The Family Within.....

I got a new set of lenses for my old glasses, this week. Why? Because I just wanted to spend some money? No. I went for an eye checkup, the first one in three years. [I found out I need to have an exam every two years.] That would explain why I was having trouble with seeing, and as you may have observed, reading as well
Over the last few months I was struggling to see clearly. There was some unexplained gook in my eyes. It was time to get some answers. The answers were, my eyes, especially the left one, had gotten weaker. I was also told I have a condition called macula pucker. Not anything to worry about, for now, but a condition to be checked, in six months. If it worsens, then I am a candidate for surgery . How exciting.!!!

As you know by now, that whatever is our reality and we gaze at it long enough, there is a sermon in it. In this case, there is a blog. Whatever is real in our lives, because it is real, has within it a spiritual reality. It is up to us to develop the lenses, so we can see, that which is hidden. This process gives the so called “ordinary events” in our lives, a dimension which otherwise we would have missed. We discover the life that lies beyond the life we are living. I think I should have said, the “extraordinary life” that lies beyond . That is more in keeping with which is our total reality. We spend our whole life long journey on that journey, of discovery. It is a very wonderful, yet troublesome one. As we make our journey, we are in constant need, just like me right now, of asking and receiving new glasses. The older we get, the more powerful the lens required. Some say, we are in the constant need of the xray eye of faith. I conquer. The longer we are on the spiritual life, the more sensitive we must become to the hidden workings of THE FAMILY, we call GOD. This family we call God, we also call The Holy Trinity. God lives His life in the community of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Their secret, mysterious life is also being lived within you and I. The opening prayer of the weekend's mass has these very mysterious words,

“God, we praise you:
Father, all powerful, Christ Lord and Savior, Spirit of love.
You reveal yourself in the depths of our being, drawing us to share in your life ann your love.
Be near to the people formed in your image."

The prayer has been answered. Our Triune God, has not only drawn near to us, He has gone way beyond what we ask, beyond our petition. He has chosen freely, to make His family's place, within our deepest depths. So, as we journey into the depths, we are on our journey to where the Trinity dwells. That is a journey into the darkness of who we are as human beings. Because of this journey, we will be led to discover whatever we shall need lies deep within. The only trouble with that is, as we make the journey into our depths, we will discover every sin another person can commit. From this journey into honesty we will cry out from the dark depths for the aid of our God.

Sometimes we will have the need of our God to give new life, where we have encountered death. We will face the fact that we cannot, so we will be in the need of a Savior God. A Power that can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. To accept that powerlessness, is to accept THE CROSS. That powerlessness is personal to each one of us. No two of us will have the same pain, our pain is unique. We can never say to another, "I know your pain". That is to minimize that person's experience. All we can do, and that takes great courage, great courage, is share our story. Tell the raw naked truth of our journey in unvarnished honesty. We must also share the new life, and the hope that is now ours because of the journey. In this way, the new Spirit you have been given, to live the new life you now have, will reach out to bring hope and strength to out who needs it. You are the bearer of The Good News. Then we will realize there is a Spirit whose job is to reveal the ongoing work of grace, the work of sanctification. We will come accept, be consoled, and strengthened with the knowledge, whatever we need IS already present within.
So to sum up, the Father is the creator God, the son is the Savior God, the Holy Spirit is the Loving Power of our God which sanctifies us. All this, and infinitely more, is being lived out within you and I. It is being lived out whether we realize it or not. We do not have to know, all that matters is God knows. I will end with an ancient Gaelic prayer.

I arise today through a mighty strength,
The invocation of the Trinity......
through belief in the threeness....
through confession of the oneness..
Of The Creator of Creation.

What a Wonder-full, Awe-full mystery it is, that has chosen you, yes you, to be His dwelling place. Reverence yourself and ALL that you are, all that is authentically you, and the mystery of God will take on a new, and dynamic meaning.

God's Shyness.....

“Come Holy Spirit, and fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit, and they shall be created, and, you shall renew the face of the earth.”

We have journeyed through our desert experience, accompanied, strengthened and guided by the Good Shepherd. We again, on a new and deeper level, participated in the Paschal death of Christ. This ever deepening participation, has led to a new understanding of what Resurrection really means. This leads us to grow in hope. This vital hope, provides encouragement and vitality as we encounter the many faces of death, on this life's journey. We are then lead to accept, not like, that ever so painful process of letting go. Letting go of what? Letting go of the old, the familiar. (The real meaning of the Ascension.) In this letting go a space, a place is created into which we now welcome the Holy Spirit. This Holy Spirit is the loving creative force of God, that is being welcomed into our lives. It is The Power that heals, transfigures, and transforms. It is the gentle love of God, can there be any other? This love has been described as a cooling zephyr, renewing and strengthening us, for the continuation of the journey. It is a peaceful, calming love in which we can find our rest and healing. The only catch is we have to allow it to happen to us. We have to surrender ourselves into that space, into that place where our God has chosen to make His dwelling place. To our horror, and disbelief, we are led to accept this wonderful mystery, the place of our previous discomfort, is now the place we find our comfort and peace. God's ways sure do not make any sense, do they? All this happens how? When we allow it to happen. Yes there is no mistake here.

This is how much God loves us, we are able, because of free will, to say yes, or no, to His gift. We have to make the choice between being a human doer, or a human being. A very difficult one to make. One will feed the ego and the result in looking good on the outside, while all the while feeling alone and isolated on the inside. We on the other hand, becoming a human being, we have to deny the ego, if you so dare. We are then led to a place of peace which is beyond our hopes, and dreams. In doing this, we are led to a place, where we are given a peace, which the world of the ego cannot give. That place of rest seems to me to be created only after some great trial, or upheaval. It appears only when we have endured the battle with the pain of loss, alienation, discouragement, isolation, failure etc. We are lead to the acceptance, we are beloved of our God, not, and I repeat not, because of what we do, but because of who we are in His love, and in His eyes. As we rest in that place of comfort and hope we will be able to live life, and not just endure a lifeless existence.

We are to remind ourselves again and again, because we fail and fall again and again, of the welcoming words of Jesus The Christ "come to me all you who are weary and find life burdensome, and I will refresh you", another translation says "and I will give you rest. He does not say I will FIX you". Anyone who comes to me, him I will not reject" are other words we seem to forget. It is up each one of us to respond to the personal, particular call of the Good Shepherd so he can lead us to safe and green pastures, where we can rest our weary bones. As we are nourished in the place we are led to, we find there healing, transfiguration, and transformation. We discover a new life, never knowing when the old one ceased to exist. By the way, how it happened and when it happened, IS, none of our business. That is the egos need, that is the false self looking for some fodder to boost itself. In the pasture we are led to, we will experience a sense of renewal. A new sense of vitality bubbles up within us. This will be in proportion to the above mentioned participation in the paschal mystery. It appears, the greater the wound, the greater the gift. What great consolation there is in that.

“Send forth your spirit and renew the face of the earth.” That is what is always happening to both you and I. We are constantly being made new, through the power of The Spirit of Love. This new "creating" is always done quietly and above all, gently. So much of the creative work is done in the dark, I guess we can say, The Holy Spirit, is the shyness of God, revealed. The gentleness is revealed in the gifts of love, peace , joy, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control, so to end up. Looking at your life right now, what is the gift you really want from this previous list, which will allow you to live, and not just exist? Take that request into the shower with you, and follow the directions from 'The Shower of Shalom' blog on 4/11/10. In this way, you are asking for the Spirit to bestow on you what is your need right now. In other words, we are asking for our daily bread. The bread of yesterday will not energize us today. We need the bread of today for the challenges that we will face us today. The Spirit of the Good Shepherd is always, and always will be there for you and I. The creative power of God takes what is ours, compensates for what is missing, and quietly and gently weaves it back into the pattern of our lives, and we have not missed a step. All we can say is “by the power of God's love this has been done for me. Not because I am good, but because God is Good. I did not earn this gift, I do not deserve this gift, what I must do Is allow myself to enjoy this particular, and personal manifestation of love of my God for me."

Truth and Beauty...

Eternal Father, reaching from end to end of the universe, and ordering all things with your mighty arm: for you, time is the unfolding of truth that already is, the unveiling of beauty that is yet to be........(may the presence of you Son) among us lead to the vision of unlimited truth and unfold the beauty of your love. We ask this............

This is the opening prayer of The Seventh Sunday, after Easter. What great timing? These last few of weeks we have celebrated Good Shepherd Sunday, Mothers Day. We also have had a number where we encountered the Risen Christ preparing His disciples for His, going away, and return to the Father. Over the weeks we were able to reflect on the "farewell address' of Christ. When we are in a state, or stage, of fear, returning again and again to those chapters of John's Gospel is a great source of reassurance and hope. Christ is leaving. He then says something very mysterious, " it is good that I go". Weird. Why is it good that you leave, the disciples could ask? You were out of our lives for three days and we did not do so well? Now you are going to really leave us, and this is supposed to be good, makes no sense, we are going to be lost.

It is here we encounter the care and concern of The Good Shepherd, revealing in His words the quality of a good mother, who happens to be, our God. He reassures the frightened, and concerned disciples, He will not abandon them or leave them orphans. He will leave only to make way for a still greater gift, The Spirit, The Advocate, will be sent, not to be present to them, this Spirit is going to be WITHIN them. This coming will complete the three presence of God. In the Old Testament, he was the God “for”. In the New Testament, He is the God “with”. Now He is coming to be the God “within”. We always need to keep those realities, those presences of our Gods before us, or we too can not only get caught up in the same feelings of being lost, left behind and abandoned. That is not just any truth, it is the beauty of our real truth. This beauty, as the prayer says is gradually, and oh, oh, so gradually unfolding, within us. This unfolding is the work of the same creative Spirit that brought order to the original chaos, and raised Jesus from the dead. We have a great power that exists in us, through us, and always for others. As Jesus Christ came, not for Himself, but for others, we who now carry on that same ministry in His name, must always keep this truth before ourselves. What is that truth? It is not our ministry, or message, it is what has been given to us, to be given away, freely. That is why we are given the Spirit of truth, to keep us in God's truth, not just our small, narrow interpretation of infinite truth. Truth, and Beauty, of necessity go together, because each is used to reveal who our God is. So, embrace that mysterious beauty, within you, today. Do not give in to the Advocates archenemy, the prosecuting attorney, Satan. Live your truth which tells to you are the beloved of the Gracious, kind, and ever watchful Good Shepherd. When the time comes, and it does come, again and again, keep the following words of Karl Rahner ever before you. I have used them so often I now can recite them from memory.

I am the blind alleys of all your paths, for when you no longer know how to go any farther, then you have reached me, foolish child, though you are not aware of it. I am in your anxiety; for I have shared it by suffering it. And in doing so, I wasn't even heroic according to the wisdom of the world. I am in the prison of your finiteness, for my love has made me your prisoner. When the totals of your plans and of your life's experiences do not balance out evenly; I am the unsolved remainder. And I know that this remainder, which makes you so frantic, is in reality my love, that you do not understand.

I am present in your needs. I have suffered them and they are now transformed but not obliterated from my heart. . . . This reality--incomprehensible wonder of my almighty love - I have sheltered safely in the cold stable of your world. I am there. I no longer go away from this world, even if you do not see me now; . . . I am there.

Motherhood and Mystery

One day when I was on vacation and I was at Mass. In front of me was a mother and child. The mother placed the child in front of her at arms length. They gazed at each other for some time. The child gazed at his mother was a steady silent gaze. Then its face broke into a wondrous smile, from its lips joy is screeched and its little hands began to clap happily. The child rejoiced that it was loved and the face of the young mother shone with a beauty that no artist could capture. From then on, whenever I hear a screech at Mass, that is my vision. I am jealous.

That is what I see when mother and child are caught up in “the gaze”. Often, when I am on vacation, I get caught up so often observing the interplay between mother and child just as I do when I celebrate Mass. There is something going on with that interplay. Whatever I have to say is being ignored. There is something more satisfying, more full-filling being offered in that interplay for the mother and child than what I have to offer. Of that I am certain.

I came across the following quotation, in which I have found food for thought over many years;

“Mothers beauty infinitely surpasses the glory of nature. It is an unimaginable beauty, the only one that you can imagine this woman attending to stirrings of her infants. Christ never speaks of beauty. It is the only company He keeps, but under it’s true name: Love. Beauty comes from love, as daylight comes from the sun. As the sun comes from God, as God comes from a woman exhausted from childbirth. Fathers go to war, to the office, sign contracts. Fathers are in charge of society. That is their business, their great affair. A father is someone who represents something other than himself in his relationship to his child, and who believes in what he represents: law, reason, experience. Society. A mother does not represent anything in relationship to her child. She does not stand in relationship to it, but is around it, inside, outside, everywhere. She raises the child up at arms length and presents it to eternal life. Mothers are in charge of God. That is their passion, their sole occupation, their loss and their empowerment at the same time. To be a father is to play the role of father. To be a mother is an absolute mystery, a mystery without reference point, a absolute that is not relative to anything, an impossible task that is nevertheless fulfilled, even by bad mothers. Even bad mothers stand in their nearness to be absolute, they have an intimacy with God that fathers will never know…….

Mothers have no rank, no pull. They are born at the same time as their children. Mothers grow up in life at the same time as their child and as the child is equal of God, from the time of its birth, from the beginning mothers are inside the holy of holies, fulfilled by everything, ignorant of everything that fulfills them. And if all true beauty comes from love, where does love come from? From what matter does it matter derived, from what nature its super-naturalness, beauty comes from love. Loves comes from attention. Simple attention to the simple: humble attention to the humble things: living attention to all lives, and surely to that of the little cup in its cradle, incapable of feeding itself, incapable of everything but tears. The first knowledge of the newborn, the single possession of the prince of the crib, is his gift of complaint, his claim on the love far away, his screams in the direction of a life too distant-and it is mother that gets up and responds, it is God who wakes up and arises, responding every time, every time attentive above and beyond weariness. The weariness of the first days of the world, a weariness of the first years of childhood. Apart from that, there is nothing. There is no greater holiness then that of mothers exhausted by diapers to be washed, formula to be heated and baths to be given. Men hold the world. Mothers hold the eternal element that holds the world and men.” [Bobbin, The Secret of St. Francis Assisi]

A Personal Good Shepherd...

I, came across the following reflection, by one of my favorite authors; Fr. Carroll Stuhlmueller,C.P.
"...in the church where questions are thrashed out theologically with an eye to tradition and earlier practices, and beyond the church where new and unexpected manifestations of the Holy Spirit will startle us, was anticipated by Jesus in the parable of The Good Shepherd. In this story Jesus knows each of us sheep by name. He calls each one with a sound which reaches into the depths of their memory, all the way back to their birth when each one of us is given and a vocation for life. Each change of life, whether for the group or the individual, must be kept in continuity not only with each person's past life, but even with his ancestry from whom life and name have been received. Each change in life, moreover, must answer a personal call and touch a cord of love."

I have found that be so true in my own life. Each movement of years, and life's vocation, has demanded a new a new commitment, a new "YES". Each heartfelt "YES" resulted not only in the continuation, but an even deeper recommitment to what the original "yes" demanded. As you reflect on your life, what is happening, now, that demands a new response, on your part, and of those who share your life. Saying "yes" to the new, means saying good-bye to the old. We cannot rush the good-bye, and we cannot rush the grieving. As much as we want to rush the grieving process we do that at our own peril. Jesus spent 40 days with his disciples, to aid them in the process of change. So much difficulty and turmoil comes to us, as individuals, as couples, and as families, simple because the grieving work has not been done. Is this the time you will now say good-bye, to a past loss, to a past death? What have been the movement, or movements of your life, that shattered you in some way? We must say "good-bye" to them with anger and sorrow, so we can welcome the new, the vital, the vibrant, as it unfolds today, in the sacrament of the present moment.

Fr. Carroll, goes on to say..."Because the Good shepherd calls us by our name and leads us back and forth from our ancestry into our future, Jesus also compares Himself to the door of the sheepfold. The means by which we go back and forth turns out to be Jesus himself. Through Jesus we slip backward into our subconscious, into the depths of life, and become absorbed in the mystery of existence. WE hear our name spoken by Jesus: we experience the betrothal of love and a union of ecstasy. Through Jesus, we pass through a door into our very best self, our name as spoken by Jesus. Through this same door, which is Jesus, we are called to go forth into the activity of daily life, to mingle with other people, to form family, neighborhood and work crew, schools and clubs, activities and plans. To hear Jesus summon us by name , and to pass through the gate which is Himself, we go beyond the sheepfold into the wider world around us. We are lead to quench our thirst. Yet, at sundown we pass through the same door, which is Jesus, as the sound of our name is spoken by the same Good Shepherd, and we led back into the depths of ourselves, in silent prayer and sleep.

" In all this movement, as in ALL THIS REST, Jesus is at the center, and yet Jesus loses Himself in us. He calls OUR name in order to summon us forth to nourishment and pasture as well as to call us back to the silent prayer of the sheepfold........In all these moments, when the spirit seems to act abruptly and to lead us beyond our expectations-as happened to Peter in the Acts of the Apostles- when the spirit leads us to lay down our life as our best plans and ideals are lost within a family, a community or a church-these are the times we hear our names best-as spoken by JESUS.

May these words be a source of strength for you. May He, the Good Shepherd, and His constant care, be a source of encouragement, as you face the challenge of being His follower. The following is an old Celtic prayer. You can make it more personal when you change the word" Christ ", to "My Good Shepherd". In times of change and challenge, may the conviction that there a newness happening. In living this newness will be our personal witness to the Resurrection. Yes Christ has died, Yes Christ has risen, and yes Christ is alive and living largely within this person you are looking at right now.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in every heart of every man/woman who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouths of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

A New Spirit......

Welcome to another few steps on the hike we call, the spiritual journey. One person remarked this journey is just "a step long" and a mile deep. Well we can say "taking one" is easy, going a mile deep is real hard and difficult work. That being the truth, then most of the journey is going to take place in darkness. (Make sense?) Upon reflection, Jesus’ birth came at night, and as with all births, He, too, came from the darkness of the womb. His resurrected life began in the darkness of the tomb. It was from the darkness of the womb the fullness of new life sprang. Darkness just seems to never win. That is a fact we must repeat, again and again. We must always keep before ourselves, the awe-full, wonder-full, depth of meaning, that is hidden and revealed in the Paschal Mystery. We live it out in our every moment, of each and every day we are privileged to live. . Yes, that central mystery of our faith, is front and center, in our everyday living. "Life is not a problem to be solved, it is a mystery to be lived." As we live life, so we live the Paschal Mystery. We have been Baptized into the mystery. As we live life, so we live the mystery of our Baptism. There is no human action, on our part, that does not reveal some aspect of the contemporary Christ, to the people that are placed in our lives. What an awe-full mystery we are, and live.

Why do we spend so much time reflecting on The Mystery? From my own lived experience there are now some things beginning to become clearer. These are best summed up in the words of Fr. Rolheiser when he writes the following concerning the Paschal Mystery. These words I am coming to an ever deepening acceptance of.
" This is the central mystery within Christianity. Unfortunately, it is one of the great misunderstood and ignored mysteries within theology and spirituality. We pay lip service to the fact that the key thing Jesus did for us was to suffer and die, but we seldom really try to understand what that means and how we might appropriate it within our own lives." ...Christian spirituality does not apologize for the fact that, within it, the most central of all mysteries is the paschal one, the mystery of suffering, death, and transformation. In Christian spirituality, Christ is central and, central to Christ ,is His death and rising to new life so as to send us a new Spirit"

Looking back at my life, I am sorry to say, I too payed only "lip service" to that central mystery of our faith. When did the change occur? Just like the great number of people I have met, it happened when the wheels came off, and I found myself in the ditch.

There was the great fear that comes with being lost, and in darkness. There was no obvious path to travel. Merton's words were a consolation, "God I have no idea of where I am going...?” de Chardin, " the cross is a sign of growth that is accomplished in pain". Rohr reminded me that my cross that I have to embrace, on a daily basis, are my experiences of failure, rejection, and nakedness. The only place of ease, was during the celebration of Mass. It was that, and the comforting, reassuring word of others, that provided me with what was necessary to leave behind what was appealing, but destructive. Has this happened just once? Of course not, we all have to face again and again. That is essential to the understanding of the spiritual journey. We have to be taught, on an ever deepening level, what it means to be a real, and true follower, of Jesus Christ. With each experience of a deeper death, comes a keener awareness of what it means to be alive. With each letting go, there is the welcoming and receiving, of a new Spirit to give vitality to the life I am given to love today.

I will end with another quote from Fr. Rolheiser, "The Paschal mystery ,......is a process of transformation within which we are given both new life and new spirit. It begins with suffering and death, moves on to the reception of new life, spends time grieving the old and adjusting to the new, and finally only after the old life has been Truly let go of, is a new spirit given for the life we are already living."

How about that, with your cup of coffee in the morning!

The Tangled Web....

We continue on our post Easter journey. I am very well aware of the fact that there is, always some part of us, if not all of us, still suffering, and wallowing in the pre-Easter events. We do not , or cannot, encounter the real God in fantasy. The real God of Jesus Christ can only be encountered, in reality. When we accept the reality of where we are at, and what is happening to us we are able to connect with God and allow God to connect with us. In this encounter with the real, God meets us, we meet Him. He meets us, and so the miracle of grace begins its’ mysterious work. How it works, the manner in which it works, and the time frame all this happens is NONE of our business.

The Easter and post Easter events we read about for ourselves, or hear them proclaimed to us, are meant to remind us again and again, of what we forget, again and again. We are after all human, so we need to be dipped, and dipped, in what we forget, again and again. We are in constant need of being reminded, now more than ever, of the great gift of hope, which is the message, and the gift of this season. We need to be continuously immersed in The Mystery we call Paschal, until we get to the place where we see, or more correctly, are led to see, what? Our everyday life, and the events of the same, are our actual, personal encounter with the life, suffering, death, burial, resurrection, Ascension, and the sending down of His Spirit.

Life can and does come at us so hard and fast, we can and do lose focus. We lose focus on the fact, this is what Jesus had to suffer.
This is what he had to endure. This is what He was tempted to recoil from. This IS my personal participation in that Mystery we call Paschal. In this belief, I have the assurance I will never suffer alone. What consolation? When we read what the disciples went through, we are given a preview of what you, and I, are to journey through as well. The story is the same, only the place and the scenery, have changed.

Locked doors, personal feelings of guilt, fear, and shame, are not powerful enough to keep the Risen Christ from being with those He loved. He will not be kept from those whom He has loved, to the end. He is being The Good Shepherd, searching out His lost and disillusioned disciples. (As He did, so he does, with you and I.) There has been a change. There has been a change in the human Jesus whom they thought they knew, and loved, in so far as they were able to. Their knowledge of what it means to be "risen", will take time to develop, and accept. That knowledge, will have to be purified and strengthened, as it goes in the doubting stage. They had to go through the same process of transformation that we go through. Consolation? This
Risen Jesus, who is now the Christ of God, is no longer bound by the constraints of time and space. As He was present to His disciples, so He is present to you and I…. right NOW! He is not only present to both you and I, He is present in His risen life, within you and I, right now. Where we are, there He dwells. Were He is, so is the Father, and Holy Spirit. They are present , within us, loving us as they love one another. What a party that is going on! We must ask for the love, to love ourselves enough, to let go of our so called failures, regrets, doubts, and fears, so we can join in the celebration.

In the joining in, the celebration we are slowly lead to the fullness of the Aisling of God, the dream of God. This aisling, this dream, is expressed in the following,

" I have come that you would have life, and have it to the fullest".

God will not settle for anything less, why should we? We are offered the Shalom of God, always and everywhere. What is the aspect of Shalom you need right now? (Read the list from last week, and claim it). You are the beloved daughter/ son, claim that right NOW! "Now is the time of salvation"
Christ rose from the darkness of the tomb. The tomb was actually the womb from which came new life. The tomb experience teaches us the hard lesson that when everything seems to be lost, at its’ worst, it is then we are in the best place to deepen our understanding of the Easter – Ascension - Pentecost Mystery. The process continues. The more personal you make the journey, the more rewarding it will be. The more you will have to share with those God’s love will place on your path, so you can be their companion, and they yours. What a tangled web the love of God weaves ????

Shower....Of.....Shalom

We were afforded the great gift of forty days, to prepare ourselves, yet again, for the great feast of Easter. We celebrate The Paschal Mystery again and again because we are ever experiencing that reality, always anew. So you see, we have to take this years’ experience of the mystery and confer on its’ uniqueness, by celebrating it as a new and never before reality. That is precisely what each and every liturgical celebration is. We took three days to celebrate The Easter mystery, The Paschal mystery. These twenty four hours are from evening to evening. From the evening of Holy Thursday to the evening of Good Friday is one day, and the same with the other two days. Now we are going to be afforded another 50 days to contemplate on how we experience, what we celebrated, as a daily realty. Otherwise, Jesus Christ did all that he did, suffered what he suffered, for nothing, His life was then a farce, and the same could be said of our lives too.

It is our lives being led as the life of The Contemporary Christ, that gives our life, and every second we lead untold value. In each and every moment of our lives, in each and every action of our lives, we are revealing anew, Jesus Christ. I live, no not I, it is Christ who lives. What an amazing power grace has, and how Gently is it exercised. This gentleness is portrayed in the first meeting of the Risen Christ with His Dispirited disciples .

What a feeling there must have been in that room. The fear had to be palatable. The doors were locked. They had to speak in whispers for fear of detection. They had to reflect on the events of The Last Supper, Gethsemane, the betrayal by one of their own, the denial by one of their own, the suicide, the scourging, the mockery, the scorn, that long journey to Calvary, the crucifixion, the burial, the closed tomb, now the news of the empty tomb. They had to reflect on their own failure to be a supportive presence. When their Leader needed them the most, they were not there. Just a very few were able to stand and be counted, the rest fled in fear. Now, there are the feelings of not just of fear, there are those feelings of helplessness, confusion , bewilderment, hopelessness, frustration, guilt, disappointment, anger, shame, hurt, and pain. As those were the feelings of the disciples, so they are our feeling today. The only thing we have to do is to be honest enough to admit them. Human nature does not change. As it was, so it is, and ever shall be. We, each day have the great challenge of being humble enough to embrace and admit to the human condition.

" We are born human and spend our whole life coming to understand what human means.” An ever deepening reflection on the Paschal Mystery is one of the avenues open to you and I. There are times when we can reflect on this mystery from a distance. Other times life immerse us in a depth we never expected to be in, or in a place we never expected to be at. Life does throw us some real curve balls, and we are left lost beaten and bewildered. We are now ready to encounter the reality of the risen Christ. We are now in the best possible place to receive the gifts He brings. We are lost. We are empty, and emptied out. We are on the best possible place. We are now be open to having a Savior. This Savior brings with Him, Not peace, but Shalom. Shalom is something much more than peace. The wish for Shalom brings with it the following, hold out your emptiness so you can receive the following;

Completeness, wholeness, health, peace welfare, safety, soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation and discord.

We think of peace just as the absence of war. The Shalom on The Risen Christ Is so much more than that. It is always there for us. Here is a little exercise I recommend. Take a look at that list. Then take a look at you life's journey. Now make a decision what as regards the particular gift you are in need of right now. As you stand under the shower let the running water be the reality of what you ache for. You will have to leave the shower at some point in time, but let that memory of the running water be a constant reminder of the deeper reality. That reality is GOD pouring down, you as constant stream, that gift you so desire. This constant stream will pore down on you each and every second of the day. I must remind you are in charge of the tap. God cannot take over your free will, He loves you too much. God will not turn that tap for you. I hope and pray you will love yourself enough to enjoy the......Shower........ Of..........Shalom.





=

From Death to New Life

The Pascal Mystery transforms, transfigures and leads an always and new and different way of living. It bestows on us the great gift of hope, that death is not, “the final word on life or despair the final days of human beings”. [Boff] As we make our journey into the light of the resurrection, we will be led again and again to the understanding that out of all of our pain, sorrow, and brokenness, comes new life and wonderful gifts. We will be led to the belief that the “greater the wound, the greater the pain…the greater the gift”. That is why each year, we are “dipped and dyed” in the Pascal Mystery to be awakened and to celebrate the new life that has come to us from what we thought was death. Death is never the end, it is always the beginning.

The Pascal Mystery is first and foremost a mystery. This mystery teaches that with every beginning there is an ending and with every ending there is a new beginning. It is a mystery dealing with the deepest working of God's grace. A mystery dealing with death, burial and new life. A spiritual mystery such as this cannot be explained, it can only be entered into and treated with reverence. I would like to suggest this year, more than ever, we need to open ourselves up to what this week offers in the way of hope, consolation and the promise of radical new life. This will come to us through the power of honesty, honesty about our everyday experience. There can be no spiritual growth unless we are developing a progressive honesty which is about embracing what is real. Where there is no honesty, there is no reality. So, there is no God. When we want to get a grip on reality and the Pascal Mystery within us, here are a number of words you and I cannot have in our vocabulary, the following are many words which have no connection with reality:
could, would, should, what if, if, if only, when, ought, try, interesting, or any similar words used to deny our real feelings and our real emotions.

A number of years ago, I read a book by Fr. Ronald Holheiser which enabled me to enter into a new and better life-giving understanding of what the Pascal Mystery is all about. In his book, The Holy Longing, he explains the difference between terminal death and Pascal death. "Terminal death is a death that ends life and then possibility. Pascal death, like terminal death, is real, however, Pascal death is a death that, while ending one kind of life, opens a person undergoing it to receive a deeper and richer form of life. The image of the grain of wheat falling into the ground and dying so as to produce new life is an image of Pascal death. Then resurrected life...is the reception of a radically new life... The Pascal Mystery is about Pascal death and resurrected life."

Continuing on, in the same chapter entitled "The Spirituality of the Pascal Mystery", we read the following:

The Pascal Mystery might be diagrammed as follows:
1) Good Friday...The loss of life-real death
2) Easter Sunday..."the reception of new life"
3) The Forty Days..."a time for readjustment to the new, and grieving the old"
4) Ascension..."letting go of the old and letting it bless you, the refusal to claim"
5) Pentecost..."the reception of new spirit, for the new life that one is already living"

Put into a more colloquial language and stated as personal Pascal challenge for each one of us, one might recap this diagram this way:
1) "Name of your death"
2) "Claim your birth"
3) "Grieve what you have lost and adjust to the new reality"
4) "Do not cling to the old, let it ascend and give you its blessing"
5) "Accept the spirit of the life that you are in fact living"

This cycle is not something we must undergo just once...It is rather something we must undergo daily, in every aspect of our lives. Christ spoke of many deaths, of daily deaths and of many risings and various Pentecosts. The Pascal Mystery is the secret to life. Ultimately, our happiness depends upon properly undergoing it... Unless we die in infancy, we will have many deaths in our lives and within each one of these we must receive new life and new spirit. Daily we must undergo the Pascal Mystery.

In her book, Little Pieces of Light, Sister Joyce has this to say, "Being able to let go and let God take over one's life demands a tremendous amount of trust in this Divine Companion. Thomas Merton writes that, 'True love and prayer are really learned in the hour when prayer becomes impossible and your heart turns to stone'. It is in within the hour of our greatest darkness that we discovered that we are never really alone. It is a time when we learn to trust as Gods love is much more than we ever imagined." This gives us the great freedom to be able to sing our Hallelujahs with real gusto. Death has turned into life. Christ is risen and is alive within you and me.

"O happy fault of Adam that has revealed to us such a God."

T....transformation....transfiguration

Last week we left off with the younger son, the rebellious one, back safe and secure, in the home of his prodigal Father. His dream for you and I, is to live a life that is grounded in the reality of His love. A love, that to the calculating eye, makes no sense. (Thank God, our God is like that.) This son has returned, not as hired hand, as he wanted to be, he has come back to his inheritance, as son. He did not earn it, actually, far from it. He did not deserve it, he was just given it. There is a little battle here. The son wanted to be as, "one of the hired hands",. Hired hands come and go, a son, has to remain. He has also the responsibility of growing up to be, a father. To be a responsible father to himself, and to future generations. What a wonder- full example that son had to model his fatherhood on. This goes for women as well. Women have to be responsible mothers to themselves ,first, then becoming healthy mothers, of the coming generations. All of what has been just written demands, a great deal of hard work. Giving birth to who we really are, is never easy. This birthing cannot happen, without grace. It is grace that calls us to this new reality. A reality that emerges from a place , and at a time we least expect. This birthing is a NEVER ending process.

So, the party is going on. A celebration, that is going on to celebrate the return of the son, safe and sound. A celebration, the father said "has to happen". He had no choice but to celebrate. Because of this, there is one very unhappy camper-the eldest son. Brother of the rebellious one. Up until now he has been the hardworking, obedient one. That is up to now. Now when he sees what has happened, he goes ballistic on the father. He is so caught up in his anger and resentment he does not address him as father. He does not recognize
his relationship with his brother. He calls him "that son of yours". The father must have been taken aback by the appearance of this aspect of this son, who up to now, appeared so respectful. He now appears to be full of anger and resentment. He will not go into the party. His resentment is preventing him from joining the celebration. How sad that picture is. The standoff between the father who is celebrating, and the son standing there, seemingly unmoved by what has transpired. There we have the confrontation, between thanksgiving, gratitude, and resentment. The battle that rages in your soul, and mine. These two realities cannot coexist. They are mutually exclusive. We have to make the decision, are we going with the desire to be the prodigal mother/ father, or are we going to live out our lives in resentment. We have the choice of showing compassion to the rebellious, just like the father, or turn our backs and live our lives in isolation.

John'O Donohue has written the following, in his great classic 'ANAM CARA",

"To the resentful eye, everything is begrudged. People who allowed the canker of resentment into their vision can never enjoy who they are or what they have. They are always looking outward others with resentment. Perhaps they are resentful because they see others as more beautiful, more gifted, or richer than themselves. The resentful eye lives out of its own inner poverty and forgets its own inner harvest."

In order to enter the great celebration of, death and resurrection, let us bring both the rebellious, and the resentful parts of us to the reconciling love of our Prodigal Father. We die a little each time we acknowledge the fact this reconciliation is not the result of anything we can do. The reconciliation will come in God's time not in our time, nor unfortunately, according to our schedule. We will have to spend way more time with our rebellious and resentful selves that we really ever wanted to. (At least that is my experience.) This dying is a Paschal Death, bringing with it new life. With this new life comes the experience of a new freedom. A new vitality has entered our lives.

Again O'DONOHUE writes,

"When you awaken to your incredible freedom, the walls of your inner prisons gradually become the thresholds of your new life, your place of new growth".

This new life of real freedom, is God's Ashling, God's dream for you and I. His dream for you and I, is a live to be loved in His reality. "In Him we are to live and move and have our being”. Let us then entrust ourselves, without reservation, to the loving, compassionate embrace of our Prodigal Father. It is real scary to say "not my will, but your will be done". He will take us at our word.
Through the desert of our weakness, and our brokenness, we will be guided ever so gently, to that Promised land were all things, are being made new. In this new, and unfamiliar land we are in the process of becoming, one. We are in the process of becoming, whole. We are in the process of becoming, holy. Yes, it is a painful process. Yes, we enter this experience of dying and rising again and again (Lent is every year). Each time we experience the abandonment at an ever deepening level. We will cry out from a different place , "my God, my God why have toy abandoned me". We enter the fullness of our participation in the dying and rising slowly. We have to gradually prepare for the ongoing immersion into the Paschal Mystery. We must also be prepared for a deepening of the celebration, and all that comes with that. The peace, joy, and love that is beyond our expectation, and our ability to understand. There is a radical
transformation, and transfiguration taking place in us. What that is, is none of our business. Ours is to enjoy, to celebrate, and so fulfill Our God's fondest dream for you and I. We are to be the ongoing, living, breathing, contemporary reality of His BELOVED son, Jesus, who is the Christ.

R...Radical Change

To those who are new to this blog, we are now in the second year. In an effort to not repeat myself, (which as you know, I do real
Well), I am going to ask you to please go back and reread the blogs of this time last year. That would be the weeks beginning March 4th, 2009.

During this season of Lent, we are made very much aware of three realities. The reality of sin, the reality of God's compassion, and our need for ongoing conversion. Many times we get so caught up in the sin part, we do not focus enough on the compassion part. We are so inclined to believe the bad, and fight the good about ourselves, and the duty of our deepest reality. I like that saying, "God help me to believe the truth about myself, no matter how BEAUTIFUL it is."

The wonder-full, beauty-full, mysterious compassion of our God is constantly being revealed to us. This revelation takes place in our ongoing, deepening understanding of who our God really is. This reality is revealed to us, in the person of Jesus Christ. He is the enfleshment of the compassion of God. He came to reveal, to model for us, the real compassion, which will confront our imagined concepts of the same. These will always sell God short. Nobody can forgive us the way our God forgives. His is, an infinite Compassion, and Forgiveness. The experience we have of the forgiveness of others, no matter how good it is, is still limited. God's compassion is unlimited, unrestricted, unconditioned and infinite. Jesus having assumed our humanity, was able, through His mission and ministry, to encounter real people, in real human experiences. In that encounter was able to reveal the mystery of God's unconditioned love for us. He met the people as they were, doing what was their lot in life. They were greeted with no judgment, no condition. "You are who you are, and I love you. Will you allow Me to love you?”. This to my mind was the approach of Jesus, and nothing has changed in the meantime. That was his approach to The Samaritan Woman, to the woman caught in adultery, to Zacchaeus (up a tree), and Levi collecting taxes. All were, in the minds of the many, people to be condemned, avoided, and shunned. Jesus, as the mind and heart of God, sees the essential goodness. As it was, so it is, with you and I. Thank God we have those consoling words of scripture, "not as man sees does God see, because man see the appearance but God looks into the heart." When he looks into our hearts, all he sees is the indwelling of His family, the Holy Trinity. In that loving gaze, into our hearts, all our God sees is, LOVE.

Fr.. Rohr points out this amazing fact, 75% of the parables of Jesus were all about mercy and compassion. And people say I repeat myself?.
My favorite, it the Parable of The Prodigal Father. In that gospel we meet THREE people we encounter each and every moment of our spiritual journey. They are present in each and every one of us. It has been pointed out, the younger son, the rebellious one, is us in the first half of life. The resentful one is you and I, in the second half of life. We as the prodigal father/mother must grow in our unconditioned love of both. We must grow in reconciliation with both so we can life a fuller, and a more joyful life. This reconciliation process involves a change.

Change. Who likes change? We all like certainty, we all like the familiar. To change, we have to let go of something, and wait for, as of yet, the unknown. That is what Paschal death is all about. That is why we celebrate that reality year after year, because it is our reality day after day, moment after moment -The change, the new life that comes to us, from death and loss. There are times we have to take responsibility for the death, and or loss. Other times we are caught up in the reality of life, and the pain that life brings with it.

The rebellious son, brings it on himself. In a desire to after an apparent good, he brings hurt to his family. When he asks his father for his inheritance. What he is actually saying is, "I cannot wait for you to die to get the money coming to me, so i want it now". Wrong, he had no right to the money. It was the fathers’ to give, after his death. The prodigal father gives him the money. Off goes the son. Away from his home, to a far off land. He leaves home. He turns his back on the place where he was the beloved, and all that it meant to be the beloved. We, too, leave that place where we call home. As we are caught up in those voices that trumpet, oh so loudly, the praises of power, popularity, pleasure, and prestige, we leave home. Henri Nouwen points out, anger, resentment, jealousy, desire for revenge, lust, greed, antagonisms, and rivalries are obvious signs we have left home. He goes on to say that happens quite easily. Rather than focusing on being the beloved, I can be caught up in finding myself brooding about someone else's success, my own loneliness. I can catch myself daydreaming about becoming rich and famous. I get caught up in the fear of not being liked, blamed, put aside, passed over, ignored, persecuted, and killed. This will lead to constantly developing strategies to defend myself and thereby assure myself of the love I need and deserve. With that frame of mind we are in deep doo-doo. We are deep, in the manure of the pig sty. When all seems to be lost, it is then things begin to change.

The gospel say the rebellious one, "coming to his senses", came to remember the truth about who he really was and where he came from. In that moment of conversion, he was on the way BACK, to where his true home lay. [That is what conversion is….turning around and going the opposite direction.] That memory of the place where he was the beloved, started him on the journey homeward. As it is so easy for us to leave home we need to constantly be vigilant of where our thoughts are, and where they are leading us to. Lent is the season when we are asked to face that which we allow, to force us from our true home. Lent affords the opportunity to reclaim, who we are as the Beloved (son/daughter). Lent provides the great opportunity to rethink what is of lasting value, rather than concentrating on that what is of its nature , transitory.

It is in our pig sties, our Good Shepherd finds us, or can I say, catches up with us. In that pig sty we are weak, hungry, and discouraged. We are lost in our guilt, fear and shame. In that place of “lostness”, we are found. Our GOOD Shepherd gently lifts us out of that place of torment, places us on his strong shoulders and carries us home. On that journey home, we come to realize, the Good Shepherd is not only the one who carries us home, he is FOOD for the journey as well. How generous our God is. In that return journey, there is a radical change brought about, by grace. We come to realize and gradual accept, we are never lost. There is no place, where our God cannot find us. There is no limit to His compassion, His love, His forgiveness, or His relentless search for us. The only limit, is the limit, that we impose. Let us look deep inside, and honestly accept that part we shun, avoid, condemn, and persecute. We have created our own pig sty. We must invite the Good Shepherd to come and work the miracle of his reconciling, transforming love.

"Out of the depths I cry, I cry to you O Lord, Lord hear my cry",
"A humbled and broken heart you will not spurn",
"As far as the east is from the west so far have your sins been placed behind you"

Next week….. "The tough one"

E...Effects

"God of all compassion, Father of all goodness....when weakness causes discouragement, let Your compassion fill us with Hope.....lead to the beauty of Easter joy. Let us keep that in mind, we are praying for Easter joy. That is a particular joy which comes, from us being immersed in the Paschal Mystery. We enter Easter joy, as we leave behind the suffering, and death of the false self. This is a real crucifixion. A crucifixion, where we join The Crucified One, as He went from 'My God my God why have you abandoned me" to “Father into your hands I commit my spirit.” There is no Easter joy apart from that journey with the suffering, historical Jesus. That is how the historical Jesus became the Christ of God. We cannot become Christian, unless we follow Him, whom we have been called to be, to that place of suffering, and death. This suffering like all suffering, is a mystery.

This mystery has a name, it is called the Paschal Mystery. It is an essential part of us, who are called Christian. This is what Our Baptism call really means for us, on a daily basis. It is only on a daily basis we can enter into and gradually understand this mystery. This will lead us to gain a personal insight as to how we are living out this mystery. You have heard the saying "Life is not a problem to be solved, it is a mystery to be lived". This why we have Lent. This mystery is so vast, and personal, we spend 40 days (LENT) preparing ourselves to celebrate the Paschal mystery. We will take three full days to celebrate [Tridium]. Then we will have another 50 days to come to a new, and more life-giving understanding, as how we encounter that reality, in the reality of our everyday living.

The Paschal Mystery is about death, dying, and entering NEW life. In is not the same as terminal, death. In terminal death, there is death, once, forever. Paschal death, on the other hand is a death we enter again, and again. The pain goes deeper, and the new life we are led to becomes more and more joyous, not necessarily happier. That sounds weird? I have had a great deal of trouble becoming reconciled with that one. I have come to the belief, that it is true. All our pain and suffering, is actually the suffering of Christ, within you and I. Our God suffers in us, through us, and with us. We NEVER suffer alone. We may think it, we may feel it, but at our deepest reality, it is God and us who are doing the suffering. The suffering of the MAN-GOD, led to a new life so our association with Him, and our participation with Him leads us also to a new and transformed life. The pain of death gives way to new life. The pain is not really a death pain it is a life giving pain. It is the birthing pain of you and I, as we enter into the reality of who we really are, in God's plan. This is the pain of the desert journey. The pain of the desert journey leads to the far greater pain of Gethsemane. It was there that Jesus in His loneliness and fear asks that the chalice he will have to drink of, would be taken from Him. We were there in that suffering. We were also present in His body in the excruciating pain of the abandonment of the cross. We were there in His body, so now as we continue the suffering of Christ as His body, He suffers with us. Where He was, we are, where we are so He is. Mystery, to be not understood, but entered into with reverence.

The prayer of this week provides us with the strengthening hope necessary for this journey. Our journey into death, dying, and rising to new life in and with our Savior, Jesus Christ. For me, this is one of the greatest prayers of the whole year. Type it out, and place it in a place you can see it on a daily basis. Say it and reflect on it each and every day. Why? Because it is in our everyday living we constantly encounter the reality of the mystery, so it is each and every day we need this great reassuring gift.

"May our faith, hope, and love, turn
Hatred to love, conflict to peace,
death to eternal life.

This then is the other, "E", of desert. This “E” stands for EFFECTS. Our desert journey brings about, a radical change within you and I. It is a real encounter, with all that it means to be a limited human being, in the crucible, of our every day living. This can and does, when allowed, bring to you and I a peace which is beyond all understanding. We are led through the many deaths, we endure in our daily living, to the real life of our union with Christ. This life reveals a new light into the sacramentality of every moment. This daily encounter with the sacred in each and every person place and event (sacrament) will bring home to us, the great love our God has for us. This love will come to us, not in the people, or places we expect, but in the persons and places we least expect. The Spirit of The RISEN blows where it wills, and we will gradually, and oh so gradually, come to see and accept that reality.

S... Selfishness...Self-centeredness

“Let us pray for confidence in the love of God and the strength to overcome all our weakness. Father, you have taught us to overcome our sins by prayer, fasting, and works of mercy. When we are discouraged by our weakness, give us confidence in your love.”

This is the opening prayer of this weekend's Mass. How appropriate for this time of Lent when we will be led, by the scriptures, to face the fact that all of us, yes, all of us, are sinners. We have sinned and will in the future sin, again and again. We are in constant need of conversion, and renewal. That is why we have this season of Lent, every year. In Arizona, we have that rite of Spring-Spring Training. Is it because the players have forgotten how to play the game? Of course not. This is the opportunity to get back to basics and practice them again, again, and again, until they become automatic. Then in the heat of a pressure game, they do not have to think of what to do, it comes automatically. That triple play is practiced over and over. We, in the spiritual life, have a triple play as well, it is called prayer, fasting, and alms giving. This triple play is given to us so when we will face the triple threat of "the toxic trinity" (guilt, fear, and shame), we will not have to think, we will have the inner strength, to respond in a spiritually healthy way. In prayer, we will be led, by grace, to an ever-deepening belief that we are the beloved. Nothing that we can or will do, can change that reality. This is a gift that is offered to us, let us pray for the acceptance of that gift. It is in this acceptance our lives have changed by God’s grace not by us.

Lent leads us beyond the guilt, fear, and shame of our sins. We will be led from discouragement to the confidence in the prodigal, extravagant, reckless love our gracious God has for you and I. That is a choice we have to make, not each and every day, no, that choice is made each and every MOMENT. Yes, each and every, NOW moment we are going to be life-givers to ourselves, and a consequence to others. We can also, by our now decisions, be death-dealers to ourselves, and others. We will always see others through the lens of our reality, just as others do not see or cannot see us, except through their reality.
That is very freeing. This brings to the Question, through what lens does God see us? I go back to this prayer of Thomas Merton again, and again;

“Oh great God, Father of all, Whose infinite light is darkness to me, Whose immensity is to me as the void, You have called me forth out of Yourself because you love me in Yourself, and I am a transient expression of Your inexhaustible and eternal reality. If I could not know You, I would be lost in this darkness, I would fall away from You into this void and if You did not hold me to Yourself in the Heart Your only begotten son. Father I love You whom I do not know, and I embrace You whom I do not see, and I abandon myself to You…because Your love in me Your only begotten son. You see Him in me, You embrace Him in me, because He has willed to identify Himself completely with me by that love which has brought Him to death, for me, on the cross…You have willed to see me only in Him, but in willing this You have willed to see me more really as I am for the sinful self is not my real self, it is not the self You have wanted for me, only the self that I have wanted for myself. And, I no longer want this false self. But now Father, I come to You in your Son’s self for it is in His Sacred Heart that He has taken possession of me and destroyed my sins and it is He who presents me to you. And where? In the sanctuary of His own Heart.?”

That prayer is, for me, a great source of hope and encouragement as I face those tough, confronting words of,1JOHN:8,10,
" If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us...If we say we have not sinned, we make HIM a liar, and His Word is not in us.”

In Lent, we also pray this prayer, “We are to master our sinfulness and conquer our pride". Easier said than done. During our Lenten journey, we have to face the facts that we are selfish and self-centered. We are caught up in what the "I" wants, rather than what God wants for us, and from us. Sin is saying "NO" to God's love and yes to the love of self, which is opposed, and in conflict with God's love for us. We get caught up in control, comparison, and competition, and lose sight of the fact that which is essential, is FREE. This is the "S" of DESERT. It is a real encounter with our powerlessness to do anything that is good. We ALWAYS need grace, and apart from grace nothing of any spiritual value can be accomplished by us. The ONLY thing we have to offer to God, which is all of our own doing is, our sins. This is hard to accept. Acceptance is essential for spiritual growth.
Peter van Breemen writes the following,

"A life without acceptance is a life in which the most basic human need goes unfulfilled. Acceptance means that though there is need for growth I am not forced. I do not have to be the person I am not. Acceptance liberates everything that is in me. Only when I am loved in that deep sense of complete acceptance can I really be myself."

For myself, I do not find acceptance very easy. For me, acceptance can be summed up in my accepting of the fact that I am not accepting, and, that will be on a good day! I have to grow in the acceptance of the unconditioned, unrestricted, unlimited love I am loved with as the beloved. Why? Because NO ONE PERSON in this life, no matter how they wish or how they try cannot make that happen. I will through grace, that mysterious love, of our LOVER GOD can become a deeper reality in our hearts, souls, minds. Henri Nouwen reminds us of what Christ is telling us;

"You have a home....I am your home..claim me as your home....I am where you are..in your innermost being...in your heart."

This then must be or Lenten focus. Not on our faults and failings, but on God's faithful love for us. Acceptance of this love will allow us to be at home. At home in our reality, so when the Lord comes and knocks, we are going to open the door of our soul to the Good Shepherd who has come to claim one of His lost sheep.

“The Lord IS my shepherd, I shall not want, I shall not fear, I will be lead to green pastures, where I will find rest.”

A peaceful rest which comes to me to me when I stop the struggling for power, property, and prestige and surrender to all that is offered, without cost, in that sacred place we call the, "right now'.

E...Encounter

Lent is a season of grace. In the season, we will be offered the grace we need to face, and name the lie. We will be given the strength to reject the lie, about face and follow the truth, no matter how difficult it is.
As someone once said, “the truth will set you free, but first, it will tee you off”. The truth will have to become bad news, before it can, under grace, become good news for us, as well as for others. The good news is ALWAYS given, to be shared. Life, God, will present us with the person, or persons, that needs that particular gift we have just been given. The ways of God are truly mysterious.

On our Lenten journey, we have to pay special attention to the commands, "You are to love your neighbor, as you love yourself”,
"love your enemy" [Jesus Chris], "kiss the leper within", St. Francis. On the desert journey we will discover parts of ourselves, we wish were not there. We will say, “how can something like that be really part of me?”. In the desert we will have to face, within us, every sin another can commit. Blessed Mother Teresa, discovered, above all people, Hitler, to be alive and well within her. What humility she had to have to, first of all - to admit, and then reveal, such a reality. William Johnson in one of his books, warns us as we journey within, we encounter within ourselves each any every sin another human being can commit. We are then led to pray with what one saint said "there go I, but for the grace of God”. This is real death and resurrection work. It is here, that the rubber really hits the road. This is where one of the great movements of the spiritual life takes place; we move from hostility to hospitality [the other two are from loneliness to solitude, illusion to prayer]. That is taken from Henri Nouwen’s book “REACHING OUT". This is a movement we will experience every day. We are destined not to stay in any one place.

When we are in one place, we have to say, “this too shall pass”, even when we are in the best place possible, we have to say “this too shall pass”. Remember on Mount Tabor, when St. Peter wanted to stay, Jesus says “O'K, this is good, but let’s move on”. This is a good time to remind ourselves, success teaches us NOTHING, about the deep realities, of the spiritual life. It is ALWAYS failure, that is our teacher. We are asked to be taught to reflect the understanding of death and resurrection in our daily lives and living. In order to understand, may I suggest a lens, through which to look at the "lenting", of our daily living. In other words, the "H...O...W" of Lent 2010.

H.....HONESTY...HOSTILITY.. HOSPITALITY.
The Lenten journey challenges us to honesty. Honesty, in some instances often leads to hostility. From the hostility, that can be engendered, we are to open ourselves up to the prodigal love, of our gracious Father. Through the mysterious movement of His grace and Love, we will be led across the threshold of guilt, fear, and shame, to the place where all things have been made new. This will be like a flash of lightening which lightens up the darkened sky, and blinds us because of its brilliance. That flash of lightening cannot be planned . It will come in our darkest hour, and at a time and in a place we least expect. God's ways are truly not our ways. Would it not be a lot easier if God would do it our way rather that His way?

O....OWN. . .OWNERSHIP.
The spiritual way demands of us that we take ownership of who we are, and what we doing or not doing. We have to embrace the place of rebellion. Painful, and humbling, though it may be. Correction is painful and humbling. "NO PAIN NO GAIN". It will lead to a new level of powerlessness, where all we can do, is cry out to That which is greater than us. Our Savior God and Father, as revealed in the Paschal Mystery of our fellow human being, Jesus. This Jesus became The Christ, only through His death and resurrection. We become an authentic Christian only when we follow in His footsteps.

W.....Welcome.
We slowly, and sometimes with a lot of fear and mistrust, welcome the love of God. This mysterious love is infinitely greater than any love we have experienced, or can imagine. This is particularly true when we are in a place of shame, loathing, and self rejection. Where there is no love, sow love, and we will find, not only love, but live, new life. Not only new life, but a life beyond our wildest dreams. This DOES NOT happen overnight. It is a long process. During this process, we can, and will, get discouraged. It is then that we truly know what powerlessness is. We are now ready for a Savior who will take our trembling hand in His pierced hand. Together we journey into the dawning light of a new day. This day, it is our experience of the resurrected life that is our destiny. AWE-FULL??????

I hope, and pray, these few words will encourage, strengthen, and console you, as you make your desert journey, this week. This week we will continue our encounter with the demons of our desert. That is the "E" of desert, for this year. In our desert, we experience our many demons. Three of the toughest to face are what I call the "the toxic trinity, namely; guilt, fear, and shame. They want, to it put very bluntly, to destroy you and I. They are death dealers, and life destroyers. There is NO life giving quality, about these deceivers. I addressed these three last year. So, if you are new to the blog, I would encourage you, no I beg you, to go back and slowly read what was written last year. These three, like all of our demons, are not to be faced alone. When these are faced alone, they chew us up and spit us out. These have to be brought to, and encountered in prayer. In isolation, we are powerless. In prayer, we are powered with the power of God. In this experience, we discover what Fr. Rohr preaches-the powerlessness of power and the power of powerlessness. When we encounter these demons in isolation, we will live our lives believing we are "less than", and "not good enough" to name just some of the lies we accept as truth. We will join the others who believe in the same lies. The result is a life, if you want to call it a life, that our God does not want us to lead or live. We have to choose to reject the lies of the "toxic trinity", so we can enjoy the joy-full, life giving, and life enhancing freedom, as the beloved daughter and son of our gracious Father.

This is another reminder of God's dream for you and I. That is- the Aisling of God we are invited to, are living out each day, when we so choose. As we make our Lenten journey, and are “Lented”, we will come to, in the words of Thomas Merton, “the center of our nothingness where, in apparent DESPAIR, one meets God -and is found completely in His mercy". That is pretty good, isn’t it???? Hold the phone…. it is going to get better. Merton also has this to say,

"At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and illusion,
a point of pure truth, a point or spark which belongs entirely to God......this little point.......
is the pure glory of God in us....
It is like a pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light OF HEAVEN.
IT IS IN EVERYBODY"

D...Demanding...Disarming...Dismantling

We all have heard the expression, "be careful what you pray for, you may get it', well, that goes double for this weekend's opening prayer. We will pray

"Father, through our observance of Lent, help us to understand the meaning of your Son's death and resurrection, and teach us to reflect it in our lives."

We must ALWAYS keep before us, the fact that, Lent is EVERY day. We must also remember that Easter is everyday as well. What we are doing during these days is just focusing deeper on, an everyday reality. We take 40 days to focus on a deeper level, that which is our reality 24/7. Each and every day, we, just like Jesus had to do, face the temptations that come with us being spiritual beings, having a human experience. These temptations come to us through the people, places, and events of our daily living. We cannot avoid temptation, all we are called to do is to say, "No". We must also remember temptation, is, NOT, a sin. [Our thoughts, feelings, emotions are not sin.] We are never alone in temptation, all our fellow human beings are going through the same struggle. It is great to know, that there is no one who is exempt, not even Jesus Himself. We all have to face the struggle that comes with encountering evil, disguised as apparent good. That is what sin is, the reaching out to the apparent good, only to find out, what the scriptures reminds of "angels of darkness, do appear as angels of light". We must always be cognoscente of the fact, we will NEVER do anything that at that MOMENT did not appear to us to be good. We have done things that five seconds later, “not a good decision:, five days later, “a bad decision”, five years later, “how could I have done something like that?”. We are all in the same boat, and through the mercy of God, it is not the Titanic!!! To help us make the right, and healthy decisions, we come with that, which when listened to, will always lead us in the right road. It is called conscience. We are obliged to have an informed conscience, that is one guided by The Truth, not what we would like it to be, but the real truth. It is formed in us, through the power of the Spirit of Truth. That formation, IS a life-long process. That same Holy Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, is the same power we are offered to enable us to make healthy decisions, and so, make a good decision. The Holy Spirit is given to us as our guide, and Comforter.

A guide, can only be an effective guide, only when listened to, and his advice is followed. The season of Lent is given to us so we can take an honest look, that is an HONEST look at our lives. Honesty is tough. It is difficult to face. That is why we need enemies, they tell us, with great glee, I might add, what our friends will not tell us, but we need to hear. Honesty is tough, and disarming.
It takes away all illusions. It is essential for spiritual growth.

Thank God, it is progressive. What we can handle will be revealed to us, what would overwhelm us will be held back until a later time. How good our God is, and how merciful. In Lent we are asked to take a look at our lives, in a way most of us never do during the rest of the year. We are not only asked to take a look at our actions. We are also asked to do something which is really difficult, we must take a look at the MOTIVES, behind the actions, nasty. This honesty will challenge us to stop scapegoating others. We have to accept the fact that we cannot blame others for what are our actions. The classics are;

You make me angry.....
You make sad...
You make me drink...
You make me use drugs..
You make me gamble..
You made me have an affair..

That list goes on and on. Also "you made me do…" has to go as well. As I said, honesty is tough, disarming and dismantling. Honesty reveals to you and I, a nakedness we would prefer not to look at. We see how Jesus was also stripped naked and then was crucified. We have to look at ourselves through the new lens of honesty and come to admit we have been looking for love in all the wrong places. There must be a change. The great challenge is to accept the fact that we do NOT choose the change, it is the Holy Spirit who will lead us to our unique way of renewal, repentance, and conversion. So there is no need to check what others are doing for Lent, they are not you. The Holy Spirit is meeting them, and working with them in their own reality. We all need to be converted.

Conversion means turning around, yes, make a U-EE. God loves people that make U-EES. We turn around from the direction we are headed. We begin the great journey, the great quest, to discover what we have been looking for on the outside, has all the time been hidden inside of us. This reality has been waiting to be discovered, and wait for this, to be loved by us into existence. Real happiness, comes to us when we respond to the courage given, and admit to the lie we have been believing and living. We stop buying into someone else’s lie, and, yes, even to the point of risking losing them out of our lives. Then we will know, "a new freedom and a new happiness”. It will be a happiness we will not be able to explain, so do not waste the energy. What you can do, is enjoy and celebrate so that others will see and be drawn to the source, Our heavenly Father.

“There is a beauty that has suffered its way through the ache of desolation until the words are music emerged to equal the hunger and desperation of the human heart.” John O’Donohue

“Through love and prayer are learned in the now when prayer becomes impossible and your heart turns to stone.” Thomas Merton

D...E...S...E...R...T

"How blest are the poor in spirit for there is the Kingdom of Heaven", Matthew. "Blessed are you poor; the reign of God IS yours", Luke.
Wednesday will be Ash Wednesday. The beginning of Lent. Lent brings with it, the invitation to again join Jesus on His journey into the desert, so that when we find ourselves in our desert experience, there find we WILL find Jesus journeying with us. We will find in the person of Jesus Christ, both a companion, and a shepherd. On reflection we will come to see, that it is within the desert journey the strength of The Good Shepherd, is really revealed to you, and I. He, because of His desert experience, will and does accompany us, on our journey. He will not only be the companion we so desperately need, He will be our guide, and strengthening presence. We will enter the desert again, and again, on this our human experience as spiritual beings. We must remember there is never anything in the spiritual life once forever. How I wish that was not so!

From my many hikes and personal journeys in the desert, the following thoughts have bubbled up. I now see that word broken down as follows.
D....demanding....disarming....dismantling
E....encounter
S... selfishness...self-centeredness
E....effecting in
R....radical
T....transformation....transfiguration.

"God makes ALL things work together for good"????

This then, is how I have come to see, and believe what the desert is all about. Jesus was led, according to one writer, he was driven into the desert according to another author, what is important, He ended up in the desert. His ancestors in faith, who are our ancestors in faith as well, were led into the desert. They were led into the desert, on their way out of slavery, into the freedom of the promised land. We must always keep before ourselves that sequence of
events. God's own chosen people were in slavery. In order to be freed from that state, where there was some, and only some security, they had to do what? They had to leave that state and enter the insecurity, and uncertainty of the wilderness. This led them to many trials, and temptations. The desert wilderness was for them, as it is for us, a place, and a process of purgation, and purification. A process which led them ultimately, to an ever deepening belief, and understanding of who they were as The Chosen People of God. I have read that some authors look at the desert journey, as a courting effort on the part of God. What a courting that turned out to be. Then Shakespeare says, 'all is well that ends well".

The journey of the chosen people of the Old Covenant, is now the journey of us who are the chosen people on the new covenant of grace.
We are Always on some part of the journey. On the journey, we will either find ourselves in the slavery of sin, or journeying in the desert, or enjoying the promises of the promised land. Again and again we encounter the different aspects of the original journey. Because of our humanity, we have to be reminded again and again, of all the different, and somewhat difficult aspects of what is our present day journey, from slavery, to the desert, to the promised land.

Lent 2010 will become our first Lenten journey as we are today. We will journey through familiar places, mysteriously for the first time. There will be feelings of consolation and desolation, comfort and discomfort, security and anxiety, as we are guided through a landscape, "so ancient and so new". Through all of this we will have that carrot of the scriptures held out ever before us, how blessed are the poor in spirit, the kingdom of God is yours now. The promised land is in the here and now. We for our part must have, or develop an attitude which will empower us to make this Lent ,not only our first Lent but our most meaningful one. We are going to enter again the Paschal Mystery, to become enlightened, enlivened, radically changed, resulting in each one being transformed, and transfigured, into a more authentic presence of the Risen Christ. This is who we are called to be.

Next week, we have a look at the attitude we must allow ourselves to adopt for a meaningful yet uncomfortable Lenten journey. Warning...letting go, is NOT easy.!!!!

Good News...Bad News...Good News...

This year, we will become aware of the fact, that the Gospel readings will be taken mainly from the writings of St. Luke. What a gift, what a blessing, this is going to be for us who are broken, bruised, and weakened from our human experience as spiritual beings. The Gospel of Luke is also called the Gospel of the poor. Looking at this Gospel, through the lens of our brokenness and poverty, will offer to you and I great hope and consolation. It will enlighten and enliven the spirit within us. That is why it is also called the Gospel of the Holy Spirit. Gospel, means good news, right? There is a snag to that, and here it is . You see “the good news has to become bad news before it can become good news”.
Eugene LaVerdiere has this to say in his book on the Gospel of Luke, (The book is called "Luke").

“Luke’s narrative of the story of Jesus can be summarized as a human life and the message of the son of God. In view of the disciples association with Jesus, it can also be seen as a human life and message of those who share in His divine friendship.”

The message, and the ministry, of Jesus Christ, can best be summed up in the words of Jesus Himself, which are found in the fourth chapter
of Luke. This is how The Jesus of Luke, describes His mission and ministry "The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed me to bring glad tidings to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives and recover of sight for the blind, to let the oppressed go free." You and I then have the same mission. We are called to the vocation of being that presence, which He has described. A tall order, for us ALONE , yes, but we are not alone. We have within us, the same Spirit, who descended on Jesus at the Jordan, and raised Him from the dead . That is what it means to be Baptized.

We may well ask the question, “where do I have to go to find that poor person, the prisoner in captivity, that person who needs sight to really see reality, and lastly the oppressed one aching for freedom?”. You and I have to look no further than the mirror. That person, who so desperately needs to hear the good news is both waiting on, and wanting the Good news, is within you and I. We have to begin our ministry to the suffering one, that is the suffering Christ, within ourselves first. We then will be able to be an authentic presence of Him, who has called and chosen us for this vocation from all of eternity. This is who we are, who we have been called to be, and now it is time to acknowledge who has done the calling. On reflection, this reality makes each one of us, someone very special, in God's universal plan.

Last, but in no way least, what we do to the poor one, we are doing it for Christ, The Christ within, check Matt 25. As we are led deeper within ourselves, and there is no result until we go deep, (this week’s Gospel) we will be led to an encounter with the good news . This is the Good News, you are loved as you are, no questions are asked. It is not only you who is suffering, Christ has joined you, and IS suffering within you, through you, and with you. So, then the opening prayer of this week’s Mass is really true, "no tear goes unheeded'. Why that is so simple! When you cry, Christ cries in you and with you. How can God not pay attention to the cries and tears of His beloved Son.

The bad news is, there will always be some part of ourselves, we will find it hard and difficult, to bring the good news to. Why? As I reach out in compassionate understanding I am tacitly accepting what I have up to now, that is rejected or denied. From this place we pray "out of the depths of my fear, anger and shame I cry out you my Savior God. I alone cannot face this part of me, I need your grace, I need your help to discover the reality of you within this place of me". The secret place is now exposed, and merciful love, now begins to flow. The threshold into freedom has been crossed. We are now the incarnation of the good news in this. So then, we now have the experience of good news becoming bad news so it can become good news.

“We are as sick as we are secret.” [John Barryman]

"Where there is no love, sew love, and, you will find love." [St. John of the Cross]

Our Weakness...God's Opportunity

This is the continuation of the reflection of the opening prayer, of the Third Sunday Of Ordinary Time, begun last week. This week, we pick up the prayer, was we pray,

"So that the limits of our faults and weaknesses may not obscure the vision of Your Glory or keep us from the peace you have promised."

Our Father-God is Always faithful to His promises. God never reneges on His promises. We as human beings, on the other hand, come up short again and again. We are told what we have in our everyday experience that is what we have with God, we therefore expect God to do the same. He cannot. God has to be forever faithful to his promises, because He has to be faithful to Himself. We are His Beloved forever, and, for always. We are His 'delight', and nothing we can ever do, will be able to change that. We may forget, or better, we will forget who we are. God can never forget who He is, and who we are, in His love. The scriptures are given to us, to remind us remind of the fact, "it is not that I love God but that he loves me, it is not that I give love, but that I accept it. We then, need to be reminded, again and again, our faults and weaknesses not only do not get in the way of God's love for us, they actually reveal how deep and mind-blowing that love is. Yes, indeed it is, mystery. Each and every time we are drawn into the mystery of our God's gracious love and mercy, we are further enlightened, and enlivened, for the continuation of the journey. We are forced to ask the question, "can it really be this good?" The answer is "yes", and what is more amazing, it is better than we can ever imagine. That is the reason I like to repeat, over and over the great words of Henri Nouwen:

"God's mercy is greater than our sins. There is an awareness of sin that does not lead to God but to self-pre-occupation. Our temptation is to be so impressed by our sins and failings and so overwhelmed by our lack of generosity that we get stuck in a paralyzing guilt. It is the guilt that says: "I am too sinful to deserve God's mercy." It is the guilt that leads to introspection instead of directing our eyes to God. It is the guilt that has become an idol and therefore a form of pride. Lent is the time to break down this idol and to direct our attention to our loving Lord. The question is: "Are we like Judas, who was so overcome by his sin that he could not
believe in God's mercy any longer and hanged himself, or are we like Peter who returned to his Lord with repentance and cried bitterly for his sins? "The season of Lent, during which winter and spring struggle with each other for dominance, helps us in a special way to cry out for God's mercy."

So then, our sins, faults, and apparent weaknesses are actually the
opportunities we afford God to be the God Jesus Christ came to reveal to us. Our God has a great love for us. A love we will never realize until and unless we begin to grow in the acceptance of our faults and weaknesses. A love that is freely offered, and a love that waits to be accepted. Is it always accepted? I am sorry to say, no. We make the mistake of keeping our eyes on the sin , fault, weakness, and never lift our eyes to the merciful, compassionate gaze of our Lover.

New Freedom...Deeper Happiness

The opening prayer of this weekend's Mass, can be seen as the continuation of the thought of the opening prayer of last week's celebration. Last week's prayer was an expression in the belief, as all prayer is, "that even the tension and tragedies of sin cannot frustrate the loving plans of our Father God". (We must always remember our God ONLY has loving plans for you and I. Because of the nature of God, because of who He is, it cannot be otherwise). This week, that thought is taken further. This week we express our belief in the fact that the love our Father God offers to us always, that is ALWAYS, exceeds the furthest expression of our human longing. Why is this so?

Because our God IS greater than our human heart. Yes, that is a fact, a reality, we must always keep before us, and never lose sight of. Easy to say, but so hard to do. Whatever we think, whatever we say, whatever we feel, even whatever we know, is NOT God. God is always more.

"Direct each thought, each effort of our lives.." This is where the Holy Spirit comes in. The Holy Spirit will give us the strength, the guidance, to make good decisions, to do good deeds, but will not do the action for us. God's love for us is so great we are always free to say yes or to say no. God is...

G...good,
O...orderly,
D...direction,

Yet we are always free to respond, with or "yes" or "no", otherwise we are not human. We then will have to do the footwork, we will have to put forth the effort, but in the long run we want God to be God. We will have to surrender to the good orderly direction, and so become who Our God has chosen us to be from all of eternity, the co-creators ,and co-perfectors of His creation. What a dignity has been bestowed on us. In order to fulfill our vocation we will have to make good healthy decisions, for ourselves first, so we can have healthy relationships with those who share our journey. Last, but in no way least, we must have a healthy respect and reverence for the creation we are privileged to be the guests of. That is right, "we have not here a lasting city", this is our temporary home. Just because it our temporary home, this does not afford us the right to trash, use, and abuse it. WE must keep before us this is going to be the dwelling place of our Beloved sisters and brothers, yet to be born. In spite of our best efforts, and our best intentions we come up short again, and again. You and I will be found wanting. Around the 30 year mark we have to face some difficult home truths. We are not the best at anything. To make matters worse, all of our plans have either come up short, or have not worked at all. That is GREAT, (spiritually speaking) because we are forced to accept ourselves as regular human beings, and in doing so, discover for ourselves a Savior. A Savior who was ever and always present, but never called on, or welcomed into our daily living. That has to change.

The change begins, in our 30s. It is then we wake up to the fact our plans have not worked out the way we expected them to work out. We can become angry and resentful, as the result of our expectations. They are after all just PLANNED resentments. Is that the only choice we have ? Thank God it is not. We have another choice to make. This choice, I have to warn you, is not made without a great deal of struggle. That is why this choice is the result of grace, not human effort. Through the journey of the 30s we are GENTLY lead, to the realization we are after all, what God intended us to be, wait for it, spiritual beings having a human experience. We will slowly come to this acceptance, and so be lead to a new and deeper freedom, enjoying a level of happiness we never thought was possible. God's way is definitely, not our way, and our way is not His way until there is that great change of heart, we call conversion. Conversion is, a new way of looking at the same reality. Our new vision comes to us through the lens of God's love, revealed to us through the life, mission, and ministry of Jesus Christ, the Incarnation of God's love, within the human condition. He has come to set the captive in each one of us free. This will not happen without our help, permission and
cooperation.

Here are the questions we all need to face:

What is the part of us we have placed in prison?
What is the part, you and I are punishing?
What is the part that is hidden away in the prison of guilt, and shame?
It is to that part of us, to that person in each one of us, to that place in each one of us that the Jesus Christ, of Luke's Gospel, is speaking to this weekend. Not only this weekend, but each and any every moment we, as spiritual beings continue on our journey within the human condition.

Next week will be a continuation of the reflection on the prayer, as we deal with so called human faults, and weaknesses.

"In my deepest wounds, I see your glory and it dazzles me." St. Augustine.

A dreamer's journey continues.......

Our First Love...

Whether we want to call it, two thousand and ten, or twenty ten, a new decade, and a new year, is here for both you, and I. We will make the choice, again and again, each day to live, to celebrate this new time given to us. We will make this new time, Kairos time. We will learn to live life , not just survive life. Pope John 23rd, once said "We are not on earth as museum keepers, but to cultivate a flourishing garden"

That which will help us cultivate a colorful, vibrant, vital, verdant
garden, is a positive response to the council of Henri Nouwen, that we claim this fact, again, again, and again, "I am the beloved". Yes, this very simple practice IS, life changing. Then in time, you will find yourself being led to the understanding, that love is not just, an idea, or concept, rather love becomes for us a 'lived experience'.

Nouwen prays as following, "O,Lord....We can only love each other because you have loved us first. Let us know that first love so we can see all human love as a reflection of a greater love, a love without condition or limitation." (Our first LOVE)

The great challenge for us then, is to love as we have been loved. IN this we always are coming up short, we are not divine, we are human, and by nature limited. To love as we have first been loved, we must be connected to that FIRST LOVE. That is why we have the sacraments of Word & Eucharist and Reconciliation.(Confession). These sacraments are offered to us, so we can have life, and have it to the fullest. When we either avoid, or deny ourselves this Source of Life we should not be surprised, when we find our lives empty, disconnected, and lifeless. We are now left to depend on second love, which by it's very nature cannot do what The First Love has already done.The memory of The First Love is always with us. It cannot be replaced, no matter how hard we may try. To expect that to happen, is, to court disaster. We all have gone down that path, and the result is addiction, alienation, discouragement, and entrance into many, many other places of darkness.

This can look and sound very bleak?? Yes!! It does. This is where the great gift of faith comes in. You see we have to learn, and what a difficult thing it is to learn, faith IS not faith until and unless it is the only thing we have to hang on to. This brings me to the opening prayer of this, the second week in Ordinary time. What great encouragement, what great hope, what great strength is offered to you and I, in these words.

'Almighty and ever present Father, your watchful care reaches from end to end and orders all things in such power that even the tensions the tragedies of sin CANNOT FRUSTRATE your loving plan. Help us to embrace your will, give us the strength to follow your call, so that YOUR truth may live in our hearts and reflect peace to those who believe in your love.'

The tragedy of Haiti is so present before us. These, our suffering sisters and brothers, must be uppermost in our thoughts, and in our prayers. We must also bring to prayer the parts of our world that have crumbled, or are beginning to crumble.
God does NNNOOOTTT intend this to happen. What will He do? He will take the rubble of our lives, and through His power, and our cooperation, give to us things we could never imagine. Okay, let us all say together,

I, BELIEVE LORD, HELP MY DISBELIEF.

The dreamer's journey continues....