Acceptance is tough, hard and difficult, but it is the only real road, to an ever-deepening spiritual life. Acceptance of who we really are, is first and foremost a process. A process we all, at least for me, we will make every effort to avoid. I am wondering out loud here, is this the reason there is so little use being made of the Sacrament of Reconciliation? We are told reconciliation with who we are, is a process as well. The one gift that can make these two processes worthwhile, however painful, is gut honesty. We grow slowly in that deep honesty of who we really are. This process is made somewhat easier when we have a person in our lives, who bestows unconditioned, unlimited, and unrestricted love on us, especially in times when we have abandoned who we are, out of toxic shame. That toxic shame wants to give the message, which is contrary to our deepest reality. The message of toxic shame is we are not good enough, we are not smart enough, we are not beautiful enough, and blah, blah, blah.....All of that is a LIE, and the source of the lie is 'the father of all lies - Satan". When we listen to the voice of toxic shame, we are giving ear to The Devil, rather than to the voice of the Spirit of Truth. This Voice of God then, because God IS Truth, tells us from deep within that we are loved as we are, without condition, restriction or reservation. This battle wages on and on and on. It is our every moment, daily struggle. We have to make this choice, each and every moment, am I the beloved, with all that it means, or will I be duped into the lie I am not, and never will be good enough? This question lies ever before you and I. Will I work on being spiritually healthy, and live a life of freedom as the beloved daughter/son, or will I live out my life in the unmitigated hell of being spiritually sick? The popular word for that today is, being codependent. This will mean what? Simple, I will choose to live out my God given life, not with the real God as my guide, I have replaced that God with the dis-eased view of a limited human being.
A healthy relationship is always pointing to THE LOVE relationship between us and God. It is to bring the freedom, peace, love, joy, and happiness is a by-product of this mysterious reality. Yes!! Happiness is a by-product. A healthy relationship is the cocoon from which emerges the wonder-full, beautiful butterfly, which is who we are in God's love. The butterfly is destined to fly free, that is our destiny as well. Does it always happen for us? No, sad to say it does not. Never fear, we are given what it takes to fly free, it is the ability to make healthy choices. There are times when we will have to let go of controlling people in our lives, so we can walk in the freedom of who we really are. WE will have to establish boundaries, with individuals who have no concept of boundaries. We will have to say "I love you but I cannot have you in my life", and stick with that decision despite all the efforts of friends, and FAMILY. I recommend the book, "Boundaries”. If you do not like to read, go to a bookstore and read the chapter beginning on page 103. That will give you great permission to live your new life of freedom, which is God's wish for you. Then read the chapter, beginning on page 83, and see what message is there for you. By the way, there is also another life changing book by the same authors, Cloud & Townsend, this is called “Boundaries with Kids". After this, your kids will not allow you to read this blog any more. Guess what? You will not pay any attention to them, Why? Simply put, there is a new sheriff in town. I am reminded of a cartoon I had on my office door at St. A's. There was this man speaking to a woman, saying the following; "I liked you better, before you learned to love yourself".
To further enhance you and your freedom, the following was gifted to me by a dear friend, and I want to share it. It is from who else?
On Second thought...this is long enough, I will save it for next week.