The "must" of the deep

"A life not reflected on has no meaning" so wrote Aristotle many many moons ago.  As it was true then so it is true for us today. Our lives cry out for meaning.  The great questions bubble up from our depths, "Who am I?"  "Does my life have any meaning?" "Is this all there is?" and the questions keep coming. I can share with you this challenging fact "The further the outward journey takes you, the deeper the inner journey must be. "This is an awe-full, wonder-full quote from Henri Nouwen.  I do not like that word "must."  Most times when I hear that word "must" the rebel Irish in me quickly surfaces. I will look for a way out. Usually "an easier softer way" will be my way to go.  This has led to many bad choices. I can now see they were my best decisions at that time but not, the best.  With this understanding, through grace, self-forgiveness has been gifted and slowly accepted.  I thoroughly agree with Fr.Rohr, reconciliation with who we really are is a process under the guidance of grace.

Over the years try as I may, and I sure have taken some real unhealthy detours, in the avoidance of the necessity of deeper "must."  I have not found an alternative to this "must" that was spiritually healthy. Because of the mercy-full, tender, transforming love of our Gracious Creator-Father these detours have been woven into my present reality. It is so true that our God makes all things work together for good. As the result of grace I can now honestly say this that my life will not be complete unless all the events of my past, the good and the bad, the healthy and unhealthy, the constructive and destructive, the joy-full and the sorrow-full are all owned transfigured and transformed.  I own my reality, as joy-full, and sorrow-full as it may be, by bringing it to honest prayer.