"The Father of orphans and the Defender of widows is God, in His  holy dwelling. God gives a home to the forsaken." Psalm 68.

"Come, O Holy Spirit, come, strengthen, and inspire the heart of this faithless one." (hij)

"The pivotal shift in spirituality's meaning for the twentieth century is the birth of a worldview of interdependence or relationality. In the broadest sense,... spirituality is the relational component of lived experience." Katherine Zappone.

"The Father of orphans and the Defender of widows is God, in His holy dwelling." We are blessed (?) to be challenged by today's worldview; it reveals that our Prodigal Father God is not tucked away in His comfortable Heaven. She/He finds a permanent home in the tabernacle within our depths. It is NOT one person of the Holy Trinity who is present as our guest: all Three are making Their dwelling in that same tabernacle made of frail human flesh. A tabernacle that was created, fashioned in eternity, and now has found enfleshed presence in today's cosmic reality. There is never a moment that we are not bearing that tabernacle; as we go, where we go, so goes the tabernacle. We were created in eternity, and for eternity we will be bonded.

Just mere existence is not enough for us to fulfill the destiny that has been chosen for us. We have to come alive. "The glory of God is the human being fully alive" (St. Irenaeus). We must pray for the courage to embrace the mystical and cosmic paths that have been chosen for us. They have been created to be essential for the Divine Creative Plan to find perfect completion. Our constant prayer of surrender to The Plan is, "Not my will, but Your will be done." As we continue "to trudge the path," we are actually in the process of accepting those words. Process is not an event. "We do not think our way into a new way of acting; we ACT our way into a new way of thinking." So sad, but unfortunately, all too true.

I have serious problems with constantly attending to what is happening in my life and the challenges it presents. Here are some thoughts that are bubbling up. They are disjointed, unattached to what is being reflected on, but are real for frail, and becoming more frail, powerless Joe.  As a person advances along the calendar of finite time, one's ability to exercise self-will becomes less of a challenge. The desire to have one's own way, no matter the cost, remains strong and in some areas stronger. Thanks to the blessing of old age, we cannot carry on the fight for any length of time.

"Every blessing is a curse; every curse is a blessing." Acceptance of that reality sure eases the burden of the journey. The resulting anger and frustration are tough to own but necessary for our evolving relationships both with humanity and the cosmos. Let us pray that we will respond to the grace that will lead us through challenging, dark valleys and transforming mountaintop experiences always safely and gently. We are always ,beloved daughters/sons, who are always abiding in an unconditioned love that cannot  be earned, deserved,  or qualified  for. It is a pure gift. It is grace, also understood as The Prodigal Lover, in action.

This  Prodigal Cosmic Lover loves the littlest ant, the most alienated person, both within our perception, and society's prejudiced eyes. The existential challenge is how we are to work for change. Change within ourselves, which will then help change the lens of a dysfunctional current society. Change is always slow, and difficult. Well, that has been, and my past experience. My current experience. sad to say, is no different. That is why my mantra ,"Come Holy Spirit come and change  my hardened heart" is prayed, repeatedly Ever make an effort to change the mind of an older person ? well I am considered to be, a senior, senior, senior citizen. Welcome to my reality. By the way it is awaiting all who are privileged to reach, the so called, The Golden years !!!!!!

As you read the  first sentences, what struck you, What emerged from your depths, from your deepest reality? Is that not the quiet workings of The Holy Trinity, always existing and celebrating in the tabernacle of your uniqueness ?  How personal did you allow those enlightening and life giving to become ? Did the thought, hit you, despite the always slow reaction to, uncomfortable challenges,  of how personal that first quote from Scripture is?  The Father of orphans, The Defender of widows, IS presently at home.  His Holy dwelling, in today's reality, IS EACH ONE OF US.  We have been chosen, from eternity, to be the dwelling place of The Creative Spirit, and Family, Within our individual and collective depths lies the answer(s) to all the challenges provided ourselves, and  to the collective, the cosmic. The Creative Spirit always uses human instrumentality, to achieve the fulfillment of creation's destiny. Mary's place ???

         The above words, are to be, actually consciously encountered with deep reverence, not just glance at. As a result,  may todays "widows and orphans", the powerless, the disenfranchised, the marginalized, the rejects of polite society become the place where, acceptance and Samaritan care, is offered, by us, and others. The resulting, cost ?  That will be personal for each one. Prepared to pay ?

  " May your prayer of listening, be deepen enough to hear in the depths, the laughter of The Divine"

Toxic Trinity

Our God will never allow us to face a challenge alone, unless of course we exercise our God given free will and reject, turn our back on his grace, help, love. It is essential we keep before us the great gifts offered to us to strengthen us to face the challenge of the here and now living. Celtic spirituality offers us some wonderful prayers that can be strength for our journey. The first is from Lorica - known as "The Deer's Cry",

I arise to-day.
Through a mighty strength,
The invocation of the trinity
Through belief in the threeness
through confession of the oneness
of the Creator of Creation
I arise to-day
through God's strength to pilot me;
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear to me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,

Another prayer I like;

Your eyes are watchful,
your ears are listening,
your lips are speaking,
friend at my side.

With all of that, upper-most in our minds, we can now journey into the territory of the toxic-trinity; guilt, fear and shame. This week, we will take a look at guilt, which Erma Bombeck said, "Is a gift that keeps on giving".
Healthy guilt enables us to say, "I made a mistake and I need to make amends, I need to change this behavior". There is also the guilt that we hang onto - never forgetting, never forgiving. It becomes a toxic presence in our spiritual life. We are told that our Jewish brothers and sisters discovered guilt, but Catholics perfected it. I am sorry to say there was a huge assist given in this effort by the Irish monks. John O'Donohoe in his book, Eternal Echoes has written the following; please read it slowly and reflectively;

"Sometimes, we feel guilty about things in the past that should hold no guilt for us. Because we feel bad about something, we exaggerate our part in it and retrospectively ascribe more power and freedom to ourselves than we actually had in the actual situation."

Guilt belongs to the past and the past is over and gone. We have the consoling words from Psalm 103, "As far as the East is from the West, so far, have I put your sins behind you". Do we believe God or not? "When personal guilt in relation to a past event becomes a continuous cloud over your life, your locked in a mental prison. You have become your own jailer." Although you should never erase your responsibility for the past, when you make your past your jailer, you distroy your future. It is such a great moment of liberation when you begin to forgive yourself, let the burden go and walk out into a new path of promise and possibility. Self-compassion is a wonderful gift to give yourself. You should never reduce the mystery and expanse of your presence to a haunted fixation with something that you did or you did not do."

To learn the art of integrating your faults is to begin a journey of healing on which you will regain your pose and find new creativity. You soul is more immense than any one moment or event in your past. When you allow guilt to fester and reduce you like this, it has little to do with guilt. The guilt is only an uncomfortable but convenient excuse for your fear of growth. Guilt then has to do with self-forgiveness. In the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I have come across so many people who have never forgiven themselves. They have placed themselves in the prison of guilt and shame. Guilt is "I made mistake and I need to change and in some cases make amends" shame is "I am a mistake and I need to be punished". When we do not want to forgive ourselves, that is pride. Pride in the fact that somehow our sin is too big for God's love, his compassion and his forgiveness. We are told today the way we forgive ourselves is the way we allow to forgive us. If I never hear myself say, "I forgive you Joe", how am I going to believe God when He says, I forgive you and I have placed your sins behind you. Isn't there a reason then, that Russeau can, "Man was born free, yet everywhere where I look, I see him in chains."

Many people do not forgive themselves for some action in the present or actions in the past. Whether it is the stealing, the lying, the cheating, the lack of respect for parents and authority figures, premarital sex, adultery, or abortion. You can also carry a burden of guilt not because of an action, but because of your non-action at a crucial juncture. If you had had the vision or courage to say or do something, then someone else might have been spared great pain. (Anam Cara) Once you began to see what your failure to act actually allowed, you feel guilt and shame. Somewhere we need to be able to say, “I forgive you.” We need to bring our guilt and shame to the Sacrament of Reconciliation and then accept the words that we are forgiven. This forgiveness, God’s forgiveness, will depend so much on how we forgive ourselves. Lack of forgiveness will deprive us of enjoying God's gift of forgiveness. Forgiveness is God's gift to us. We must impart the gift of reconciliation to ourselves. Reconciliation is a process not an event. It is a lifelong journey because of the experience of being human.

To help us the journey into reconciliation, it is very helpful to write, not type, a letter of understanding and forgiveness to yourself for the actions of the past which we are finding hard to accept and forgive now. With understanding comes forgiveness. To help us with understanding we need to go back and place ourselves in thoes events and circumstances which are causing us difficulty right now. We are told in philosophy the object of the senses is good. We will never do anything that at the moment of doing does not appear to be good. Five second, five minutes, fives days, fives years later, we see that was not the best decision, but it was the best decision at the time we performed the actions.
We did our best, not, the best in those situations. Again, with understanding comes forgiveness. Hindsight is always 20/20. We can judge ourselves harshly in our 30’s and our 40’s, about actions we did in our teens and 20’s. We need compassion, not condemnation. In Anam Cara on page 117, we read, “Every person has certain qualities or presence in their heart that are awkward, disturbing, and negative. One of your sacred duties is to exercise kindness toward them. In a sense, you are called to be a loving parent to your delinquent qualities.” After you write your letter of forgiveness, burn it, not tear it up, burn it.

So let us use the season of Lent to deal with the guilt of the past and impart in ourselves the gift of forgiveness, reconciliation and freedom. Let us bestow on ourselves the gift of compassion. So we can enjoy God’s gift of compassion and understanding. Paul tells us in Corinthians, “Love is patient, Love is kind, Love takes no offense and is not resentful.” Let us use this season of Lent, to put those four aspects of Love into our daily life, into our daily living. We will then walk beyond guilt, and fear, into freedom and a transformed sense of who we are in God's love. Our goal is always to be able to love ourselves as God loves us. When we do not forgive ourselves, in other words, allow God's forgiveness to penetrate into what can be harden heart. It is wonderful to keep in front of us the following words of Henri J. M. Nouwe;

“God’s mercy is greater than our sins. There is an awareness of sin that does not lead to God but to self-pre-occupation. Our temptation is to be so impressed by our sins and failings and so overwhelmed by our lack of generosity that we get stuck in a paralyzing guilt. It is the guilt that says: “I am too sinful to deserve God’s mercy.” It is the guilt that leads to introspection instead of directing our eyes to God. It is the guilt that has become an idol and therefore a form of pride. Lent is the time to break down this idol and to direct our attention to our loving Lord. The question is: “Are we like Judas, who was so overcome by his sin that he could not believe in God’s mercy any longer and hanged himself, or are we like Peter who returned to his Lord with repentance and cried bitterly for his sins?” The season of Lent, during which winter and spring struggle with each other for dominance, helps us in a special way to cry out for God’s mercy.”

When we have a God of mercy we have a loving God. In fact we have a God that is prodigal in His love for us. He is reckless, extravagant with the merciful love He offers to you and I in each and every moment in our journey to Him and with Him. Conversely, if we do not have a God of mercy, or worse still when we see ourselves as not needing a God of mercy, there is a kind of hell have we placed ourselves in and then blamed others and God for it.

Let us remove the stumping block of guilt so we can see deeper into the cave of our soul where the presence of God is always there to forgive, to reconcile and impart in us the gift of freedom, the gift of new life which will enable us to live more deeply what is ours because of our Baptsim. Please love yourself enough to give yourself this gift of forgiveness. Only you can allow yourself to enjoy the gift of forgiveness already offered to you by your God. Psalm 103, "As far as the East is from the West, so far have I put your sins behind you." In the Old Testament we are told in Isaih, "You have thrown my sins over your shoulder". The following is a quotatation written by Merton to Henri Nouwen, which many people have embraced resulting in a new freedom and a new happiness. "At the center of our being a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and by illusion, a point of pure faith, a point or mark which belongs entirely to God...this little point...is a pure glory of God in us...it is life pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of Heaven. It is in everybody."

Our God and Father is a God who is prodigal in His love for us. Let us give ourselves the freedom to leave behind the prison of guilt, so we can walk more freely knowing His eyes are watching, His ears are listening and we truly have a Friend by our side. A Friend who will never leave us or abandon us.

God Bless,Fr. Joe