Monday, June 29, 2020
Short walks on a long journey Part 2
St. Francis had that wonder-full simple faith which kept him grounded in those questions. I have, from my youngest years, admired St. Francis. I had even thought about becoming a Franciscan. In facing it myself I have to admit I love to complicate even the simplest things. So I have had to learn to simplify everything about my life. This is an ongoing difficult, pain-full moment-to-moment, daily struggle. Thank God I found, or was forced into hiking. Almost from the beginning I became aware, a hike was just about hiking. It was not about putting one foot carefully in front of the other. There was more, much more to this seemingly simple exercise. (I was told many years ago that the more simpler a reality APPEARS to be, the more profound it really is i.e. God). Gradually I came to realize that on hikes some of the basic, essential questions of what it means to be a "spiritual being immersed in the human condition." What this word means has triggered so many thoughts, feelings and emotions.
We are all invited. Though many are not, and never would be, if I had anything to say about it. Which to my horror I have found out I do not. As a consequence I have many, many uninvited guests. Ever notice when you are in a place of quiet, in a deserted seemingly abandoned place, you have even more of these unwanted visitors. You can look and see that there is no one on the trail and you are, seemingly, on your own, but not really. You have many unwanted company crowding your mind, and demanding attention. They are unwanted because they bring to consciousness that which we much prefer was left buried. When this happens to me, I am forced to face my shadow side. This is the side, the part of me I want to live in denial of, the part of me I do not want to share with anyone. I am choosing to live in the hell of denial, choosing my state of denial brings NOTHING but pain, and destruction, for myself. Pain and destruction will also hurt a lot of those who share my life. I am going to have to deal with great upheavals, in my daily living.