Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Acceptance is a process

In the Gospel it was not until, at the direction of Jesus, that the apostles fished in deeper waters that their work was rewarded. So ask for the grace to accept that which for right now looks unacceptable or unattainable, the courage to go deeper and meet the Unknown in your unknown. Then HANG On. You will go places you never dreamed of. Each one of us makes a unique journey so I cannot tell you what the future holds for you.  This I can tell you if you were to plan it you would sell yourself so short. Yes our Gracious God is the God of surprises.  A gracious God with a real sense of humour, and loves to play tricks. So look for your daily surprises and life will become what you never thought life could possibly be.  Your life’s joy is to be found not in what you possess but in The Who that possess you and in Whose Reality you  "live and move and have your being" ever and always. To make it even better "nothing can come between you" and the ineffable Loving Power in your depths. Another reason to go deeper and deeper?

I had to face this difficult and very discouraging reality. I have to meet the challenge of PTSD in my daily living. There are a lot of innate difficulties I have to face.  One of these is this as the result of traumatic events in my life the ever so slow journey into honesty is normal and had/has to be accepted as such.  One fact that really helped in this journey into acceptance was I DID NOT have to like what happened to me I had to accept it.  This acceptance was the workings of a Gracious Mercy-full Compassionate Higher Power.  So then I repeat, liking has nothing to do with acceptance.  My adventurous journey into honesty with my Gracious Father-god has resulted in understandings and insights into the non-transformed human condition that could not be mine unless I received a new set of lenses. Then these are Not a once and forever lens they have to be constantly tweaked so my sight can be more aligned with how My Creator needs me to see.  This is the seeing that is necessary for me to live an authentic human being.  Remember the words of the shaman in "Dancing With Wolves." The only trail worth taking is the trail of a real human being" may that be the trail you will always follow.

Sunday, January 26, 2020

The "must" of the deep, part 2

Honest reflection has led me to discover over that over the years that my journey into honesty in conversation with my Higher Power has been a slow process. My process into honesty with hand-in- hand with an ever developing trust. I was loved into that trust. With the deepening of trust came the deepening of faith. With an ever deepening faith that word "must" resonated with a deeper and a more freeing meaning. It is like, if I want to enjoy that Envy apple I must take a bite and chew on it.  That word "must’ is now like the bite that is necessary to enjoy what the apple has to offer.  I do not get that from just looking at the apple, I have to bite into the apple. I so, too have to take a bite of the apple of reality so as to enjoy the transforming power that allows me to become a more authentic presence of the living Christ-God. This is after all why I have been chosen ,to be blessed, broken and given.  That word "must" is not as fear-full as it was.  This means that the required inner deepening journey is now more easily embraced.  That does not mean there is now no serious struggling going on. When you have neuropathy on top of fibromyalgia there are many, many middle of the night, and early dawn conversations.  Our Gethsemane and Calvary encounters do not get any easier as one gets older.  On the other hand Easter Joy and The resurrected freedom do not get dimmer, they increase exponentially in their intensity.  Spiritual maturity does not comes with the years.  Spiritual awareness can only come as the result of saying a struggling "yes" to the invitation to go, deeper. "I believe Lord, help my disbelief."

Friday, January 24, 2020

The "must" of the deep

"A life not reflected on has no meaning" so wrote Aristotle many many moons ago.  As it was true then so it is true for us today. Our lives cry out for meaning.  The great questions bubble up from our depths, "Who am I?"  "Does my life have any meaning?" "Is this all there is?" and the questions keep coming. I can share with you this challenging fact "The further the outward journey takes you, the deeper the inner journey must be. "This is an awe-full, wonder-full quote from Henri Nouwen.  I do not like that word "must."  Most times when I hear that word "must" the rebel Irish in me quickly surfaces. I will look for a way out. Usually "an easier softer way" will be my way to go.  This has led to many bad choices. I can now see they were my best decisions at that time but not, the best.  With this understanding, through grace, self-forgiveness has been gifted and slowly accepted.  I thoroughly agree with Fr.Rohr, reconciliation with who we really are is a process under the guidance of grace.

Over the years try as I may, and I sure have taken some real unhealthy detours, in the avoidance of the necessity of deeper "must."  I have not found an alternative to this "must" that was spiritually healthy. Because of the mercy-full, tender, transforming love of our Gracious Creator-Father these detours have been woven into my present reality. It is so true that our God makes all things work together for good. As the result of grace I can now honestly say this that my life will not be complete unless all the events of my past, the good and the bad, the healthy and unhealthy, the constructive and destructive, the joy-full and the sorrow-full are all owned transfigured and transformed.  I own my reality, as joy-full, and sorrow-full as it may be, by bringing it to honest prayer.

Saturday, January 18, 2020

Be like a page that aches for a word

The Prophet Jesus' own immediate FAMILY WENT SO FAR AS TO QUESTION HIS SANITY while others questioned, His SANCTITY. Conversion into the reality of Who He really had to happen.  As it was for them so it is for all of us. There are no exceptions. The spiritual life, while it bestows so much unfortunately does not provide bypasses. (U-turns yes, bypasses NO)  Jesus' own family and follower had to go through a conversion process. A conversion process that was long and difficult, just as it is like yours and mine. Their conversion story is our story as well. Each person's step by step daily living writes a contemporary Gospel. I pray that all will respond to the ever so gentle promptings of The Gracious Creator through the workings of The Creator Spirit and write a gospel of real Good news.  Our Gospel origin is the Wisdom and free will of our Originator. That is where the timelessness of who we are is gifted to us. This timelessness lies hidden deep within our depths. This experience of timelessness is awakened by the dynamic power of fruit-full love. A healthy family's life-giving fruit-full love brings to our consciousness an ever evolving awareness of that Awe-full mystery-laden Reality. Is this revelation a very complicated process? Of course not.  It has only been made to appear complicated, a tip of the hat here to egocentricity, The Mysterious Timeless One is revealed both to ourselves and all others in our oh so simple reality, we call our "Daily moment to moment living."

So then, "be like a page that aches for a word that speaks on a time that is timeless." (Neil Diamond). What a vocation we are called both chosen and called to commit to. We are all blank pages chosen from eternity to be the place of prophecy for the revelation of The Eternal.  Each and every participant in creation has been so chosen. With this gift of chosenness comes the unique gifts that are the necessary prerequisites so we can both encounter and full-fill from which we are destined. The" fly in the ointment," or "that which upsets the apple cart" is also a gift.  This unique gift defines us as authentic human beings, it is called simple free will.  Just two words which can be enunciated, spoken so casually yet contain the dynamic power to change everything.  What love had to be present when The Gracious Creator decided to gift us with free will, as one of the preternatural blessings.

Thursday, January 16, 2020

Conversion has to become a curse so as to…..

Our conversion demands of us to let go of all previous lightening systems. As that happens, from the pythian darkness a gentle flickering light breaking through. That flickering light, which can only be seen and followed in darkness, will be all that we in need. Such as it was, so it is for you and I today.  This is not what our egotistical egos ,and false selves want, and crave. The Good Shepherd does meet our needs, but will not feed our greed. How often have I wished for God Who was more codependent. The recognition and the acceptance of a God of Healthy Wholeness is an essential step on the way to holiness. All of other creations are false gods. Their essential spiritual emptiness never provides the human spirit with anything that is lasting. We have and do worship at the altars of theses false gods but all that happens is the opposite of what we were hoping, craving. There was no "filling up," there was only an endless emptying out. This eternal emptying out continues right up to the time we are prepared for the finality of the last emptying out, the last surrender, death.  "Every curse is a blessing, every blessing is a curse" right? The process of being emptying out always leaves a void. A void that only The Original Lover can fill up, and make whole again. In death we say good bye to the limitations of time and space so as to enter the fullness of The Eternal life which was our origin.  Everything is a circle right.  You are caught up in this circle, not knowing when or exactly where the beginning was and where it ends. We are all caught in this circle, and nobody is outside this infinite circle of life.  We are all equals.  Despite what our egocentric would wish we are all "tarred with the same brush," created and loved uniquely. We all then share a common loving origin, which place of origin is our place of destiny!!! What an awe-full, wonder-full, exquisite mystery this speck on the continuum of time is. W…O…W!!!