Once I was exposed to the damage "the toxic trinity" can wreak, it drastically changed my approach to the Sacrament Of reconciliation. As I have mentioned before I was lucky to have for four years, the late Bishop "The Doc" Paddy Lennon. He was one of the best in Europe. We came away from St. Patrick's with a deep groundedness in the approach to the imputability of human actions. A human act is a knowing mind and a consenting will. Not every action of us humans is an human act. For an human act to be matter for reconciliation one has to have a knowing mind and a consenting will. One must knowledge and the freedom to consent. (I am not going to deal with all of which that entails. It has taken me 57 years on top of the 4 previously mentioned in a blog) To be really honest I now spend more time in explaining appropriate guilt to penitents who are confessing that which is not sin, that actually welcoming the "good sinners" back to their Prodigal father's transfiguring and transforming mercy-full love.