Another........Spring...... To.... Be.. ???

The last six months have been some of the best months of my life. Ever since Pope Francis was elected there has been such a wonder-full change. When things were, as an old friend would say, "not looking good," along comes The Holy spirit and blesses us. That Holy Spirit sure has a way of getting things done. As the result of these " workings," I have been blessed to be "bookended" by two great Popes. I was ordained into the church that was led into the new Spring which sprung from the reforms of The Second Vatican Council. This council was called into session by then Pope, and soon to be Saint John The Twenty Third. Pope John was elected just to be a caretaker Pope. To keep the church going until a certain cardinal would be old enough. The Holy Spirit had other plans. The result was truly earth shattering, or more to the point "church-shattering." Those early years were amazing. There was springing up of ministry, upon ministry to meet the challenges that came about with the empowerment of the laity. It was no longer father's church, parish, pastoral council etc. it was the people's. Then words like collaboration, inter-dependance, team building, shared responsibility, accountability,  job description, evaluation, paper trail, etc., became part and parcel of our vocabulary. Unfortunately that did not last very long.

Change is unsettling, and triggers a  great deal of fear. Fear, as we know is the opposite of faith. Does not that leave a great question to be asked, and answered with time??? Let us be honest about what happened. Honesty frees us to live in the truth. The truth will set us free, but not before it tees us off. Anger brought to faith-full prayer is the way to compassion. For those of us who have trudged the road, it was sad to see, and even harder to bear, the pendulum swings backwards. As a result, "The good old days" eventually became the present day reality. We had to endure so much of what was the vision of Vatican II, it was regulated to the back burner, and the power was turned off.  There the reforms sat alive, but dormant. That was our sad reality for decades."Man proposes, but God disposes," right? That "dormant" stage was not to be a lasting reality. God's great sense of humor, and mysterious timing has been again  revealed through the workings of the Holy Spirit. The same Spirit that blessed our Faith with John the Twenty Third has now gifted us with Pope Francis.  It is by no means a stretch of the imagination to say that another Spring Season has been bestowed upon us. We are on that dusty road, a road that has not been travelled for many years, which is leading us to regain the true vision of who we really are. We are being reminded of the fundamental fact that we all, humankind, are the beloved of our Gracious Mother/Father God. We are loved as we were loved in the eternal womb. Nothing changes, or can change that so simple a reality. We are loved as we are by a God Who does not or better still, CANNOT change Her/His love for us. It is only when our lenses are tweaked do we lose focus on who we are in the love of our  Infinite Lover. Since we are loved with an infinite love we will never, in this life ever have even the remotest idea of what it means to be loved by The Infinite Spirit of Love. What we can ever imagine that to be, will not even be close. Dream, and dream big, of what it means to be loved without condition, restriction, or reservation, sad to say we will not be close. Is it not sad that we settle for limited, restricted, and conditioned, as the way we are loved by our Eternal Lover. That it's right we have been loved from eternity by this Love. A love we are told we must claim again, and again, every moment of our lives. This must be a real commitment on our part, so the commitment of our Beloved may be reverenced, and celebrated. We cannot earn, deserve, or qualify for this, it is a pure unadulterated gift. It is so great that we are inclined to not only question the extent of this love, there are those who question its very reality. It is just plain too good. As one author wrote, "If it is too good then it is God."  Why is it that we are more ready to accept the negative without question, but question the positive???

That  reinforcement of Pope Francis of lovability of each individual, no matter what, brings us back to a simple truth. This simple truth, our Pope wants us "keep simple," not complicate it. That is ego at work. We must remind ourselves, again and again, we are the beloved.  We are loved just the way we are. Is this easy? No way. It is a moment to moment struggle, especially when we are alone, on our own. When one spends time alone it's more like doing hard time. When alone we have to face again and again our issues of "negativity, addiction, fear, and control" (Rohr). From my own experience it does not get any easier. As I spend time away from the distractions of the world, I have mistakenly so imagined it would get easier. On the contrary for me it getting more and more challenging. When I get to the point of where I think I cannot be surprised any more, I am surprised, big time.

The journey into the depths of our broken humanity really leaves one broken, bruised, beaten, just like Someone else. The One we call, The Crucified One. Through the experience of each and every crucifixion we are lead into an ever deepening encounter with The Crucified One within. As a result, the Resurrection becomes an ever deepening reality as well. All this is summed up in "no pain, no gain."  So listening to the Pope speak about his limitation has given me permission to grow in honesty with my sinfulness. Knowing it is only through the acceptance of my screwed-up-ness that I can have a vital relationship with The God "of mercy and compassion." In this way, I am brought to deep understanding of The Living Father-God that Jesus, The Christ spoke about  in 75% of  parables. So now my life becomes a parable. Parables do not answer questions, they draw one deeper into The Question.

The following is something I wished I had read so many years ago. Then I have to remind myself of the adage, "When the student is ready, the master  appears." This is what one of my "masters," Henri Nouwen, has written. "As soon as we are alone...inner chaos opens up in us. This chaos can be so disturbing and so confusing that we can hardly wait to get busy again.

Entering a private room and shutting the door, therefore, does not mean that we immediately shut out all our inner doubts, anxieties, fears, bad memories, unresolved conflicts, angry feelings and impulsive desires.  On the contrary, when we have removed our outer distractions, we often find that our inner distractions manifest themselves in full force. We, (I am so guilty here) often use the outer distractions to shield ourselves from the interior noises. This makes the discipline of solitude

all the more important." Not any easier, but......"more important." This I have to accept, not like!!!

Much...Much...Better...Than...We...Think.

 “At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin, and by illusion, a point of pure truth, a point or spark which belongs entirely to God, which is never at our disposal, from which God disposes our lives, which is inaccessible to the fantasies of our mind or the brutalities of our will. This point of nothingness and of ABSOLUTE POVERTY is the pure glory of God in us...It is like a pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of heaven. It is in EVERYBODY, and if we could see it we would see these billions of points of light coming together in the face of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely...I have no program for this seeing. It is only given. But the gate of heaven is everywhere.” These are the famous words of Thomas Merton which I first read as I was reading a book of Henri Nouwen's thoughts. They really startled me, and have been food for thought over the years. What great treasure lies, sometimes undiscovered, in our spiritual tradition. Thank God our Pope is leading us, as one writer has so aptly put it, down “dusty roads.” These so called “dusty roads” are leading us back so we can again be encouraged, and revitalized.

             Our Pope is not saying anything that is really new. All he is brave enough to do is to remind us of who we really are in “the unconditioned, unlimited, unrestricted love” of our Gracious Prodigal Father. He is not saying in which has not already been taught in theology class. Maybe because there has been a lack of healthy theology flowing from the pulpits, that we are not aware of whom we really are in the love of our Mother/Father God. How many sermons are given on how difficult it is to commit a mortal sin?  Those words “mortal sin” are thrown around like shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day. There is no teaching of what state of consciousness is required by church law for the committal of such a sin? It appears that grave matter, perfect knowledge, and full consent are not preached anymore. This leads to people confessing as mortal sin that which is venial sin. It results in Catholics living in unnecessary guilt, because they are not informed as to the true teaching of Catholic Morality. There is a constant struggle to bring penitents to a healthy understanding of what sin really is. This actually takes up a great deal of time in the celebration of the sacrament of Reconciliation. When asked what sin really is, so very, very few can give a theologically correct answer. There is always the possibility you are told you do not know how to do your job, because one does not buy into their messed up theology. There can quiet a conversation!!! It at times leads to the confession of a root sin, which has never been really been dealt with. It was “glamorous” enough. Really!!!!  There is so much to be done in this field. That is why now we hear so many shocked gasps when the Pope is only teaching the REAL TRUE theology of the church. Some want to make excuses, “He really did not really mean that.” Let us be honest, the emphasis has not been on what is right with us, i.e. Merton’s  words above, so we are not geared, disposed to hear the good news. We are not disposed to readily accept the fact that we are ever and always the beloved of our gracious Father/Mother creator. That is why I love that quote; “God help me to believe the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful.”

      As I reflect on my days in Dr.Lennon's Moral theology class I remember that the first thing that was pointed out was that mortal sin was as the result of the human action of a person. A human act was the result of a knowing mind and a consenting will. No one can judge the individual state of mind of another person. That is why a confessor is taught to listen to the person’s story. Any story has so many levels to it. That which we are conscious of and then there is the unconscious acting out. Any action can only be judged to be such a sin by the informed conscious of the individual. Not in the estimation of the confessor. The confessor can point out the gravity of the action. What sin it is, mortal or venial, lies in the existential, the here-and-now, and state of mind. Our action will reflect the relationship, as it is being lived out right now, between us and God. Sin has to do with the frame of mind of the person at the moment, not 5 seconds later, nor 5 minutes later, nor 5 years later. We must remember all the circumstances of the moment will have an effect on our freedom, and our ability to respond, and so, be responsible.

          Sin is the free, deliberate, conscious decision to knowingly reject God's love and choose that which is opposite. It has to be the deliberate, thought-full rejection of Goodness so as to choose a destructive evil. It is to say to God, consciously, “I am by this action rejecting your love, and the possibility of heaven, and choosing to go to hell, a place where Your love is not. I want to be separated from You, beginning here and now and for all eternity.” We must also keep in mind that of all the billions who have passed through this world the church has never taught that even one of those billions is in hell. There have been some bad “dudes” and "dudettes" on this space ship of ours and we teach no one is definitely in hell. Here is something I have said so often, I can now use it in a sermon without a note:  “God’s mercy is greater than our sins. There is an awareness of sin that does not lead to God but rather to self-preoccupation. Our temptation is to be so impressed by our sins and our failings, and so overwhelmed by our lack of generosity we get stuck in a paralyzing guilt. It is the guilt that says I am too sinful to deserve God's Mercy. It is the guilt that leads to introspection instead of directing our eyes to God. It is the guilt that has become an idol and therefore a form of pride” Henri Nouwen “A cry for Mercy.”
                  

 

The...Chesed...Mercy...Of...Merton

"Mercy within Mercy within Mercy" these are the words of Pope Francis telling  me he is familiar with the work, and words of Thomas Merton. As you may well know I just love the wisdom of Thomas Merton. It was a number of years ago I  was real lucky to read his book, "Love and Living." It was a real grace-full experience, actually it could be called an encounter, because of the continued change that has been part of my life since. There is a wonder-full chapter in that book entitled, "Climate of Mercy." The reading of, and then further reflection of what that chapter had to offer effected me. It resulted in me being opened up, unfortunately very slowly, to a new understanding of the mercy of our Gracious Prodigal Father. As a matter of fact, I made it a point to make that available to many, many others over the years.

It was in there I read the words of an English Mystic describing the mercy - full God as, The One who "Abides patiently, He forgives easily, He understands mercifully, He forgets utterly." That was a new, exciting, freeing, enlightening, and enlivening understanding of God, and the way He sees me. I was formed in the very opposite understanding so this is what I was seeking and searching for, for so long. (I really believe now, that saying, "When the student is ready, the master appears.")I also read the following later in that same chapter; "The mercy of God shows the sinner to himself, no longer as essentially opposed to truth but as reconcilable with it." I later learned that reconciliation is a process, and a slow process at that. It happens, through the mystery of grace, as one falls more and more deeper into the bath, filled to the brim, with the soothing, healing, comforting oil of the mercy of God. We will do anything to avoid this "fall." We will go to terrible extremes, and cause tremendous havoc before we ultimately fall into the compassionate, loving, reconciling embrace of our Prodigal Father. Merton goes on to write: "Mercy heals in every way. It heals bodies, spirits, society, and history. It is the only force that can truly heal and save...Mercy heals the root of life by curing our existence of self-devouring despair which projects its own evil upon the other as a demand and accusation. We are enabled by God's gift to become merciful, we are given the power to understand mercifully, to accept and

to pardon the evil in others, not as a fruit of some Godlike magnanimity rooted in our own justice, but first of all as the fruit of self-knowledge which is liberated from the need to project its own evil upon the other" "To receive mercy and to give it is, then, to participate in the of the new creation and of redemption."

Last week that word "hesed" appeared in a quote as the Hebrew for the Greek "eleos" which is mercy in English. Merton spells it as "chesed." He describes chesed in the following quote from, "Seasons of Celebration:"  The chesed of God is a gratuitous mercy that considers no fitness, no worthiness and no return. It is the way the Lord looks upon the guilty and with His look makes them at once innocent. This look seems to some to be anger because they fly from it. But if they face it, they see that it is love and that they are innocent.(Their flight and their confusion of their own fear make them guilty in their own eyes.) The chesed of God is truth. It is infallible strength. It is the love the seeks and chooses His chosen, and binds them to Himself.  It is the love by which He is married to mankind, so that, if humanity is faithless to Him, it must still always have fidelity to which to return to: that is His own fidelity. He has become inseparable from man in the chesed which we call "Incarnation," and "Cross," and "Resurrection." He has also given chesed in the Person of His Spirit. The Paraclete is the full, inexpressible mystery of chesed. So that in the depths of our own being there is an inexhaustible spring of mercy and love. Our own being has become love. Our own self has become God's love for us, and it is full of Christ, of chesed. But we must face and accept ourselves and others as chesed."I guess that is why said "Be who you already are."

As we look further into the understanding of mercy we can see where our Pope Francis is coming from. It is up to each one of us, as the church of the poor for the poor, to get into touch with that chesed within. There will be a great connection with the journey into our own poverty, and the healing, soothing, and comforting we will experience. Because "the people are the church," so then wherever we are, there is the church. Is not this is a huge dignity and responsibility? We have to face this question, what is the quality of mercy that we are offering to those who are so desperately seeking, and searching for. This seeking and searching is so often in the unconscious and needs to be loved into to consciousness. We also have to face the fact that that the quality we bestow on ourselves will  be that which we can sincerely offer to another. As we make Merton's understanding of mercy, chesed a deepening reality there will be people paced in our lives for a reason. The reason for their presence is that we impart to them the gifts of empathy, understanding, and compassion that are now ours. Gifts that have appeared not through any success of ours but because of our many failures, and failings. I sometimes see God's mercy as a great giant hot tub into which I can lower that part or parts that need to experience soothing, comfort and healing. This hot tub is always open for you and for me.

The...Healing...All...That...Is...Mercy

"Mercy..." "...Mercy…" and still more "Mercy," is the word we are hearing again and again from Pope Francis. Our, Pastor of Pastors, is in reality just reminding us, and I am in the need of being constantly reminded of a gift that is always being offered. We must also be cognizant of the fact that 75% of the parables of Rabbi Jesus were about the mercy and compassion of God.  Jesus, Who became The Christ, is seen as the enfleshment of the mercy of God. We are  all in the constant need of "the medicine of mercy." Thanks to our Prodigal Father-God it is always made available to us. All that needs to be done is ask for mercy, and forgiveness, and it is ours.  We can use the words put into the mouth of the publican by Jesus," Lord, God be merciful to me a sinner."  We also have in our spiritual heritage, The Jesus prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, be merciful to me, a sinner." Our Pope encourages us to keep asking for forgiveness. Why is he so encouraging us?  Simply  because our Prodigal loves to forgive. So then let God do what God does best. The "best of God," meets the worst of us and in this encounter a new reality is created through the action of creative love. We are required to reverence this new reality that has resulted from the encounter  of opposites. We can never understand the miracle of grace, only gaze in awe-full wonder as we are drawn into a new, and unimaginable reality. This is God's deepest wish: "I will, not the death of the sinner,  rather that he be converted and live." Let us then, just have the desire for this miracle of grace to happen and in the depths of our being, a new creation will take root. It is only in Kairos time, God's time, will we become aware, ever so slowly of this new life now breaking through. The image of a wondrous flower breaking through the brown earth, in a very out of the way place, comes to mind. It will not have much of an impact on the world but to our world an inexhaustible source of joy has entered.

          That word "converted,"  from which we have, "conversion," is a great word.  It means to turn around and go in the opposite direction. It also involves a new way of seeing. To be converted then is to admit, to own the fact that we are going in the wrong direction and seeing in a spiritual unhealthy manner. We need then a new way of seeing, leading to a new way of being. This is not easy. It is tough to go through a conversion. Yet on this hike/ journey we have to be converted again and again. Always changing, always seeing anew, and never ending. This can only happen under the guidance of The Creative Loving Spirit. Since the spirit is invisible, we will not be able, with the naked eye, to actually see the process that is taking place. May I be so bold as to suggest a new understanding of mercy is essential for an ever evolving healthy spirituality. This will lead to the freedom envisioned by God for you and I.

      What then is the life enriching understanding of that word mercy which is so much part of our Pope's vocabulary, as in the following.  "A little bit of mercy makes the world less cold, and more just." What warmth, what compassion, what understanding, what acceptance, has exuded from our Pope. He speaks to us of the God of mercy and he encourages us to administer "the medicine of mercy." Mercy as medicine? New to us in the Latin church but not in Orthodox spirituality. One writer has suggested that The Pope has borrowed the Orthodox understanding of mercy. The Orthodox understanding really expands that old narrow understanding of mercy as just  being about the forgiveness of our sins. I have found, over the years, that mercy as understood in other languages has really broadened its meaning for me. The following has brought about about a great personal conversion, which has resulted in a new freedom. The following is being offered for your personal reflection, and spiritual nourishment: "The word mercy in English is the translation of the Greek word eleos. The word has the same ultimate root as the old Greek word for oil, olive oil: a substance which was used exclusively as a soothing agent for bruises and minor wounds. The oil was poured into the wound and gently massaged in, thus soothing, comforting and making whole the injured part. The Hebrew word which is also translated as eleos and mercy is hesed, and means steadfast love. The Greek words for "Lord, have mercy are "kyrie, eleison" that is to say, "Lord soothe, comfort me, take away my pain, show me your steadfast love. Thus mercy does not refer so much to justice or acquittal a very western interpretation but to the infinite loving-likedness of God, and His compassion for his suffering children!"(Orthodox Worship)

             So we can see what the Pope is driving at. Mercy is that which sooth the pain that sin brings into our reality. Mercy is there to comfort those who are in some way victimized by acts contrary to the universal law of love.  It brings healing to the beaten, broken, betrayed, exploited of our sisters and brothers. Healing Sin, as I think of it now is:  a non loving act which in some way  makes it  now more difficult for me or another to freely respond to the offer of God's love. Sin is that action or non- action by which the loving, creative action of God is opposed or hindered. I have to face sin in relationship to myself, my neighbor, God, and all of creation. Wounds can happen so suddenly, but it takes time, sometimes, a long, long time for the healing to take place. Healing cannot be rushed, darn it, how often have I wished it were otherwise!!  This is getting too long, right?? Will continue next blog D.V.

 

Introduction...To...Mercy

"Have mercy on me, O God, in accord with Your mercifulness; in abundant compassion blot out my transgressions. Thoroughly wash away my guilt; and from my sin cleanse me. For I know my transgressions; my sin is ever before me. Against you only have I sinned; I have done evil in your eyes...My sacrifice O God, is a contrite heart, a contrite, humbled heart you will not scorn. 'From this Psalm 51 we see that humankind's need for mercy has been around for a long, long time. That need continues for us today because of who we are. We as "spiritual beings," are forever and always, having to face what "immersed in the human experience" is constantly revealing to us. Some of the revelations give cause to celebrate. We are the beloved daughters/sons of a Prodigal Father whose infinite-love- vision of us never changes. As we are immersed in the confining limits of a broken humanity we do not readily see, or believe all that is ours because of who we are. Because we, at least for me, are not able to be conscious of our inner dignity.  We can live our lives in estrangement, not knowing what to do. We are lucky, however that our Prodigal Father, out of His infinite love for us, sent us His Beloved Son, Who became enfleshed, became incarnated, in the womb of the Virgin Mary. The historical Jesus, who became The Christ of God, was the revelation of fullness of the infinite, mercy-full, love of our God. Out of His personal love, for you and me and all of creation, He assumed our broken humanity. Why would The All Powerful One empty Himself of His divinity, and be immersed in a broken humanity?  Simply put, through His life, His mission, His ministry the Prophet Jesus would model for us how to move from estrangement to oneness, to unity, and eventually to peace. By entering the human condition God "conferred on human nature immortal value."  The Mystery of The Incarnation calls us, no, challenges us to see our humanity as evolving into an everyday, every moment, of newness. We are asked, and indeed challenged to enter this mystery, as we are with all mystery, with an attitude of reverence, and respect. We do this with the knowledge that we are never going to solve the mystery; we are however, going to be drawn deeper and deeper into, said mystery. This journey is endless in this life. We must not be discouraged by our limited knowledge, and vision. The Holy Spirit, The Wisdom of God, is in charge of this journey and She will make sure all that we need is right there before us. All that we will ever need will be there, when we need it and as we need it. Notice the word want was not used. There is such a difference between what we need, and what we want. "God takes care of our need, not our greed"( Ghandi).  Our Shepherd God will make sure that we, His sheep, and lambs are going to be led to running waters, and green pastures. To the good grazing fields of mercy, compassion, forgiveness, reconciliation, and freedom. As we are journeying through the darkness of the valley, and this IS a certainty, we will have The Light of Lights to guide us securely on our way. We will never wander to a place where the Good Shepherd will not seek, and search for us. According to the scriptures it seems that the lost sheep get special care and attention.  In The Cloud of Unknowing the author says that God seems to do His best work with HABITUAL SINNERS.  "Where sin abounds, grace abounds even more." There is such hope and consolation contained in the healthy spiritual writers. We seem to have forgotten their tenderness, or choose to ignore it!!! 

 

                We do not have to know how this miracle of grace happens. It is none of our business. This is in the realm of The Divine.  All of our God's workings are way beyond our ability to understand or comprehend. All we have to do is simply allow it to happen.  Easy to do?  No way. We will have to go to war; do battle with the egocentric ego, the false self takes. This false self, where The Father Of Lies makes his dwelling will offer what APPEARS to be a better way, a more attractive one.  It will appear to be "An easier and a softer way."  As a result we will stray, go our own way and get lost.  How often will this happen?  As long and as often, as it takes for us to wake up and admit, this way is not working, there must be a better way.  Usually, we will slowly have to let go, the way of the false self, with all the pain and suffering which has become part of our so-called life. We are NOT living; we are existing. The way of the false self buys us nothing but a ticket to the dungeons, the hellish prisons of guilt, fear, and shame. We will have many encounters with that good old toxic trinity before we will awaken to the real truth, and follow the healthy way.

 

        Sheep and lambs do not have to know the path; all that is necessary is that The Good Shepherd knows the trail. The sheep know, recognize The Voice that calls them by name and then follow.  (That is the same Voice who is always calling us. Calling us by our unique name. A name that has been chosen for us. A name most of us will never know, so the mystics tell us. Pretty neat to have God personally choose a name for us.)  They follow that voice even though the trail may be rocky, and steep. They follow knowing there will be rest, refreshment, and safety at journey's end. For the sick, the weak, the injured there will be comfort, care, and time to rejuvenate. All their care is provided by the kind, compassionate, mercy-full, loving, tender presence and actions of the shepherd who is good. That is what a good shepherd does. In his mission and ministry, The Good Shepherd showed Himself to be everything that one could expect from a good shepherd, and even more. Jesus showed Himself to be mercy-full, healing, comforting, compassionate, kind, accepting, The Presence, and The Revelation of Love.  While on earth The Historical Jesus went before the apostles and they followed Him. Now that Jesus is The Risen Christ, He now travels with, and within each one of us. While on earth, He was not able to do that. We can say now that we have The Guidance System to guide and direct us through the darkness of the deep valleys, and its challenging trails, on our way to the eternal sheep-fold.  Darkness is not dark to the One Who is Light. Such is shinning within our depths, lighting our way to the treasure, to the pearl of great price that is waiting for us to discover. 

                                                                                                       

 

In...Search...Of...Self

As a consequence of my being, "a spiritual being, immersed in the human experience," there are zillions of questions seeking answers. Why does it we seem to never get a satisfactory, complete answer? All the answers I seem to get just lead to another new question, which leads to another new answer, which leads to another new question. Duh!!! I get tired, and very frustrated. I want it to stop. That "I," who wants this to stop, is my ego, my false self, not my true self. My true self is always seeking and searching for who it is, in the unconditioned, unlimited, unrestricted love of A Prodigal-father-God.  What the "I," the false self is, is an end to that endless moment to moment battle, fought in the depths of our souls.  It is a battle which the false self cannot win, but goes down fighting every inch of the way. Joe has to become reconciled with that endless searching, seeking, and ever deepening journey into the "beyond" of everything, and everyone. I have come to the realization that as it is, in the sacrament of the now moment, so it was, and ever shall be, a journey into the ever mysterious, Beyond. This Beyond exists outside time and space, and outside the ability of words to communicate such a Reality. Thomas Aquinas reminds us "whereas we can come a knowledge of the existence of God, we will never come to a knowledge of the essence of God."

 

          So many of us are drawn to the ocean, and its many looks, voices, and moods. Our journey into the mystery of God, is like a person entering an ever receding sea. The endless, mysterious ocean, is a common metaphor used by the spiritual writers. Even at this stage on my life's journey the ocean still stirs within me something in which I fail miserably in my efforts to communicate. There is a certain reality which is deep, deep within, and aching to be expressed. The desire is there but, for some reason the vehicle, the language to express  such  reality, I am sad to find out, has been lost. In the past, the ability to communicate at such deep levels was present within humankind, what a gift we have been deprived of and why? So we settle for conversation about the accidentals of life, and never wonder why we are not satisfied. The restlessness we all experience will be with us until we hear those words of welcome to our eternal home," Come you who are the blessed of my Father inherit this eternal kingdom..." We will then find eternal rest, and peace in that place, from which in reality, is our place, of origin. What a mysterious circle we are called travel.

 

             "You are never too old and it is not too late to dive into your increasing depths where life calmly gives out it's secret... (so) Deeply I go into myself. My God is Dark, and like a webbing made of roots that drink in silence." So Rilke writes. He also writes that we: "Believe in the love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have Faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so LARGE that you can travel as far as you wish without stepping

outside of it...the only journey is within." Despite what my ego wants, to stop all this journeying into uncertainty, the true self will be restless until it rests in its, True Home. This true Home we are given just an introduction to, on this part of the journey. We get a taste of what is awaiting us, so as to encourage us to continue 'our trudge," through this "vale of tears."  We call these moments, our moments on The Mount of Transfiguration. 

 

Remember how the prophet Jesus, before His "passing over," revealed to The Big Three, Peter, James, and John, His inner light, on The Mount of Transfiguration where His divinity shone through His humanity. Was this to show off? Of course not. It was done so that they would have an inner, deeper, understanding to strengthen them so they would be able to face the coming apparent disaster. Jesus wanted to reveal to them that He was so much more than what they thought, saw, or understood. It was through a long, pain-full process before those Apostles came to understand Who this Prophet, Rabbi Jesus really was. They had to move beyond their relationship and understanding of the historical Jesus, The One who was "WITH THEM" daily as a fellow human being. What an authentic human being that Jesus was. WE do not place enough importance on the humanity of Jesus, through which Our Gracious, Mercy-full, God is revealed to us. Jesus is God in human form.  They too, had to endure a death and resurrection so that they could grow into a new enlightening, and enlivening relationship with the Risen Christ. What agony those early disciples, our ancestors in faith had to endure so that their understanding of the historical Jesus, Who was with them, could give way to the birthing of The Christ, "WITHIN THEM." I wonder how often did the Big Three return in memory to those sacramental moments on their Mount of Transfiguration? I wonder what part that played when question and doubt invaded their hearts, soul and minds?

 

   The Big Three had only one visit to the Mount, of which we know. We, on the other hand, have many, many visits to that sacramental place, and space. But are we aware of that which is happening to us? Yes, we are privileged to journey again, and again to the place of transfiguration. Jesus "took with Him, Peter, James, and John" up the mountain.  The spirit of that same Jesus, who became the Christ, is with us as we enter our moments of encounter with transfiguration.  These are the sacramental moments when the hidden Presence, breaks through, and we are not able to say anything, but, WOW!!! We, like Peter are tongue tied.  We have no real words to express that depth of feeling welling up from deep inside. We are in those "wow" moments caught up in the wonder, the mystery, The Presence of that which is beyond, thought, feeling, and emotion, it is The Beyond. Is it not very sad when people, places, events, actions, enter into the realm of the familiar? There is no sense of the sacred, the holy. Then we see that person, place, etc. as something we take for granted. We are then well on our way to our own private hell. We are condemning ourselves to dwell in that heartless, soul destructive, life destroying, awe-less, place we call, The Land of the Ordinary, and the Familiar. These two lands do not exist in God's creation. They are illusions we ourselves create, or are forced by the circumstances of poverty, and violence to inhabit. Unless we break free we will just exist, not live. We will die, without ever having lived. How sad is that?

 

Musings...Of...A...Celt...Part II

Off to seminary I went. (We thought it real funny to define "seminary" as: a home for expectant fathers. Now not so funny!!!!!) During those six years, and the intervening years as well, I was introduced to the world of theology. There was natural, dogmatic, moral, scriptural, ascetical, process, etc., etc. As I got smarter??? I seemed to have lost something. I was in my head. I found myself caught up in thoughts, definitions, dogmas, infallible teachings, and rubrics, just to mention a few. That got me through seminary. The fantasy world of academia was left behind within the blink of an eye. I was lucky to be appointed to an inner city parish however, I did not think so then. My classmates were in, one could say, fat city and there were places I could not drive through at night.

 

The reality of real life hit me right between the two eyes in the form of my encounter with real life. My first encounter with a body to be anointed was one that had been burned in a helicopter crash. The sight and smell lasted a long, long time. I still can recall how those remains looked. One of my first parish anointings was when I was called to a small, small home. Inside was a father and little daughter, both asphyxiated as the result of a heater that went on the blink. That was hard enough to deal with, but I was also the celebrant for the mass. I still remember how I had to hold back the tears during the mass, and the internment. Wow, I was not prepared for that. The emotions that welled up from the inside were completely new to me. (I revisited another depth of feelings at my Dad's, and Mom's funerals.) I came to realize this vocation was not just about the outside, there was a whole inner dimension to it as well. This Encounter with humanity in all of its rawness was the beginning of a long, long journey into a deeper understanding, and growing acceptance, of the limitations of my own humanity.  I have learned, the hard way both acceptance, and reconciliation with who Joe really is, not who he would like to be, or supposed to be, is a lifelong enlightening, and transforming process.  A process, I again, do not have to like, I sure do not, but for health and sanity I am required to allow to happen. Then the mystery of the love of a Gracious God works it's miracle.

 

I now agree wholeheartedly that the poor are our greatest gift. I really believe if you have not been a priest in a "financially poor" parish, you have never been exposed to the real riches of the church. With the poor, underprivileged, marginalized, you are dwelling with those who are our God's favorites. To be close to the God of Jesus Christ one has to have a deep commitment "to the least." The poor reflect back, that innate poverty within the depths of who we really are. The scriptures reveal to us whose prayer is heard by God, "the prayer of the widow and the orphan." In today's language, it is summed up in the phrase; God's fundamental option is towards those who are weak and crushed in spirit." There is great joy, and freedom to be experienced within the community of those who are accepting of, but not necessarily reconciled with their "outward poverty." Once immersed in such a community the whole meaning of church changes.

 

Our Slum Pope, Pope Francis, continues to shock people with his, what appears to be simple statements, but yet, they are so profound, e.g. He "wants a poor church for the poor." That is the ONLY church that can really be The Living Body of Christ. Jesus, Who became The Christ, came to us in poverty, served the needs of the really poor, and marginalized, and died the death of one who is cursed.("Cursed is he who hangs upon the wood,") Honestly, how are we ever going to be real imitators of that Historical Jesus who became the Christ of God. This will not be accomplished in a world of "power, property, and prestige." Pope Francis told the clergy to stop worrying about advancement in the church, but to get out and allow the smell of the sheep to get on them." He has lived and daily walked the talk. He can then, without any compunction, authentically challenge us to follow Him to walk the Real Christian talk. As someone wrote recently," It is so much easier to pray to Jesus, than to imitate Him." Now them's fightin' words!!!

There is then, the invisible dwelling of our God in the person, and the community, of the poor. It cannot be measured or analyzed, only experienced. As our God holds all things in existence, things visible, and invisible, we must ask, I must ask, for the grace to find a peace-full rest. This place of peace-full rest is in the land of the invisible. Maybe there I will be able to travel, not with angels, but with the Siohe Gaoithe.

 

Musings...Of...A...Celt

Not going to Ireland has somehow caused me to reflect more on, not what I have left behind, but what is emerging from within. The more I am blessed to wander WITH nature I find an ever deepening connection with the roots of my religious beliefs. We, as Christians have to have a tremendous reverence for the Jewish Tradition of belief because our founder was Jewish. Do we not refer to the Old Testament as, The Jewish Scriptures? What place of reverence do they hold in our Liturgical Celebrations, and private devotions? So too does Celtic Spirituality has its roots in the religion of the Druids and their pre-Christian beliefs and practices. The genius of those who brought Christianity to The Celts of Ireland, was their innate ability to take that which was already present, and as it were, Baptize it. "The Druids had a strong sense of the supernatural, the survival of the soul after death, and the immanence of the gods. Many divinities were worshipped in groups of three, or triads…Druid practices also included a sense of sacred places, particularly woods, groves, rivers and springs."(Leaver) There are many, many holy wells, still visited by people, which were regarded as "holy" even before Christianity came to The Celts. The Irish Celts were Christianized without one person being martyred. That is almost beyond belief as The Celts were a very feared, and warlike people. The Romans never got to conquer Ireland. "The Roman conquest of Ireland" came at a later date. (As we used to say, "Enough said." I'll say no more.)

     So my ancestral belief is in the sacredness, the holiness of not only what is seen, but in the unseen as well. God has blessed me with the great desire to read. I was a reader from my earliest years. I was exposed to a world that had its origin in the imagination, and not in any perceived reality. The world I was introduced to could not be analyzed or measured to provide imperial information. I was introduced to a world beyond time and space. The story would begin long, long ago, in a place far, far away. It was a long, long time later, I came to find out that place, far, far away, was deep within me. There was no, "long, long, ago," there was the sacrament of the present moment; the sacred now, in which all is present. "Myth, never was, but always is."(Rohr) In those long winter nights, reading, yes, by oil lamp, I found myself lost in the mists of history. The Tuatha De Danaan were a mysterious people, imbued with miraculous powers. They were defeated in battle but retreated to the underground, where they made their homes. Throughout Ireland you will see particularly, trees and small mounds of earth out in the middle of the fields. They will not be cut down, or not leveled off, no way. It is common knowledge, just ask, who dwells there, and you do not mess. I was very young when I saw a small whirlwind approaching and I was pulled, unceremoniously I may add, out of the way. I was told to never stand in the way of such a whirlwind. I remember asking, Why? That whirlwind is the Siohe Gaoithe (The People of The Wind) on their way from one dwelling place to another. The invisible world was just another reality in the creation I was to live in. That invisible world I was to learn had its good and helpful presence, but it also had its evil realities. The Leprechaun was a real good guy, but slick. He had his pot of gold, but ever hear of anyone getting to keep it? On top of being the shoemaker, he was the master trickster. The Puca, and the Banshee were a manifestation of the dark side, which was a reality to be confronted and so dealt with. In that world there was the presence of both good and evil. They were both going to be encountered. With the encounter, knowledge was to be gained.

To be continued…




 

A...Celtic...Lament

I have been asked this question more than once, "Are you going back to Ireland for your Golden Jubilee?" The answer is, a reluctant "no." That does not mean I will not be connected with land of my ancestors, The Celts.  My Celtic heritage, and all the gifts it bestows, has become more and more of a presence over these last number of years. A presence that was absent, sad to say, for many of the previous years.  I now have to admit, confession is good for the soul, that the lack of my understanding of Celtic Spirituality, resulted in unnecessary pain, and sorrow.  My pain and sorrow was of necessity, felt by others as well.  For that I am heartily sorry.  Everything, at that time, was either black or white. There was no willingness to understand the baggage of personal journey, with all that it brought to each person. The imperative to see each person, as a person to be listened to, not some impersonal object to be judged, was a gift that was coming.  Thank God, the new Spirit which came with the Second Vatican Council was The Spirit of kindness, understanding, and compassion.  The reforms brought us back to a new, and a more vibrant, life giving, understanding of The Mystery.  The Mystery revealed in the life, and ministry of Jesus, who became The Christ, was none other than, The Living Father-God of the same Jesus Christ.  We were introduced to the historical en-fleshed, oh so human Jesus.  In this human Jesus, it was revealed the fullness of The Divine One.  If I was to know The Unknown, and Unknowable, all I had to do was to immerse myself in the reality of The Carpenter Shepherd from Nazareth. That was 50 years ago, and it is only now I am becoming more and more aware of what was being offered at that time.  The proclamation of that Good News has continued over years, but not without opposition.  The Gospel proclaimed in its purity, always finds opposition.  The Gospel it appears, only thrives in opposition.  The persecuted church is the spiritual healthy church.  Look at history and see when the church has been most vibrant.  A vibrant faith flowers in persecution. That is so true for our individual faith journey as well.

 

         I got a little sidetracked, so back to what has happened and unfortunately is happening right now in our church.  The Second Vatican Council did happen, even though there are well meaning members of the hierarchy and laity that act as if it never was a reality.  Like all councils, called by the Pope in session, it had the guidance of The Holy Spirit.  What happened was under the guidance of The Holy Spirit, no matter which way we may want to cut it.  For those who deny, or actively work against those reforms, and the evolving theology are not "Building up The Body of Christ. They are, to put it bluntly, warring AGAINST the workings of The Holy Spirit.  The fear-full actions of those who wish to "reform" the previous reforms are adding nothing to the well being of our church, The Mystical Body of Christ.  They are, despite their good intentions, making the growth of The Body more difficult in a world that is so diametrically opposed to all that of the authentic teaching of the Gospel.  The demands of the Gospel are such, we are always coming up short.  We have to face our own limitations on a daily basis.  Despite our best intentions we have to face the fact, The Real Gospel imperatives are too, too much.  This is where the miracle of grace comes in.  Thank God, our Gracious Father-God sees into our hearts, and at least sees our willingness to become, even though at present we are not, the best bearers of the Good News.  This willingness is enough for God.  Once we show our willingness, grace takes over, and we are in for the ride of a lifetime.  We become what we desire, so be WARNED.  We are setting ourselves up for hard, demanding, tough work.  A work which by ourselves we cannot accomplish. On top of that we have to face the outside enemies, who are conspiring, with all likeminded forces, to oppose by any means necessary the coming of The Kingdom.  With the coming of The Kingdom, their kingdoms of "power, property and prestige" will have to go, but not without a fight.

 

         There will not be just a fight, there will be a war.  A war that is being waged within the souls of each one of us, as well as in the world we are traveling through.  So then, we are all caught up in a death struggle.  We are not the first to experience such a death struggle, the death struggle of Jesus, through which He became The Christ Of God, carries with it this great hope.  In the long run death will never be the victor.  In His victory over death, The Christ has brought to you and I a new level of hope-full seeing. We now see that all death is, is the threshold over which we must all pass into a reality that words cannot describe.  In our little every day death-resurrection experiences we

get a glimpse, just a taste of that "which eye as not seen, or ear heard, or it has not even dawned on us what is waiting for us in the fullness of life.  We have the option to life in the freedom that The Resurrection brings us, or cower in fear.  When we live out of fear we leave ourselves open to becoming fully fledged members of spite-full, fear-filled opposition.  There are those who are actively opposing the workings of The Holy Spirit. We must remember, even if they do not, they are STILL being called each and every moment, and Who is doing this calling?  The very same Holy Spirit, Whose works they are opposing, is STILL calling each one of us to be the living, life enhancing, presence of The Prodigal, Compassionate Father-God.  A Lover Who is persistent.  The Shepherd God Who is ALWAYS seeking out and searching for, the lost sheep which is you and I.

 

       This was The  Presence I was seeking.  A Presence, I have come to believe that finds a dwelling place, not outside of me, but within the depths of my being, keeping me in being.  It is within This Presence, "I live and move and have my being," I cannot exist apart, no one can.  Like St. Augustine, I was looking outside, where it could not be found.  Like Augustine, I was looking "in all the wrong places," for  that which was dwelling in the depths of my being, keeping me in being.  That reality I was able to give

lip service to, and that was all.  I had not suffered enough.  Now I see That Presence was there, all the time, calling in a gentle, tender, whisper.  Why did I not hear The Call? For me and for so many more that gentle whisper drowned out by the cacophony of noises alien to Its will, and purposes. The ears of my heart, and soul, were deafened.  It has taken a long time for the healing of my hearing to take place.  This healing, like all regular healing, has been for me a very slow process.  Yes it has taken a long time for my eyes to be truly opened so that the real "seeing," may take place. That "seeing" has gone hand in hand with the rediscovery of the richness, and gentleness of Celtic Spirituality.  It is only now, after many, many years of wandering, and wondering, I seem to have found a home.  A place where I can dwell in some peace and harmony.  I get every now and then, a brief insight into what the dream, The Aisling of God, does have for each living person.  His dream for all of us is that "We would have life and have it to

the fullest."  To live life, and live it to the fullest fullness, is a great challenge for us who are "spiritual beings immersed in the human experience."

       Will be continued, hopefully, in the next posting.

 

 

Dare...To...Answer...The...Call.

                Bede Griffiths has written the following: "In South India there is a pilgrimage to a place called Sabarimala.  It is a pilgrimage to the forest and hundreds of thousands of people go there every year. The deep meaning of this, is that people need to go back from time to time, to the forest, to the wilds, where they were before they belonged to settled civilization with a home and city.  We need to recall the freedom of the forest.  Some time each year, at least, we should go from our fixed abode, leaving our possessions, and everything to which we are attached, and become free to wander or to settle in some very quiet place, to be free for some time...."

                We are encouraged to take that time to be apart, alone and unencumbered.  Some will go so far as to state this action is essential for healthy living.  Is this easy?  No it is anything but.  Why?  What makes this healthy action such a challenge?  Simply put, it is our egocentric egos, the source of all our disease, which makes it so very difficult, for you and for me.  The bigger our egos the more intense the struggle will be.  For some, it is  almost impossible to leave behind all that SEEMS to satisfy our deep seated need, to be seen as needed and having value.  We now know, or, growing in awareness of, that when our worthwhileness is dependent on these outside forces, we are in serious trouble.  That word "SEEMS" is important.  When we are looking outside, of our true selves, for that which is already deep within, we are on "a fool's errand."  We will wander, and wander and never find a place we can truly call home.  We will be out there, as it were, "looking for love in all the wrong places," and some places we find ourselves in, are really "wrong."  We will look and look and never see.  For that which is sought is already present within us.  We have to let go, become unattached to the trappings that feed the false self, and embrace The Unseen, The Unknown.  On vacation, how often now do you see families lost to the personhood of each other as they are lost, attending to an impersonal, unfleshed electronic device?  Are we really losing the rich, comforting, challenging sounds of human voices, which have for so long been a source of our connectedness with real reality?  Our spirit can never be touched with an inanimate object, no matter how fancy it may look. 

                 We must, in order to be spiritually and physically healthy, take that time away.  Answer that call which is calling us to be alone, so The Alone can speak to our hearts.  William Butler Yeats, the great Irish poet, has penned these wonder-full, awe-full, challenging words:

 "Come way, O human child!

to the waters and the wild

 With a Faerie, hand in hand,

For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

                 Let us human children connect again with our ancestral heritage by returning to the forests, the glimmering lakes, and to the  mountains with their gentle flowing streams.  Let us return to the ocean shores and become lost in the symphonic sounds of the surf.  We will not have to have a Faerie, "hand in hand," because we will be in The Hand Presence, of that Reality which the word, "Faerie" was meant to communicate. This journey of ours is a journey of our spirit to a place where there will be real food, real nourishment.  We will journey to a place where we will find rest for our restlessness.  Because of the hospitality of nature we will be able to be at home, at peace, and at rest. The great sacrament that nature is, is ever new and ever old.  Just as we will never visit a place twice, so too, we are never the same from moment to moment.  The Creative Spirit is bringing all of creation into a oneness. An emerging creation, with all of its newness, is right here before our eyes. When are we going to stop, and in reverent awe, be caught up in that which is greater than anything we will ever be.  When that happens the only thing left to do is...pray.

 

Don't...Forget...What's...Forgotten...???

I was really enjoying reading this afternoon. As a matter of fact, I was reading in my car, as sheets of rain gave it a well deserved wash. Outside it was 66 degrees. What a great feeling that was, having endured, no survived, the 118 degrees in The Valley of The Dry Heat. When the rain stopped, thank God, to start again later, it was a little bit of heaven to step outside and enjoy the cooling down of one's body. Not only that but what a blessing, what a delight it was to be able to breathe deeply the rain freshened mountain air. That does something for the mind, body, and soul. One gets the feeling of something springing up from the depths within. It is a feeling, which in reality, words are unable to convey. How impoverished we are when it comes to communicate that which springs from our essence. We search, and search for that elusive word which never appears to materialize.

Yet we continue on with that search. We become searchers. Becoming searchers, we continue that which was begun, by our ancestors, long before recorded history. We are led by, The Unknown, to seek out and search out a way to communicate, The Unknowable. An endless search we all share, but each one in his/her own very unique way. I was pretty contented, no, really contented with myself until I read the following quote from from Annie Dillard. "Write like you are dying." Wow! Wow! Wow! I was not ready for that. A dying person's confession is sacrosanct. Look at how the law takes into account a dying person's confession. It is not questioned. It is taken for granted that the dying person would not lie. Then this thought hit me between the two eyes, Joe, you are dying. From the moment of birth, we are dying. This is a fact, a very uncomfortable reality. A reality I much prefer to deny, or at least ignore. I can get away with being an amnesiac, but only for a short period of time. As I face this stage of my life, those periods of denial, and forgetfulness are becoming shorter and shorter, darn it. So I am to write like I am dying? This means I have to tell that truth. That is so, so easy to type, but the ramifications of truth telling are something else!!! "The truth will set you free, but first it will tee off a lot of people," is one of my favorite sayings. "Good news must become bad news for the ego, before it can again, become good news." Those are two sayings that I repeat over and over, and over again. To be honest, remember that "dying thing," I repeat it why? Simply because I need to hear those words. Actions have consequences, and truth telling? Well take a look at the cross and see what humanity did to The Revelation of Truth!!! The Prophet Jesus lived the truth. Both in his mission and ministry, He was the personification, The Enfleshment of The Truth. There then emerged a conspiracy to stifle, The Voice of Truth. A conspiracy that continues to this present moment. Jesus lived a life of freedom. This freedom came from His belief in He being, The Beloved Son, of a Gracious Father from whose womb of infinite love, all life has emerged. That is our origin and our destiny. We forget this awe-filled reality. As one author writes: We have to face the fact that we have forgotten, that we have forgotten." That is a very sad reality, isn't ? I was brought up to "never forget where you came from." That was in regards to my history, and heritage. My spiritual heritage was not emphasized in the same way. Actually I was exposed at a very early age to, "the toxic trinity," namely guilt, fear, and shame. Even though I was politically free, I was so un-free, when it came to living the life that really mattered. The journey into spiritual freedom, my destiny, has been like the Irish struggle for freedom, a long tear-full, and pain-full one. Would I want to change anything? I was thinking about that on a hike. The conclusion? As I reflect on my life now, I am becoming more aware of the work of my Compassionate, Creative God, through the power of The Spirit of Wholeness. I, every now and then, have glimpses of unity, peace, and harmony. Through the workings of grace, from the chaos has emerged, a little serenity, tranquility, and some peace of mind. The weaknesses of my youth have become a source of strength. My so-called strengths have been gradually exposed for what they really were, mere illusions of grandeur. The source of these damaging illusions was a false sense, a false understanding of my humanity, and healthy spiritual realities. The real truth, has ever so slowly emerged, as I have had to face failure, rejection, weakness, and brokenness, in other words, entered into the fullness of The Paschal mystery. Over the years I have experienced a deepening belief, there can be no new life, without first experiencing, death. This awe-full, pain- pain-full reality is a place we have to journey into, over and over. In these latter years the words: "Death is not an end, it is a beginning" have been a great source of consolation, and encouragement. As it has been for me, and countless others, so may it be for you. Wow this writing, knowing that you are dying, is tough stuff. "Every blessing is a curse and every curse is a blessing." Now how long is this going to last???

The...Danger...of Denial...

There was a headline on the front page of this morning's paper, “Short walks on a long journey." It was meant to encourage hikers, like myself, not to focus just on the long hikes alone but to consider shorter ones as well. It then went on to point to short hikes that were really worth taking. It struck a chord with me, as I reflected on how it may apply to everyday living. As you know, I love to compare our journey on "the spaceship earth" to a long, long hike. Each and every day is a “short walk" on the hopefully long journey we call life. We, who have emerged from the mist of The Eternal, are forever and always, in a reality, way beyond that which our limited vision, can see. We believe, the Eternal, the Mystery, the Indefinable, the Ineffable, is a Reality we will never understand, on this earthly journey. As a consequence we will ever and always be seeking, and searching for understanding. Understanding of who we are, and who that source of our being is. We are in good company. We need to remember, St. Francis had just these two very basic questions. "Who are you God, and who am I?" St. Francis had that wonder-full simple faith which kept him grounded in those questions. I have, from my youngest years, admired St. Francis. I had even thought about becoming a Franciscan. In facing it myself I have to admit I love to complicate even the simplest things. So I have had to learn to simplify everything about my life. This is an ongoing difficult, pain-full moment-to-moment, daily struggle. Thank God I found, or was forced into hiking. Almost from the beginning I became aware, a hike was just about hiking. It was not about putting one foot carefully in front of the other. There was more, much more to this seemingly simple exercise. (I was told many years ago that the more simpler a reality APPEARS to be, the more profound it really is i.e. God). Gradually I came to realize that on hikes some of the basic, essential questions of what it means to be a "spiritual being immersed in the human condition." What this word means has triggered so many thoughts, feelings and emotions. We are all invited. Though many are not, and never would be, if I had anything to say about it. Which to my horror I have found out I do not. As a consequence I have many, many uninvited guests. Ever notice when you are in a place of quiet, in a deserted seemingly abandoned place, you have even more of these unwanted visitors. You can look and see that there is no one on the trail and you are, seemingly, on your own, but not really. You have many unwanted company crowding your mind, and demanding attention. They are unwanted because they bring to consciousness that which we much prefer was left buried. When this happens to me, I am forced to face my shadow side. This is the side, the part of me I want to live in denial of, the part of me I do not want to share with anyone. I am choosing to live in the hell of denial, choosing my state of denial brings NOTHING but pain, and destruction, for myself. Pain and destruction will also hurt a lot of those who share my life. I am going to have to deal with great upheavals, in my daily living. Those parts of my reality I choose not to share, the shadow, have been described by some authors as "the past, the primitive, and the inferior." It can be the parts of me that I find "unacceptable, unknown, and not yet developed." We all have this shadow side as, individuals, couples, families, parishes, diocese, nations, and the family of nations. On my hikes I am forced to face that which I would rather not face. Here, denial comes in very handy. Denial, I am sorry to say is just a stop gap measure. It does not do anything to help in the living into the solution. On the contrary, it just postpones the inevitable, which is pain and destruction. That which I choose to reject or am not ALLOWED to accept, as part of my reality, will REMAIN as part of my reality. This is going to happen whether I like it or not. It is not going anywhere, darn it! I can only embrace it, or as one book encourages, romance the shadow. We of ourselves are incapable of loving the shadow, that is where grace comes in especially particularly in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Yes!! That Sacrament is still being celebrated, though not as much, to the detriment of so many who are unfortunately, shadow controlled. The Creative Lover, The Holy Spirit, The Spirit of Wisdom, needs to be invited to bring about reconciliation. A reconciliation between which I would like to be, and the reality of which I am. Reconciliation is a PROCESS, not an event, I have found from sad experience. So I am forced, on a daily basis, to embrace the truth of what Thomas More has said, "The soul is never cured, it is cared for." If the soul is not cared for there is a horrible price to be paid. When the maintaining work, that is spiritual exercises, is not being done there is a price to be paid. The Spirit brings about a transformation, and we are delighted. When the ego takes overhand we get cocky, the spiritual exercises are neglected, and we assume the place of God occupied. The ego has removed the Real God, The Real Higher Power. So now we worship at the altar of pride. This always results in the old patens of behavior returning, and with a vengeance. Remember what The Prophet Jesus said “the last state, will be worse than the first." It will be the same for me as soon as I stop the spiritual work, I am on the road to places I never, never in my wildest dreams, imagined ever existed. So I have to become more and more aware of what is bubbling up from the depths. Each moment is my encounter with where my life has come to and at this moment my life has peaked. "By the grace of God I am who I am, and on the way to becoming a more authentic human being. Not becoming in any way perfect but I am growing in the acceptance of the fact that I am perfectly imperfect. The letting go of the ideal, and becoming reconciled with the reality is all through the Loving, Creative, Power of our Gracious Prodigal Father God. Grace has brought me to this moment, and grace will keep me safe, in this moment. After all, does not The Holy Spirit, The Spirit of Truth, say to you and I, “Now is the acceptable time now is the time of salvation.” Right here right now my salvation is being worked out, as I respond, not react to my present reality. In order to reach the end of a hike, I have to take a number of steps. I cannot just wish, or imagine that the hike is made. It takes action. It takes the healthy use of my free will. What an awe-full gift our Creator has entrusted to you and I. On my hikes I am challenged to face the question of how healthy is my use of this precious gift, in a way that other activities do not do. The truth will sometimes hurt, but the soothing oil of God's mercy-full love is always there for me to fall into.

50+.....The Challenge...

"I became what I never thought I would " are lines from one of my favorite John Denver songs." (Some days are diamond, Somedays are Stone.") They sprang up when I was reflecting on last weekend. June 8th was my Golden Jubilee Anniversary Mass, I am so grateful to all who made it a special celebration. To be honest, I have real trouble writing those words golden jubilee. When I was younger, a golden jubileearian was a real old f.....! You can fill in the blank with what you think is a good word to describe Fr. Joe as he is right now. ( I would love to be able to read your minds, right now.) I must remind you who read this effort, I was ordained in the 60s. What a awe-full, wonder-full time that was. These were the times when we did not trust anyone over 30. Back then, I was not able to imagine my living beyond 30. Thirty was going to be the end. Beyond that there was to be no living. Yet I am alive today with some of the those same thoughts, ideas, ideals, and dreams. The Mammas and The Papas were big back then. "There is a new world a coming" sang Momma Cass. These words encapsulated what the dream of so many was. A world that was "coming in peace, coming in joy, coming in love." Do not those words sum up the kingdom that is supposed to be coming into reality in "the present age." Growing into old age does not, and cannot, put an end to the dream, or the dreamer. We, in our old age, I now have come to believe, are called, are challenged, to shout out that dream so ancient and so new, all the louder. When you are old you have so little to lose, so you can take the risk? On second thought, is it really a risk? In this raising of our voices are to bring, not comfort, but discomfort. We must challenge all the forces that conspire to frustrate the "coming of The Kingdom". We must point to the great warning in the scriptures, that the "angels of darkness, will appear as angels of light", was The Historical Jesus conspired against by outwardly evil people? For goodness sake, it was the religious leaders who conspired with ,the secular power, to destroy Him. Those out-worldly good people, who we men of God, did not recognize the manifestation, the appearance of God when He became enfleshed. Their minds were so conditions that anything contrary to what they knew to be true, was a lie. There was no challenge tolerated. Jesus's death was brought about because He spoke a new truth, that challenged the status quo. He was counter- cultural. He pointed out that the old way was coming to an end, and a New Dawn had already broken upon the world. A new Light had come into the world to shine light where it had never shone before. To light up the lives of all those who lived in darkness, and who were, sad to say, kept in darkness. Jesus was ostracized, why? Because He broke rules that kept people in bondage. Those religious rules He broke to raise the only son of a widowed mother. In last Sundays gospel, when He healed the leper by touching him, He himself from there on was to be treated as on would treat a leper. How we going to treat the "lepers" of our time, and in the place we meet them. Who is the leper for you and I? We have to name that "leper" when we meet him/her on the outside. is the task finished there? No! Of course not. Now we have to journey inside, to meet that "leper" who is dwelling within in the depths of who we are. Still not finished? Yep!!! Now we have to follow the exhortation of St. Francis, which is, "kiss the leper within". In this way we are readying ourselves to be willing participants in the vision of our Pope Francis "to be a church for the poor". We can pay lip service to those challenging words, and the consequent actions, of our Supreme Shepherd. As we meet The Pope's challenge, we too are going to be challenged. That is the what is to be expected when we follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ. Is not persecution guaranteed, in the gospels? As The Lord was treated so are we. Jerusalem is our destiny. (As you know I love that prayer). Each one will have a unique trail to travel. Our way to our Jerusalem, is a hike over rough, and varied terrain. There are many, many, deserts, lush green valleys, and barren mountain tops." It is, a long, long road from which there is no return" (Neil Diamond.), there is no looking back. There will joy and sorrow, war and peace, crucifixions, deaths, and resurrections. As it was with our Suffering Good Shepherd so it will be for us. Let move resolutely forward in the knowledge and belief that there will be NO obstacle on the trail which will be too much for our God and us. So let us act like we are on a trail putting one foot in front of the other. Conscious of where we are at each moment, and knowing that in that moment we are safe.