85 years + 1day is the reality from which I write. In my wildest dreams I never imagined this could be my reality. Then "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans'. My gracious Creator has a great sense of humor. Some of it I have to admit I do not understand, now speaking from the truth of the 85s, there is so very little I understand. Joe, " your life is a problem not to be understood, but an ongoing mystery to be encountered and lived through.
Last night something I have not thought about, for some time, bubbled up from the unconscious.It is a quote from Annie Dillard; " Write as if you were dying. At the same time, assume you write for an audience consisting solely of terminal patients. That is after all, the case. What would you begin writing if you knew you were going to die soon ? What could you say to a dying person that would not rage by its triviality." These words have offered a real great challenge over the years, and more so today as the back nine is definitely in play. Just a breath away. Dying people have no time for trivialities. They demand the facts. These can ,and do, come to us in a very often unvarnished manner. All life is terminal, a reality we are not always ready encounter in truth. Living the lie, is not living. It is called existing, not living.
We have to accept, embrace their reality and then pray to The Holy Spirit to give us the words that will convey the necessary, reality. Why ? Another word for The Divine, is, Reality. From the moment of our existence we are a reality. We are sent to convey our entrusted message of Reality. This demands we are true to our real selves, the self entrusted with Realities truth. Tough question, are we always true to the real truth, r do we dilute, change it so as to fit in to the reality we life in. Living this way is a lie.
I have not always spoken the truth that confronts, but fudged the real truth so a to satisfy the false self. Confession is good for the soul. The Sacrament of Reconciliation does demand a purpose of amendment. So here, on the back nine, I am being as honest as I can. Honesty is progressive, we do not have it all. So be gentle. " "To thine own self be true", a counsel of Shakespeare. That was so easy to write, but is it not so very difficult to adhere to. Truth will come to us from so many directions, and from all the events of our reality. We are never disconnected from reality, The Creator Reality makes that impossible.
So The Spirit Of Truth, The Holy Spirit comes not at the moments we choose, or through the teachers of our choosing. The real prophets of our lives are pretty much people who can, and do rub us the wrong way. In even parish I have ministered in, there was always a, "prophet presence". How I found ways to duck any encounter, but the Spirit can be way more devious that we can be. Time changed, or need I say the grace of masybrough about the changes that were need, for me to be able to welcome the gifts that were coming through this prophetic presence. Now I have to ask for the grace to accept this truth, "What I abhor in another, is exactly what I abhor in myself. The truth will set you free, but this is taking it to a place I am not anxious to go to. The back nine says," you are running out of options". Why not be really honest, asks the true self ? So kicking, screaming, crying I am lead into the Kingdom Of Truth,Justice and Love. Then acceptance is a reality that can be slowly embraced. It does not bite, but we are still, so cautious.
So goes my first consecrated effort, when faced with " write as if you were dying.
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