The.......... Paschal........Mystery.....Just For Now.

We are now living our lives in the liturgical season of Easter time. This is a time, an opportunity, that is offered to us so we can be led deeper into a more meaning-full, and life enhancing understanding of The Paschal Mystery. This transformative process will only take place insofar as we welcome the mysterious workings of grace. Because it is a mystery, we will never fully understand what has happened, is happening, and will continue to happen in the depths of who we are. All I can say for certain is the following, The Paschal Mystery is alive and well and is the source of constant spiritual renewal. There is a constant Spring time, always blossoming forth, ever new. Renewal, however, always brings with it, a challenge. In order to be renewed we have to let go of something familiar, so that an evolving newness may  be revealed to us. I was a long way down the trail before this became a lived reality. Just because I was not aware of it,  that did not mean it was not happening. So much has happened in the living out of the fullness of the Paschal Mystery, that I was not aware of. I had to be enlightened. This is why an ever evolving understanding of the Sacrament of Baptism is essential. It is essential for growth, and the source of the courage to grow. It takes real courage, real guts to grow into a healthy spiritual being. I am far from it. Do not think that just because I write something then I have it, or practice it in my everyday life. Being able to write offers a great challenge to become what I write. Jesus Christ, and His way of living is the ideal I am striving to replicate, all the while knowing that I will ever and always fall terribly short. All I can have is the desire to follow in The Footsteps, knowing that He fell three times on the way to His crucifixion, and death. Falling is an essential part of the journey. I must get up again, and again. The getting up is not through any power of mine. The desire, the subsequent grace, the necessary power comes graciously from the constant giving hands of my Prodigal, Mercy-full, Compassionate, Lover.

          I am again, and again, forced to rethink and come to an ever new understanding of the Sacrament of Baptism. I was delighted to know that in the early days of the church Baptism was looked on as the Sacrament of "illumination." From my own journey, I find that I am in constant need of illumination. I need a light, and as I am getting older, a deeper brighter light. I need that ever so bright light to shed  ever new so as to  light up the place I am hiking/journeying through in the right now. I am, ever and always, in deep need. The Light illuminates all of my reality,  so that all that is being offered to me, in the "right now," is brought to consciousness. My need for light has been answered when the gift of The Light, was bestowed upon me in Baptism. The Light will light the way to an ever new understanding of the ancient Paschal Mystery. Since The Light is infinite, there will be no ending to the newness of understanding that will be offered. It is like peeling an onion. Layer after layer is revealed, and has to be dealt with. How often I have wished for an ending to this process of renewal, and transformation. It gets too much for the I, the ego. The ego gets scared by its lack of power and the journey into  uncertainty. There are times when I have to say ,"enough is enough," why can't all of this just stop, right here and now? That occurs when the light is so bright that it appears to the naked eye that there is darkness all around. It seems to me now, that as long as I have breath, this process will be a lived reality. A reality, I have to depend on grace, to embrace. Thank God, I do not have to like any of this. I have been taught, over time, that  it is not about liking, it is about acceptance. And acceptance is a process. To help with the process of acceptance I am assured, told that God will never allow us to be tested beyond our strengths ? Well I have to remind God  of the fact that He has more faith in me than I have in myself. So lighten up. A prayer that is not always answered. "Out of the depths I cry out to you O Lord, Lord hear my prayer," that works when prayed from the depths of emptiness, and powerlessness." O God come to my assistance. O, Lord make haste to help me" is another spiritual bromide for the upsets that are a guarantee.

                   "The Paschal Mystery, is a process of transformation within which we are given both new light and a new spirit. It begins with suffering and death, moves on to the reception of new life, spends some time grieving the old and adjusting to the new, and finally, ONLY after the old life has been truly let go of, is a new spirit given for the life we are already living." ( The Holy Longing) These words have been a great source of challenge and encouragement, for myself and many others. Each one has to own their own unique immersion into the Paschal Mystery. Jesus, Who became The Christ, through His Paschal journey is the example we have to follow. He journeyed once, forever, through the events we celebrate each and every year, and are lived each and every, now moment. These paschal events we LIVE each and every day. These every day events of ours, are  to joined with The Paschal Lamb's infinite sufferings, when we celebrate each and every Eucharist. Because of our Baptism we all share in the priesthood of Jesus Christ. So every Eucharist is our participation in The Royal Priesthood. The only challenge we face is, that our Eucharist will only be alive only insofar as we make a conscious connection between life lived, and Eucharist celebrated. When this happens we have "liturgy without soul." To make this connection is not easy. It is hard work. That is why liturgy is called, "the work of the people." It takes effort, and time to connect our lived reality, with the reality of The Paschal mystery. If that connection is not made, or chosen not to be made, then we are choosing to live a life of isolation, and alienation. There is nothing worse than being in pain and feeling so very much alone. The reality is however, to believe one is really alone is to believe a lie. We may, and do feel alone, we may even think we are alone, but we are never alone. So says our baptism. The "illumination" coming with baptism reveals to us that we are the Body Of Christ, in a very mysterious sense. So as we suffer, so is Christ suffering in us, through us, and with us. Just as when Jesus Christ suffered we suffered in Him. In the life of the spirit there is no time and space.

                           Ever think about writing your paschal story? Ever think of writing your gospel? Well you do write a gospel with the daily actions of your journey to your God and with your God. Although unrecorded, your Gospel may be the only sacred book some people will ever get to read!!! Our gospel would be so  difficult to write, as it  would involve deep, deep honesty. We do speak about gospel truth??  We would have to get honest about all the sufferings of our lives. There are sufferings some have chosen to block out, deny, and suppress. This can last only for so long. Eventually they have to be dealt with. When a person is on the road to living a healthy spiritual life, and as a consequence, has the desire to live in freedom and not fear, roadblocks will be encountered. The roadblocks will be placed by people we would least expect to be a hindrance to growth. The family secret must be kept hidden at all costs, even if there is death involved. The Paschal Mystery teaches us this hard, and difficult wisdom, it is only through death can new life becomes a reality."Unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies it remains just a grain of wheat but if it dies ..." We will have to choose to die, again and again, so that the full potentiality of who we are really called to be, is realized. This birthing of who we really are comes through a constant immersion into the pain and suffering, and into the subsequent  joy and freedom. There is no other way of coming to  have life, and have it to the fullest.                 

"The...... Paschal.....Mystery.....and.....The.... Beyond.

"The Paschal Mystery and Beyond" is my choice for the heading of this blog. Usually I write and then reflect on what the heading should be. Over these many years those two words, "the beyond," have led to a lot of reflective thought.  It started way back when I challenged those preparing for the seven ritual sacraments to be prepared to live outwardly, the new and different life that had taken root within. If there is no thought given to the "beyond "why receive the Sacrament?  It is in the living of the "beyond," that the newness is revealed. What has brought about this "newness of life"? Our encounter with the living Person of Our Lord, and Savior, Jesus the Christ. Our faith teaches us that in each and every encounter with The Risen Christ ,we are being transformed into being His living presence. This miracle of grace does not happen with just one encounter. It has to be repeated again and again. When you are preparing Easter eggs, you do not just dip the egg once into the dye, right? You dip, and dip, and dip, and then dip some more. We are not transformed, or transfigured by just one encounter with The Risen Lord. The process takes a whole lifetime as we respond to the challenge that comes with the reception of each ritual sacraments. We slowly grow into an ever deepening understanding of what it means to receive the seven sacraments.  And not only to receive the sacrament, but to come to live more fully, the life we are now called to live. WE are to be "the contemporary Christ," How often is there time spent reflecting on Who it is we have encountered, and Who it is we are now called to be, as a result of this encounter. If there is no intention of being transformed into the living Presence of The Risen Christ, we will never fulfill the great dream, the aisling, our God has for us, and has had from all of eternity. We are no surprise to God. In The Sacrament of Baptism we begin our initiation into the Paschal Mystery of Jesus, The Christ. It is an initiation into a mystery, that we will live daily, and never quite understand. Our life's experience will lead us into an ever new understanding of our participation in The Paschal Mystery. We will, again and again be drawn into the understanding that our suffering is the continuation of Christ's suffering. Christ's suffering lead to death, Resurrection, and new life, so too, for us, new life will appear in the same place where death was experienced. This endless cycle of death and rebirth into new life, is the destiny, the vocation, for those  who are chosen. The mysterious action of saving grace will keep us in wonderment our whole life long. Wonder leads to prayer. I cannot help but think about all that Henri Nouwen had to go through to be able to write the following? What were the "beyonds" that had to be journeyed to and through, so that he was able to gift us with (this is Jesus Christ speaking to you and I):  "I am your God, I have molded you with my hands, and I love what I have made.  I love you with a love that knows no limits, because I love you as I love myself.  Do not run away from me.  Come back to me--not once, not twice, but always. You are my child. How can you doubt that I will embrace you again?  I am your God--the God of mercy and compassion, the God of pardon and love, the God of tenderness and care. Please do not say that I have given up on you.  It is not true.  I so much want you to be close to me.  I know all your thoughts.  I hear all your words.  I see all your actions.  Because you are beautiful, made in my image, an expression of my most intimate love, do not judge yourself.  Do not condemn yourself.  Do not reject yourself.  Let my love reveal to you your own beauty, a beauty that you have lost sight of, but which will become visible to you again in the light of my mercy.  Let me wipe your tears, and whisper in your ear, "I love you, I love you."                      The only response to those wonder-full words is silence. They are too much for us. They speak the truth, but can we hear, listen, and embrace these radical, life enhancing words?  It is difficult, is it not, they are just too good to  believe?  We are told if something is too good, we are not to be taken in, we are to run away from it.  God knows that and asks us "not to run away" from His/Her infinite, prodigal love.  Now do this.  Go back and read the words again, but insert your name before "I am." You are now going to pray; John, Pat, Pablo, Lupe, Maria…I am your God..." Read the words slowly and allow them to penetrate into the depths.  In the depths  where they will encounter The Blessed Trinity Who dwells eternally in those same depths.  The result, a party, a celebration that has no end in this life. This celebration will continue into eternity, and through all of eternity.  As we celebrate in the here  and now, so will our eternity be.  Now that is downright scary.  So we need to heed the call of our Initiation.  We must of necessity, seek out and search out all that is ours because of our Encounter with The Paschal Mystery, and allow ourselves to be drawn beyond ourselves. We spend forty days to prepare for this mystery and then spend three full days in celebration .  We are now in the 50 days it will take us to delve into what this mystery means, as we live out our daily lives. Each, and every action will reveal to you and me, some aspect of the dying, burial, rising, and Ascension, of Our Living Lord. There is no event or action that is neutral.  All have sacramental value.  This will reveal to us a new way of living.  To complete Paschal Mystery, we ask for the Spirit for this new, never before lived life.  This takes us to the beyond.  This takes us to the land of ever newness.  In this land of "ever newness" the truth of Henri's words will become a lived experience.  There will always forces in our lives that want to prevent this happening.  They are doing the devil's work.  Satan, "the prosecuting attorney," will do all in his power to trigger our denial  of who we are in God's love. He has his agents.  They are the ones who are so ready to judge, to condemn, to punish, when we do not measure up to their stringent rules. They are today's Pharisees.  They are encountered both within and outside.  Their voices are never still.  So we are called to be vigilant, ever vigilant.  Just as The Prophet Jesus had trouble with them, so we too, as followers of Him today, will have the same trouble.  They were nasty then, and they are nasty now.  To make matters worse they give you the idea they are speaking for God.  But it is not the compassionate, mercy-full God of Jesus Christ.  We have met Him above, and He/She is a God of life, not death.  The Pharisee(s) create an array of idols, false gods.  They create idols.  Idols that are made in their image and likeness.  These idols do not give life, they only destroy.  The living God of Jesus Christ wants to bestow life on us, and bestow it in abundance. We have that battle of the voices of negativity each and every moment we are given to live.  The quality of my life will depend on which voice I am listening to and responding to.  We have been given The Paraclete, The Defense Attorney, who never tires of defending us, so we will never have to face any attack on our own, or by ourselves.  May each reception of The Ritual Sacraments lead us always beyond our fears, to the discovery of the newness of the life our God has wished for each one.  May the reality, the certainty of "the beyond" bring an ever deepening sense of awe and  wonder, leading to an ever present excitement for the journey to our God, and with our God.

                                                              
                      

The…Paschal Mystery…Never…Ends

The Paschal Mystery transforms, transfigures and leads us, always, into a new and different way of living. It bestows on us the great gift of hope, that death is not,  "the final word on life or despair the final days of human beings."[Boff] As we make our journey into the light of the resurrection, we will be led again and again to the understanding that out of all of our pain, sorrow, and brokenness, comes new life and wonderful gifts. We will be led to the belief that the "greater the wound, the greater the pain…the greater the gift." That is why each year, we are "dipped and dyed" in the Paschal Mystery to be awakened and to celebrate the new life that has come to us from what we thought was death. Death is never the end, it is always the beginning.

The Paschal Mystery is first and foremost a mystery. This mystery teaches that with every beginning there is an ending and with every ending there is a new beginning. It is a mystery dealing with the deepest working of God's grace. A mystery dealing with death, burial and new life. A spiritual mystery such as this cannot be explained, it can only be entered into and treated with reverence. I would like to suggest this year, more than ever, we need to open ourselves up to what this week offers in the way of hope, consolation and the promise of radical new life. This will come to us through the power of honesty, honesty about our everyday experience. There can be no spiritual growth unless we are developing a progressive honesty which is about embracing what is real. Where there is no honesty, there is no reality. So, there is no God. When we want to get a grip on reality and the Pascal Mystery within us, here are a number of words you and I cannot have in our vocabulary, the following are many words which have no connection with reality:  could, would, should, what if, if, if only, when, ought, try, interesting, or any similar words used to deny our real feelings and our real emotions.

A number of years ago,  I read a book by Fr. Ronald Holheiser which enabled me to enter into a new and better life-giving understanding of what the Paschal Mystery is all about. In his book, The Holy Longing, he explains the difference between terminal death and Pascal death. "Terminal death is a death that ends life and then possibility. Paschal death, like terminal death, is real, however, Pascal death is a death that, while ending one kind of life, opens a person undergoing it to receive a deeper and richer form of life. The image of the grain of wheat falling into the ground and dying so as to produce new life is an image of Pascal death. Then resurrected life...is the reception of a radically new life... The Pascal Mystery is about Paschal death and resurrected life."

Continuing on, in the same chapter entitled "The Spirituality of the Paschal Mystery", we read the following:

The Pascal Mystery might be diagrammed as follows:
1) Good Friday..."the loss of life-real death"
2) Easter Sunday..."the reception of new life"
3) The Forty Days..."a time for readjustment to the new, and grieving the old"
4) Ascension..."letting go of the old and letting it bless you, the refusal to claim"
5) Pentecost..."the reception of new spirit, for the new life that one is already living"

Put into a more colloquial language and stated as personal Pascal challenge for each one of us, one might recap this diagram this way:
1) "Name of your death"
2) "Claim your birth"
3) "Grieve what you have lost and adjust to the new reality"
4) "Do not cling to the old, let it ascend and give you its blessing"
5) "Accept the spirit of the life that you are in fact living"

This cycle is not something we must undergo just once...It is rather something we must undergo daily, in every aspect of our lives. Christ spoke of many deaths, of daily deaths and of many risings and various Pentecosts. The Paschal Mystery is the secret to life. Ultimately, our happiness depends upon properly undergoing it... Unless we die in infancy, we will have many deaths in our lives and within each one of these we must receive new life and new spirit. Daily we must undergo the Pascal Mystery.

In her book, Little Pieces of Light, Sister Joyce has this to say, "Being able to let go and let God take over one's life demands a tremendous amount of trust in this Divine Companion. Thomas Merton writes that, 'True love and prayer are really learned in the hour when prayer becomes impossible and your heart turns to stone'. It is in within the hour of our greatest darkness that we discovered that we are never really alone. It is a time when we learn to trust as Gods love is much more than we ever imagined." This gives us the great freedom to be able to sing our Hallelujahs with real gusto. Death has turned into life. Christ is risen and is alive within you and me.

"O happy fault of Adam that has revealed to us such a God."

Lent…2014…A…Real…Homecoming???

There was a great, heartwarming, news story in the paper. The remains of a fallen soldier, long dead but never forgotten, was definitely identified. From present day advances in DNA technology the remains were able to be identified as…who sacrificed his life during World War II. As a result, his remains will now be buried with his relatives. He will have finally come home, after an absence of 70 years. That is one long journey. That demands a great deal of courageous waiting. After 70 years of absence, there were waiting for him his loved and dear ones. They were there to welcome home, the one who left so that their homes could remain intact, and free. We must never take freedom for granted. It must be fought for, again and again. Real freedom is not free. A price must always be paid. The greater the freedom, the greater the price. How blessed humanity has been with great prophets, both male and female, who have envisioned freedom. They were heroes/heroines not for just one people but for all of humankind. To this can be added, that challenging statement, “as long as one person remains oppressed, then we all are oppressed.” Is it now becoming more and more evident, we are not to live our lives in isolation, but in community, in oneness. God loves a loving, life giving and life affirming community. This Family, whose essence is love we name it ,The Holy Trinity.
Eternal Light, Life, and Love, inter-relate eternally and so the process of creation continues, and of necessity must continue. It is not for us to decide how, it is for us to trust, to hope and believe in the essential goodness of The Creator God. This is where prayer comes in, and especially the prayer of hope. Henri Nouwen has written the following: “For the prayer of hope, it is essential that there are no guarantee asked, no condition posed, and no proofs demanded, only that you expect everything from The other without binding Him in any way. Hope is based on the premise that The Other gives only what is good. Hope includes an openness by which you wait for The Other to make His loving promises come true, even though you may never know when, where or how this might happen.” We are not to make the mistake of thinking we must have the proper words, or expression when we pray. Henri has offered these words of consolation. “We are called (to pray) with our limited means, our stuttering words, and halting expressions. In this way we will come to know in mind and heart the unceasing prayer of God’s Spirit in us. Our many prayers are in fact confessions of our inability to pray. But they are confessions that enable to perceive the merciful presence of God.” Is it not amazing how simple all this is, and complicated humans have made it. I guess our ego needs to complicate this essential act so as to be able to look good doing something “good or great.” The irony is it is grace, love in action, that secretly conspires with life to make the impossible happen. “Of ourselves we can do,” what? Nothing!! If and when anything good happens, it is the result of the mysterious workings of grace. We will get away with the thinking that is solely the result of our efforts things happen. This smugness is going to be blown to hell and back. We will eventually be brought to the point of seeing, it is love and only a loving Higher Power, greater than us, in which this can be accomplished. We will be led to not only see, but come to believe that Love is our place of origin & destiny.
The Loving Eternal Womb is our home, our place of origin. It is also our destiny. To quote Fr.Rohr, “our deepest DNA is divine.” That reality, we must ever and always keep before us. In this way, we will live a life of freedom, not a life of fear. In living the life of being the prodigal daughter/son we will be able to lead others not by just words, but by our actions. Words can be so empty. Actions speak louder than words. We only have to “Be who you already are.” ( Merton ) To be who we already are, is to have journeyed through the desert of fear, addiction, abuse, hatred, jealousy, to the promised land where all CAN be free. To live in the Freedom of being the beloved son/daughter is a choice, we all have to make. Yes! It is an act of faith, not in our own goodness but in the goodness of our Prodigal Mother/Father. No other person can make this leap of faith for us. They can model it for us. Share their experience of it yes, but cannot do it for us. This is a leap we have to take on our own. Yes, we all get to the precipice, facing the abyss of God’s mercy, and ???
Looking back over the years of journey and ministry, I have to admit this fact. Even though this is God’s plan “A” is for us it is not always our first choice. When we do not cooperate, through self will, God has to come with plan “B”, or “C’ or “D.” I know I have run out of the whole alphabet, and am working on the numbers. I have an infinite amount of those to get through. Here I am relying on the Mercy-full Whose love Is Prodigal and the chances stored up, waiting for me, infinite. My sin-full acts are limited. God’s mercy-full is infinite. All our Prodigal Mother/Father does is present us with “mercy, upon mercy, upon mercy, upon mercy.” As Pope Francis is wont to remind us “God never tires of offering forgiveness,” we for our part must ask for the grace to never stop asking. In this way there will be a sort of homecoming for us. We will be able to journey back to the place we started from, and come to know it in a completely new light. So the returning is really “a going forward, a going beyond.” (Nouwen) There is now a newness, an excitement, that heralds a Spring Season like no other. This happens again, and again. A mysterious process ” ever ancient, ever new.”
As I make the journey to the beyond, my way is brightened with these words of wisdom: “Our temptation in Lent is to be so impressed by our sins and failings and so overwhelmed by our lack of generosity that we get stuck in a paralyzing guilt, a guilt that leads to introspection instead of directing our eyes to God, It is guilt that becomes an idol and a form of pride. But Lent is precisely the time to break down this idol and direct our attention to our loving Lord. The question is: “Are we like Judas, who was so overcome by his sin that he could not believe in God’s mercy any longer and hanged himself? Or are we like Peter who returned to his Lord with repentance and cried bitterly for his sins? This season of Lent, during which winter and spring struggle with each other for dominance, helps us in a special way to cry out for God’s mercy.” Nouwen.

Lent...... Journey.......To.... Reconciliation......&....Renewal

"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas," is a catch phrase we are all now familiar with. It is not the whole truth, however. For the last couple of years, I've enjoyed putting this twist on it. It goes as follows:  "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, until it shows up in Reconciliation (Confession), to be dealt with." We now know nothing that has ever happened to us has actually disappeared into thin air…The effects of each and every word that has been spoken to us, whether life affirming, or death dealing, is carried deep within us. Everything that has happened to us, for good or for ill, has left a residue in the depths of our souls. We have to keep before us this very challenging reality, "what our mind has forgotten, our souls remember." Those memories will have to be dealt with. We can, and do deny, the uncomfortable realities, what is sometimes called the shadow self, namely "the past, the primitive, and the inferior." We will be able to continue in our denial, but only for so long, until one day in some way we will be forced to confront those fear-full, frightening realities, as they are acted out in some destructive act or actions. That which we deny, suppress, sublimate will take a terrific toll on our psychic energy. It takes twice the energy to keep all this "garbage" bottled up, than to engage in the process of confession, reconciliation, and transformation. We must always keep before us that what we have been led into, by grace, is a long progress of reconciliation. This reconciliation process is the journey of whole life long. For us to be spiritually healthy we must accept, not like, this reality. The more we recoil from the honesty required, the greater the price we will have to pay. The choice is ours. Only we, as individuals, can accept, or refuse the priceless gift of liberation which is bestowed upon those who accept the invitation to the ongoing process of confession, reconciliation, and transformation. During these days of Lent there are more opportunities for the celebration of this  Sacrament  which gifts us with peace, and liberation. We are all in desperate need of both.
                          Years ago, I was lucky to be blessed with pearl of wisdom from Fr. Rohr, "it is the Sacrament of Reconciliation, not the Sacrament of obliteration." What a difference that makes as we reflect on the realities of our lives. In the Sacrament of Reconciliation nothing is destroyed, only transformed. This transformation is a new creation of grace. Mercy is at work in the depths of our being, bringing about a new reality. This is a good time to remember the Scripture saying,"behold I make all things new," and we must take the time to reflect on how in the mercy of our Prodigal, Mercy-full, Prodigal father what once was death dealing, is now life giving. We see that "new creation" of which the Scriptures are about, as now part of our reality. We do not know how or when this miracle of grace  happened. All we need to know is that it has happened, the rest, is none of our business. To make it our business is to engage on an ego trip. The more we give into the ego's demands, the deeper we will have to experience purgation. Purgation, the emptying out process of our egos, is never pleasant. It is downright pain-full. It is our lived experience of Calvary, and the Crucifixion. It is our journey, a journey we make again and again, to that place where we cry out: " My God, my God, why have you abandoned and forsaken me." These word of Jesus were the last He spoke, before He experienced the process of resurrection, As it was with Jesus so it has to be with us. That is, if we so choose to be a real disciple, a true follower, our destiny. This is a great place to stop, and reflect on that wonder-full prayer-hymn "Jerusalem my Destiny." (When I first heard "Jerusalem My Destiny" prayed, I fell in love with it. To the chagrin of some I wanted to have it prayed all the time!!! Obviously I am not a liturgist!  A reality that has triggered some real creative conflicts in my years of ministry. I am delighted to say the adventure continues!!!
           Nothing, absolutely nothing, in our lives is outside the realm of God's judgment and mercy. By hiding parts of our story, not only from our own consciousness, but also from God's eye, we claim a divine role for ourselves; we become the judges of our own past and LIMIT MERCY TO OUR FEARS. We disconnect ourselves not only from our own suffering, but also from God's suffering for us. By lifting our pain-full memories out of  the egocentric, individualistic, private sphere, Jesus Christ heals our pain. We connect them with the pain of all humanity, a pain He took upon Himself and transformed. To heal, then, does not primarily mean to take pains away but to reveal that our pains are a part of a greater pain, that our sorrows are part of a greater sorrow, that our experience is part of a greater experience of Him, Whom has said, "But was it not ordained that the Christ should suffer and so enter into the glory of God." ( Henri Nouwen) As it was with Jesus, Who became The Christ so it will be for us, so we can become the sacrament of the Risen Christ. This is what it means to be Baptized. In this Sacrament we are anointed, twice, as an outward sign of the inner reality of our consecration. Our being called, our being and set apart by The Living God to to be the living presence, the living reality of His Son. In this becoming, we are slowly becoming, the reality chosen for us from the beginning of time. It will be insofar as we embrace life, and live it to the fullest in a healthy manner, will we live a life of creative love. We will be "life givers" not "death dealers."
                        The Sacrament of Reconciliation is our ongoing encounter with The Enfleshment of Mercy, The God-man Jesus Christ. Encounter is  of the essence of the seven ritual sacraments. I like to think of a ritual sacrament in the following way. A ritual Sacrament is, an encounter with the living person of Jesus Christ, the result of which change takes place in my life, and that change is brought about by the power of The Holy Spirit. That word encounter seems to be a favorite of Pope Francis, and it must also become a word we are becoming more aware of. In the celebration of Reconciliation we encounter "the living Person of Jesus Christ." There is so much to be reflected on in these five words. Who is this "living Person" you are encountering. How would you describe Jesus as a person, in whose personhood is revealed the Unknown, and the Unknowable? In order to have an encounter there, first of all, must be a living person. That is we have to construct, create a living, walking, talking, laughing, crying, angry, hungry, beaten, broken, betrayed etc. etc., human being. A human being who was "like unto us in every way except sin, and oh how He sought out and loved the sinner. We must keep before us that  the human qualities we attribute to The Historical Jesus, will be the same qualities we will attribute to Our Heavenly father? If we see our God only as an absent God, a transcendent reality, it is incumbent on us to bring about a change in how we see, accept and relate to the human attributes of His Revelation. The words of Anthony Padavono from the 60's ring even truer today "we must make Jesus human, and make ourselves as human as He was.' This of course will take time, and work. A lot of time, and an equal amount of hard work. But, on the other hand, with each Sacramental encounter comes with it this guarantee. Each Sacramental encounter  graces us with necessary grace  needed at that time to be Who we are called to be. We will get all that is needed to be, and be Who we are called to be. We need creative wisdom so as to develop an ever new  understanding of Jesus'  humanity. With this evolving understanding there will appear an ever new, and refreshing relationship not only with our own humanity, but with all of humanity. We will be drawn ever deeper into The Paschal Mystery, and the mystery of our life that is ever and always emerging from our encounter with death. In Reconciliation our ego dies, a pain-full death, when we express our powerlessness over so many aspects of our lives. In that expression of our powerlessness the way is prepared of Him, who is The Way, The Truth, and The Life. The stones of the toxic trinity, guilt, fear, shame, are rolled back so that the fullness of The Resurrection and it's new life may be ours.                

Lent...And...The...Desert...Shepherd.

Lent and "the desert journey" are synonymous.  There is a mystery revealed to us, ever new, as we trudge the days, and the weeks of Lent.  This is a mystery that has been hidden from some, but revealed to those who have been blessed with the courage to leave comfort behind,  and take the risk of entering upon  a desert hike/journey.   As the result of each lived moment we are new.  The grace encountered in each now moment  continues to perfect creation.  We are  all essential parts of this perfecting, while remaining always perfectly, imperfect creation.   With our belief in this process of an ever new creation there comes a great challenge.   We are challenged to leave behind the old.   In more frightening words,  we are challenged to let go, be emptied,  of all that we are certain of, of all that we are secure in, so as to journey into the unknown.   This is a great paradigm for our journey into The Unknown,  and the Unknowable.   All of this newness carries with it a tacit  demand for  a newness within us as well as we enter into, reflect on,  and participate in The Paschal Mystery.   Our Lent 2014 must result in a new way of seeing, that This Mystery we have been Baptized into is not only relevant  but vitalizing, life giving source as we live out, "the here and now."  We will have to reflect on, chew on, become familiar within a new way,  "Now is the acceptable time, now is the time of salvation."   Salvation comes to us as we allow the present moment to be all that it is, nothing more, nothing less.  It is what it is, and it's essential is-ness is hidden and revealed in The Source of all reality.   A moment then, is a sacrament in and through which  all the necessary  grace,  all the strengthening love needed, is channeled into our being.  On our part, we have to develop the trust and faith that IS happening, even though we do not have a clue as to how.   Here is a good place for; " I believe Lord, help my unbelief/disbelief." 

Why then are we invited, not compelled,  by Mother Church to make this yearly journey in faith?   Why is it that once is not enough?   Well, we do not go to school for a day, and then decide not to return anymore.   We have to return again and again so we can GROW in our understanding.   This "growing" is a process, and as such, can be very boring, and uninviting, to say the least.  How many children fight school, and all that it demands of them?   We cannot see the future, so we, as children,  have to trust that what we are asked to do will be beneficial to us in the long run.   Over these many years I have developed a trust in what is taught in The School of Lent.   I have not enjoyed that which I had to go through, but the end result is beyond what one could hope for.   The School  of Lent is situated in the desert.   Not a very inviting place to live in.   Hike in for a limited time, oh! yes, but to live in no.   It is so dry desolate, harsh,  and unforgiving of mistakes.  At the beginning of desert trails, there are a number of warnings posted to draw attention to the dangers that may be encountered.  Yet, how many are drawn to hike, again and again into a place that at first, seems to have nothing to offer?   As a result of constant journeys, hikes, something happens.   The reality behind the desert seems to reach out and embrace us in a very mysterious way.   There is no way to explain it.   Poets, artists, composers,  photographers, have all made attempts, to capture and to convey the essence of the mystery of the desert.   All of necessity have come up short.   I suppose that is why we will continue to read poems, read books, listen to music, take photographs in the vain hope that in some way the mystery of the desert will be at last revealed.   Part of me knows this will never happen.  Yet there is another part that will never stop the seeking and the searching for that which I cannot here describe.   I will, God willing, return again and again to the desert, so as to become more comfortable with the desert within me.   A desert I just do not visit every now and then, but a desert in which "I live and move and have my being,"  My yearly Lenten desert experience somehow offers me that certain something which gives me the courage to journey ever deeper into the all that The Prophet Jesus, was sent to teach.  As I look back on the many, many,  desert journeys again, I shudder, as I have previously shuddered and recoiled from depths of nothingness one is brought to.   

 There is the great consolation knowing that in the desert we are not alone.   In the desert we are NEVER alone.   We read in the scriptures  that Jesus was led, driven, into the desert by the Spirit.  The desert awaited Him to be His place in which He will be tempted.   In the desert, Jesus was tempted to deny His humanity.  In overcoming temptation, Jesus reaffirmed His enfleshment in our humanity.   Our humanity and the humanity of Jesus was the same broken, unredeemed humanity you and I take up each day.  Our Gracious Creator God did not have one humanity for us, but a better and more improved one for His Beloved Son.   We all share a oneness in  having the same humanity.   "Jesus is like unto us in everything, except sin,  and He died because of His love for us sinners.   Jesus was to use His humanity to full fill His appointed mission.   Jesus said that He was to preach good news to the poor.  He was to proclaim liberty to the captives.  He was to proclaim recovery of sight, to the blind.  He was to proclaim, let the captives go free.  He was to proclaim an acceptable year to the Lord."  (Luke 4.  ) All of what He came  to proclaim, and not only to proclaim but to actually physically do,  I need.   That need drives me out to the desert so I can with the mind, heart, and soul of my present being, hear for the first time, that which is from old, and speaks to me in the right now. 

 This Lent I must bring my new found poverty,  which has been revealed through daily living, to Him who embraced all poverty.  To make the necessary room for our poverty The Eternal Word emptied Himself of His Divinity so as to become incarnate in our broken humanity.   He knew from His human experience what it meant to be hungry, to be betrayed, to be beaten, to lose so much as to be existentially broken, and abandoned.   He was so grieved with the loss ofHis friend Lazarus, that He cried.  Jesus also cried over Jerusalem, because of her rejection of Him.   So go out to encounter anew, He Who is the bearer of good and Is The Good News.  I come not to tell Him anything new, but in the owning, and in the telling I receive a new understanding.   In the owning and revelation of my broken, wounded, hardened heart, which feels  like a death, something mysterious happens.  A new understanding will, in time be given.  This gift in time, leads to a new heart.   It will lead to a less hardened heart.  A less judgmental heart.   A more compassionate heart becomes more of a reality from the encounter with Compassion Itself.  The old fears of not being "good enough," of not being worthy of love, slowly give way to a new and a more, healthy, freeing love relationship.  The reality of being the beloved slowly brightens the horizon bring with it the promise of greater joy.   Not happiness, joy is now a choice. 

 When I prepare to go on a desert hike, I have to make sure I have all that is necessary for physical survival.   Water, food,  sunscreen, proper clothing, map, telephone, hat,  good boots,  etc.  are essential for safety.   For the inner desert journey there must be a different mindset.   I am going to encounter The Desert Shepherd, Who IS my only source of real food, and real drink.   He is a living stream that I just do not visit, but I come to understand is the source of life giving water that springs eternal,  deep within.  I come so ashamed of my nakedness, only to be clothed with the dignity of being a fellow beloved son/daughter.  I can now walk unashamed into a freedom hard to understand or explain.   It can only be lived. 
                                                                                                                                                  

Lent.....WHY......AGAIN.....&......AGAIN ....?????

"One and done" applies to some things in our everyday life, but not to our spiritual life. "We never do anything in the spiritual life, once forever" are words written by Fr. Rohr.  Words I read a number of years ago, and their truth has become a pain-full reality. The spiritual life is all about going deeper. We do not dig a hole with one shovel of earth, it takes many, many shovels to get really deep. As this is hard work, so is the spiritual hike/journey a great challenge.  It does not get any easier.  It now appears to me the older I get; the harder I have to work. "one and done" has no place in the process we call the spiritual life. It is all about practice, practice, and then practice some more.

 

Here we have Spring training. The Season of Lent is seen by many as our Spring training. Whether one is a rookie, or a veteran you end up in Spring training, that is if you want to keep your job. Lent, our Spring training is not about keeping one's job, but seeing how one grows into one's calling, one's vocation. Baseball fundamentals are about hitting, fielding, and catching. Lent introduces us to the triple play of prayer, fasting, and works of charity.  There will be time when the baseball player will not return to Spring training, we will never be able to avoid the training process of Lent. Spring training is the preparation necessary for a successful baseball season.  Lent is essential for us to have "life, and have it to the fullest."  The fullness of life however, will come to us through our successes, through our looking good. On the contrary, growth seems to take only through loss, some death, some failure, some great pain.  This is why we must return, again, and again, to and ever deepening understanding of The Paschal Mystery.  The mystery we have been baptized into, but spend our whole lifetime coming to grips with what it means for us as we life our earthly existence. The Latin word for earth is "hummus," so our earthly existence, is our human existence. Not just any human existence. For we are spiritual beings immersed in this human, fleshy, existence.  Lent then, is a process by which we are lead into an ever fuller understanding of who we are, who we have been called to be, and who does the calling.

 

              "We are born human and we spend our whole lifetime coming to understand what, human, means."  This is, as you may well know by now, one of my favorite quotations from Metz's classic "Poverty of Spirit."  I have come to a slow understanding that it is in and the journey through Lent, and the subsequent celebration of The Paschal (Easter) Mystery that the mystery lying deep within is revealed.  This revelation, for me, has not been accompanied with the appearance of angels, warm fuzzy feelings, wonder-full emotional experience, the very opposite has been the case. This journey is a trudge, into uncertainty. "We journey to Him we do not know, by a path we do not know," has been a source of great encouragement on the trudge.  Merton's prayer, "God I have no idea where I am going..." (Google for the rest), is a constant source consolation and courage. It seems that the fuller growth has to be proceeded by an emptying out. This required "emptying out" has been modeled for us by Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He emptied Himself of His divinity so as to be enfleshed in our unredeemed humanity. We are asked to surrender our humanity, and a broken one at that, so as to be filled with the Divine life, The Fullness of life. What a swap?  As usual God comes out at the short end of the exchange. Jesus surrendered everything so as to take on our nothingness.  We are asked to surrender our nothingness so as to be transfigured and transformed into the very presence of God.  What is required of us is that we be willing to allow this miracle of grace to happen. If we are not willing, all we have to do is pray that we become willing to be willing.  This is so simple that it appears to be profound!!! The workings of grace will always take place in such a way that we have no idea of what is happening, or when it happens. It is none of our business.  All we have to do is allow it to happen. Will our egos allow that to happen?  Of course not. The ego wants to know what is happening, how it happens, how LONG it is going to take. The ego wants to confine this miracle of birthing to a reality that can be measured, quantified.  This is NOT going to happen.  We get what we need, when we need it, and at a time that is best for us. It is The Wisdom of God, The Caring Mother, who directs all things in accord with the universal plan of The Creator. A plan that has been hidden, but has also been revealed. Our lives, each one is an essential play, an essential part in this great revealing.  This is the inherent dignity that lies within and revealed through healthy spiritual living. Of ourselves, we are incapable of healthy spiritual living, this gift is bestowed on those who are prepared to pay the price.  We are reminded, again and again, each and every year prayer, fasting, and works of charity take us out of our narrow, ego driven world into the broad, and so wonder-full creation. A creation we have been called to be co-creators of, by The Creator-God. If we are to be creative creators with The Real Creator God, the false gods of our creation must be destroyed. These gods of our ego creation do NOT die easily, so we have been given the Lenten triple play.

 

              "We fast to unite ourselves with the poor-to taste their empty lives, to weep over their sad and hungry children, to feel their helplessness. By fasting and giving alms, by sharing our bread and sheltering the oppressed, we stop "turning our backs on our own." Fasting then unites us with our true family.  We the orphan find our way home. Home is God's family of the entire human race where the MAJORITY GO TO BED HUNGRY.  Along this way the poor, the hungry and the oppressed lift a yoke from our back.  We have been weighed down with the yoke of pride, self-assurance, security and excessive needs. We have been hounded by diets and wasted foods and yet, we are never satisfied.  We carry the yoke of never of always wanting more and needing more....Fasting, by uniting us in the family of the poor teaches us the true value of home life. To be united with the poor is far superior to the most advanced education and certainly to the most elegant entertainment.  Trough fasting the poor lift these yokes of false values off our shoulders...As the poor share with us their sorrow…the poor lead us home mysteriously enough to Jesus. In the desire of Jesus, a new love is born, and love always unites and begets new life. "Biblical Meditation Foe Lent" by Carroll Stuhlmueller.  These are challenging words. Gospel spirituality cuts right to the core of things. That is why we must again and again return to the scriptures of Lent so as to reclaim our original dignity. That dignity as beloved daughter/son may be and is lost to our sight. But NOT from the sight of our Gracious Beloved Prodigal Father.  We are invited to "Come back to Me with all your heart...do not let fear draw us apart...we will live DEEPLY our new life"  A selfish, self serving fear, the opposite of faith, can and does keep us from an ever new, and ever evolving relationship with our Beloved.  We need lent to challenge us to be honest. To face up to the times where we have given into the temptation to follow, and worship at altars of false gods. The creation of our selfish, and self-centered egos are confronted with The Truth revealed in the scriptures. We have so many false gods that we could not confront them all just in one Lent. So we journey again, and again, not alone, never alone into our deserts. We journey to meet our Desert Shepherd who awaits. He awaits us to guide, guard, nourish, and strengthen us as we journey WITH Him to the dark valleys.

 

The…Trudge…To…Freedom…Is…Not…Free

Dawn carries with it a great sense of excitement. An excitement stemming from the coming, promised , guaranteed encounter  with the mystery of The Unknown, and The Unknowable. This encounter will take place in each and every moment we are allowed to draw breath. This will take place in the familiar, and the unfamiliar. We will not be able to schedule this encounter with Mystery. Mystery is revealed in "a time " that is beyond our ability to control. Oh how we as human beings want so desperately to be in control. We want to know the when, the where, and the how. The sad thing is if God does not choose, and God never chooses to fulfill our limited expectations, then we come to the conclusion there must be no God. The God of our narrow understanding, restricted, imprisoned is an idol. Idols cannot can have existence, and do not, nor cannot give life. To believe otherwise is a lie. How many unfortunately do believe in that lie, and as a consequence live lifeless lives. The idols we construct cannot enhance life, they only have the power to destroy life. Idols of our ego's construct do not possess the power to transfigure or transform. Worshiping at their altars always end in destruction and annihilation. This wisdom comes to us the hard way. This  wisdom comes after we foolishly spend many, many, years of seeking The Mystery in the places under our control and direction. Our desire for  control and The Freedom, that Is Mystery are mutually exclusive.  

 

In our 30's we are confronted with a side of ourselves that we much prefer to deny, or at least to ignore. The limitations of our broken humanity become a very stark, naked, reality. So much of what was once hidden, denied, buried now  appears front and center and does not want to go away.  Hence our shadow self, becomes a deeper reality. When we deny our shadow side we endanger  healthy spiritual  growth. The healthier practice is to bring all that we are ashamed of, feel guilty about, to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Within the celebration we ask for the gift of honesty so there can be an unveiling of all that is so disconcerting, troublesome, and even frightening. We are all "perfectly imperfect" and we will never become perfect in the acceptance of said reality, of said human condition. Eventually we have to accept the truth as enunciated by Fr.Rohr when he points out that in our 30s we have to face the the fact that "all our plans have come up short." He goes on to say, we find, and consequently have to accept that we not the best at anything. We  are not the best wife, husband, son, daughter, employer, employee.  You may now add to this list the shortcomings you much prefer to hide, to deny...That list can be very long???  It will get longer as we grow in honesty with who we are. Our deepest reality, being spiritual beings immersed, enfleshed in the human condition will provide endless additions to our disturbing lists.

 

However, there is good news. The Mercy of our Gracious Father became incarnate in the flesh of The God-Man, Jesus Christ. We were recently reminded that He emptied Himself of His Divinity so to take on our broken humanity and all its sinfulness. He, by The mystery of The Incarnation, entered into our alienation from His and our Father. He came to reveal the wonder-full, mysterious mercy-full love, grace that is being offered to us in each, and every moment we are in existence.  Our existence speaks to us of God's dwelling within us.  It guarantees us of our presence in the mind of Presence Itself.  Were it possible, and it is not, for God to forget us we would go poof and disappear. The fact that He lives and moves within our being, guarantees us existence, not life. We are responsible  for the quality of life we live. The quality of that life is not decided for us, we are responsible for that ourselves. Of late when a person says to me as I leave their presence, "Have A good day" I now say thank you, and if "I do not it will be my own fault" Almost 100% of the time we have a great laugh. However, this is NO laughing  matter. This is serious stuff.

 

I have found out I am not the only one who has struggled and still struggles with the whole issue of taking responsibility for my own happiness. I cannot transfer that responsibility on to anyone, or anything else.  I have done it, and have learned, and am still learning this hard fact, IT DOES NOT WORK.  Being codependent is an every moment challenge of looking deep within, not without, for the source of happiness.  Will I be ever cured?  Of course not. I have wounds that will never cured, they must be cared for.(Moore)  So we will always be susceptible to shame attacks. Those attacks can lead to one looking outside for validation, rather than believing in his own innate goodness. Once we have been abused, whether, physical, spiritual, sexual or psychological there is a propensity to look outside rather than inside for the source of joy and happiness. For those of us who have been abused the inner journey is tough. The last place we want to look for that which will make the journey less of a trudge, is the last place we visit.

 

Those of us who have been victims of abuse are toxically shamed. That is we have lost, our "right to love, to be loved, (to be the beloved).  This right to be the beloved which is an essential foundation for  all healthy relationships. Once a victim always a victim until one make the decision to become a survivor. That is NOT a decision  one makes once forever . This commitment to oneself has to be repeated over and over, many times a day.  Remember one does not think one's way into a new way of acting, we act our way into a new way of thinking. This is a very slow and pain-full process. However, being faithful to a healthy way of living change does happen, but Not according to our expectations.  (Now where have you heard that before ???)  We cannot plan out what our recovery will look like.  In broad strokes there "will be a new happiness, and a new freedom. " Our understanding of happiness and freedom come from The Infinite one so the change will be endless. I can honestly share with you that it can and does happen. You can, as Baretta used say, "take that to the bank."  All this change  happens in the darkness of the inner journey, in the darkened depths of who we are. Since we are wounded in the depths of our being, it is there the healing must begin.  It is from those depths the healing waves of grace bubble up.  A Light will shine to slowly illuminate that inner darkness, and reveal secret treasures. Will this be an easy ride?  Of course not. Anything that comes easy is no good. All that has come to us that has lasting Value is the result of serious and pain-full struggle.  There will be interruptions, and distractions.  There will be the temptation to quit when we are faced with serious difficulties. These difficulties out of necessity have to happen before we move on to new freedoms and new happinesses. For this new creation of grace to appear the old must disappear.  What turmoil that triggers within the depths of who we are.  We will have to face the fear of losing everything that is most dear to us. We face death. We feel like we are losing all control, and we are. We are led by grace to surrender, as we have never surrendered before, to this new life that has mysteriously become a new way of living.  This will happen through the action of grace, through the mysterious, unseen, incomprehensible, action of grace.  Through these experiences we will come to know what; The Dark night of the Soul, and what the Dark night of the Senses is all about. As this too, is the workings of grace.  It is not for us to know how this works, that is ego, it is enough for us to know that it does work.

 

  I am then responsible for my own happiness, and the recognition of Joy in my life.  (One is about having; the other is about being.)  I am confronted with this hard fact, I cannot, as much as I want to, delegate That  responsibility  to somebody else, or to something else. That was not easy to accept. I still on a very regular basis, have to shake Joe up and remind him that no person, whatever their status may be, has the power, unless I surrender said power, to decide for me who I am as beloved son of a Gracious, Ever Prodigal, Father God.  I am growing in awareness, and acceptance that one has to know the hell of the prisons of guilt, fear and shame in order to relish the freedom that comes with choosing to live and not just exist."  The glory of God is the human person fully alive."    (St. Irenaeus)  My happiness, serenity, peace of mind depends on how I honestly answer this question, "Am I a victim or am I a survivor?" In each and every moment we are gifted to live the quality of my life which will depend on my lived answer. For that I am responsible.