Paradox, the birthing stretch Part 2

That is one thing that is getting through this hard head of mine, so many of the great spiritual truths appear to be paradoxical. "It is only when I am weak, it is then that I am strong"  (Have not got the hang of that one yet. Work in progress ?)  "Faith is a journey into uncertainty, not certainty." "It is only in dying that I am born to eternal life."  We have to lose to win."  "In every success is sown the seeds of failure.  In every failure is sown the seeds of success" etc. etc. etc. etc.  I am sure you have at least one paradox with which you are struggling to make sense.  That is G R E A T. ( teed ?)  Embrace the journey into uncertainty which is the paradoxical journey.  Sad to say that in the beginning there is no great comfort in the journey, but then giving birth is not a walk in the park.  The embrace of our paradoxes contains the stretching necessary for the healthy birthing of who we really are.  Not who we would like to be, supposed to be, or expected to be.  Birthing is about the birthing of our true self and risking the reaction of fear and anger of the false self.  As we all know, or coming to understand, this conflict results in living a messy life. That is the mortal combat we are all faced with as we live each day, one now-moment at a time.  Be rest assured we are safe within, the truth of each moment.  It is "when we rest in truth we rest in God."

Paradox, the birthing stretch

On the spiritual journey there is nothing but change.  Changes we have no control over.  Ours is a journey into surrender.  A gradual surrender to the all-encompassing, all-embracing, loving hug of God. Since is The Great Lover, She/He does not in any way force us to respond by surrendering.  I remember reading this quote of St. Augustine.  I remember when I read it.  It is as clear today, as it was that evening in the Junior Chapel in St. Patrick’s 64 years ago.  This was the quote that got my attention, "Late have I known Thee, late have I loved thee."  Being in my first month in the seminary, and knowing so very little, I remember saying to myself, that is not going to happen to me. I am going to know God.  That is why I am here. I have six years ahead of me to learn all there is to know about God.  I knew I loved God because of all the religious practices which were part and parcel of my every day life.  Very regular attendance at mass.  Confession every week, of mostly made up sins.  The nightly family rosary, and The Stations of the Cross were an essential part of my religious training and practice in the Ireland of my youth.  Does not all this prove that I love God?

Oh! Boy, that must have triggered a very gracious gentle smile from God, I can now imagine saying to the Holy Spirit "Don't We have a lot to teach this kid."  So the training in God’s ways rather than Joe’s way began.  What a great long, crooked, and rocky road that has been.  How I ever got to be where I am today is truly the mysterious action of grace.  The end is coming but I do not know when.  That is not my business that is my loving Prodigal Father’s business.  Building trust in that love has not been easy.  There is this paradox I have a daily struggle with, the more I fail in my loving attempts, the closer God seems to have become.  His mercy-full love is revealed more and more through my weaknesses not as I expected, through my strengths.

Write like you're dying!!! Part 3

Years ago I read this ever so challenging quote, ”write like you are dying.”  I have kept this before me over the years as I journeyed with fellow travelers, preached, and wrote.  We must tell the truth, when it is ”convenient and inconvenient.” The real healthy truth really hurts.  Denial of the reality can last for so long.  If we are going to have a life worth living it is essential we face the reality that the truth challenges us to change.  Many, many times I would have much preferred to continue to live the lie, rather than face my real healthy truth.  Change is pain-full, but the result is “a new freedom and a new happiness.”  Today there is this common belief, that if we all believe the same lie then it must be the truth. Think about how scary that is for ourselves, and for all the generations to follow.  A lie is a lie.

Life is terminal.  Not one of us is going to get out of this life alive.  We have to face our terminal finiteness.   We have to embrace each moment as if it were our last moment. So then, what is the life giving truth(s) I want to convey by my present, every day actions?  What is The Gospel truth, theme, I wish to model in the gospel I am writing today by my moment to moment actions?  What are some the difficult and essential truths about the spiritual journey that must be faced and embraced by each one of us “spiritual beings immersed in the human condition?”  ( To be continued).

Write like you're dying!!! part 2

I see now, ever more clearly that as St. Paul says a priest is  "a man taken from among men” to be in the service of The Holy Alone.  A man who has failed and does fall and over and over, up to this present moment.  I take great comfort in the words of Carl Stuhmiller  “It is ONLY through our weakness and our brokenness CAN we have an audience with a God of mercy and compassion.”  Surrendering unconditionally to that awe-full Love has been a long pain-full process. WE  Irish do not surrender without an fierce struggle.  It is such a blessing and a curse to be Irish.

Dad has long passed to play on the lush fairways in the skies, all the while I am still making my way down the or have I arrived at the green and am putting out.  I hope that is a putt that I get a number of Mulligans.  What is left for me now is to use whatever time I am given to keep on doing what I am doing and do it more honestly.  This challenge that has to be met and responded to, day by day and ,moment to every now moment. ( "Day By Day" was a go to hymn at one time).  Years ago I read this ever so challenging quote, ”write like you are dying.”   What are the difficult and essential truths about the spiritual journey that must be faced by each one of us as “spiritual beings immersed in the human condition?” ( To be continued).

Write like you're dying!!!

I have not played golf in a long, long time, but the memories linger on.  When you can say “I am are playing the back nine” this means you are finishing or close to finishing the round.  Now when that applies to life, and you say you are finishing the back nine then the club house is in sight. This “spirited” place is also call the “The 19th hole.” A place where pints and drinks are drunk and lies are told.  Of all the Irish priests that I can remember not one has made it out the 80’s.  So I am playing my back nine.   I do not know whether I am teeing up on the 18th,or have teed off and now searching for my ball.  I am in no hurry to hit that second shot, the approach to the final green.  I hope I am in the woods.  That will be great to be searching among the trees.  I have done a great deal of searching among trees.  It is there I have found not just golf balls but many spiritual treasures as well.

Walking on the golf course can be such a spiritual experience.  I learned to play golf, playing with my Dad, on the course in Youghal, County Cork.  It was a seaside course.  On heights overlooking the ocean.  No matter how good the playing was or how bad the shot making, the walk was the main event.  That is as I reflect back on those, can we say sacramental moments, through a different set of lenses.  That walk side by side with my dad on those sea windblown green carpets still nourish, inspire and strengthen me.  We spoke about many things.  About his 44 years as a Civic Guard in Ireland, and the challenges of keeping  the peace, enforcing the law, and still live in peace with the people entrusted to his care.  Now I see that was a great preparation to becoming a pastor.  Where you have to live within a community, live by the church laws, and at the same time be a nourishing pastoral presence.  I have to apologize to all those I failed over theses 56 years.  It was not the church that failed it was Joe Hennessy, with his innate Irish temper and weaknesses that failed you.  I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  If you cannot forgive then ask God for the willingness to forgive.