Light
comes and goes. Now we see it, now we don't. But what is our memory of The
Light, Whose appearance we celebrated just a few short weeks ago? Compared to
The Light, all other lights are like comparing
the flickering light of a candle to the
dazzlingly brilliant, blinding
light of the sun. That comparison falls so short of the reality. We have
the same problem when we want to speak of The Light, whose entrance into our
world we celebrated, in faith-filled prayer-filled celebrations. What has been,
left us with now that The Epiphany is only a memory, and a vague one at that or
is it still lighting our way??? What is our understanding now of that great
feast of which The Season of Christmas is seen as a "bridge toward?"
Where is That Light leading us to, or have we out of fear substituted,
substitute lights? Are we now leading lives of greater freedom, or are we
enclosed in the security of our self-made prisons? Have we become the victims
of accepted behavior rather than the right behavior? Have we allowed ourselves
to camouflage our true reality, and surrender our freedom to the hellish
practice of people pleasing? What a price we pay for that so readily accepted
behavior??? The truth WILL set us free. We in turn will draw others, indeed may
force them, into the freeing light, and the safety of the real truth. Illusion
is a very lonely place to dwell in. Merton has this warning for you and I:
"If I allow myself to degenerate into the being I am imagined to be by
other men, God will have to say to me, "I know you not." Prayer from
the gut works. It comes the reality God knows and sustains in existence.
Here is a little something to
practice. Before you answer a phone call, respond to an email, or any other
communication requiring you to do something, say the following at least 10-20
times:" I release the need I have to be admired." You will be doing a
quarter of what you are doing now. Your ego will not like it. You will not be
caught up in doing. The true self that will emerge from this practice will enjoy
an inner-peace and a sense of well-being that cannot be bought. This is
priceless. What do you pay, NOTHING. It cannot be bought. It is pure gift. Yet
there are so few who are prepared to do that nothing, which will bestow upon
them everything that they need. In the long run it comes down to our trust in
the essential goodness of our Prodigal Lover.
Our inner-truth is hard to face. Our
inner-reality we much prefer to either hide or deny. We want to keep ourselves
in darkness rather than risk exposing ourselves to the piercing light of the
truth. Yet there can be no spiritual journey unless we are prepared to be led
into the depths of who we are. Oh how often I have wished this was not so.
Thank God, the journey into a healthy honesty is ongoing. We will never have
absolute honesty. The goal is to be as honest as one can be in this present
moment. Whatever bubbles up will not overcome us. Since God, Higher Power,
Savior, is present in fullness we will have what we need to face that which
left to ourselves we could not deal with. We have that great certainty that
nothing will be revealed that God, Higher Power, Great Spirit and we cannot
face and deal with. We will NEVER be tested beyond our strength.(Paul). So when
we journey within, we will encounter our innate poverty stemming from our
broken humanity. We will encounter a hungry, naked, homeless, wandering, stranger
that is in desperate need of food, shelter,
clothing, a comforting home. After the initial shock, the initial desire to
reject, something happens. How it happens is none of our business. We are in
the mysterious realm of Grace. We are not in the business of understanding, an
ego trip, we are drawn to a slow gradual acceptance. An acceptance that will be
given, as a gift, to each one of us in a unique way. This gift appears as we,
not only encounter, but journey with, as of now, the frightening stranger.
The gifts we are given, are of
necessity, given to be given away. If they are not given away they disappear.
"Whatever we keep for ourselves we lose, whatever we give away we keep,"
This is the danger we have to face. Now we can read, listen to, and eventually
hear the words of the prophet Isaiah as he relays to us this command from our
God: "Share your bread with the hungry, shelter the homeless; clothe the
naked when you see them, and do not turn your back on your own. Then your light
shall break forth like the dawn, and your wound shall be quickly healed."
What a great promise is contained in those words. Our wounds will be quickly healed
as we make that inner journey of discovery and encounter. As the healing power
of Grace-full mercy slowly works, and believe me it is slow, we get an inkling
of what is to come. We are now more ready to meet the stranger and are not afraid.
Why? May I suggest it is because we have met another, stranger. We have met, and
are continuing to encounter the inner stranger. From that encounter and the
continuous deepening conversation, through grace, a sense of welcome and
hospitality is now replacing the old fear. The life of, and the workings of
grace is a mystery. Then we slowly realize "The place of the wound, becomes
the place of the gift. The greater the wound the greater the gift." WOW!
As we are again clothed with
the dignity of being the beloved daughter/son, we recognize more readily the
innate goodness of all people, and all of creation. That part of us that we
once oppressed is now sensitive to others who are the victims of oppression.
They are to be called to the freedom that is theirs because of their
belovedness. Belovedness can never be taken away. It can at times be denied but
never surrendered. Why? It is not ours to surrender. This is God's gift over
which we have NO control. All we can do is surrender to the embrace of The
Prodigal God, Who is our Beloved, and is revealed to by The Light. There is a
process to that surrender. I/we do not surrender once forever. Nothing in the
spiritual life is done once forever. When I found that out, the hard way, I
was, and still am a very unhappy camper. Then acceptance is a process, not an
event. This, however, is a reality I do not have to like, just accept. So easy
to say, or write, yet so difficult in practice.
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