition." (deChardin).  We are in a continuous need of the help that is essential for our in-depth appreciation of the gift of who we are and Who it is that journeys "in us and through us and with us."  We must constantly ask for the grace to grow in the wisdom, not the knowledge, that is essential for a happy journey in this "vale of tears."

 

Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Desire is enough, part 3

The Creative Divine Spirit is a master crafts-man, Who cannot be rushed. How I wish it was otherwise. I have shrunk an inch and a half in my body, but in other ways there has been ever slow, and pain-full growth. A growth that always leads to to "new freedom and a new happiness." We must concentrate on Easter Sunday, and the Resurrection, rather than on Good Friday, and the crucifixion. Both along with the experience of the tomb, always leads to new awareness and growth. That quiet invitation to pass beyond the safe and secure self (the false self) into the unknown self (the real self) is very threatening to the ego. The first introduction I received into this endless search was at a Neil Diamond concert way, way back in San Diego. I heard these great as not understood words, "and Jonathan began the longest journey of all, the journey into self."  To help with this mysterious journey I bought James Finley’s "Merton’s Palace of nowhere." Did I understand everything I read, I remember being very frustrated in not being able to really connect with what I read. That has come much later as an understanding of the true self and the false self slowly deepened.  (I notice I have been using the word "slow and slowly" a great deal).  We journey along the spiritual path at a snail's pace. The Creative Divine cannot be rushed. All we can do is "be alert because we do not know the day nor the hour" when the awareness brakes through.  So we have to "be alert."