We are now deep into the lenten, desert journey into a GROWING honesty. We will never be completely honest with ourselves. Oscar Wilde, " human beings can only deal with so much honesty". " When you are honest about your dishonesty, you are being honest," the message I received from my friend Fr. Tot many decades ago. Last week the closing sentence; " our spiritual garbage can, and does prevent from the vision necessary", for what? The vision of the depths of  infinite mercy-full love that awaits us in the  return to the arms of our Prodigal Mother/Father. The depths of mercy-full love can never be fully understood in this worldly existence. This Mercy-full love is infinite, and we finite, limited.

                Our spiritual garbage  will lay heavy upon us,  suffocating us ,as it were, if, and when we allow it. We all have garbage. I have lived in my home since 2007. I now am in the  process of working through all the  physical garbage I have accumulated since June of that year. What I now see as garbage did appear at one time, as necessary for an enjoyable life.  How many of us find that a journey to the grocery store,or for almost any store, will guarantee garbage.  The minimalist's  life has never been  the life  for me. I am Irish and some of my inherited character defects have gotten in the way. 

        As I am preparing to exit this life, this garbage work, is essential.  I have to face honestly both the physical spiritual garbage. Our spiritual garbage can be broken down into, GUILT---Anger---- Resentment---Boredom---Anxiety---Greed---Envy. That is an awe-full lot to process. That is why during Lent the Faith Community had a visual to help with this challenging process. There was a cave at the left side of the sanctuary. The same cave that was the cornerstone of our Christmas scene. Why use a cave ? The cave has been used since the beginning to describe the soul. Our soul is a cave, and it is therein we experience the Mysteries of Incarnation and Resurrection. One desert father's advice to a questioner was, " Go to your cave, and it will teach you everything." As it was,  so it is, and ever shall be, until, the end of time. 

    The First Sunday in Lent saw, preventing entrance to the cave big blocks  on which we written the seven words, that were written at the beginning of the last paragraph. Each week one large block was removed and placed in the midst of the community. It took me a couple of years to realize I was wrong in how I understood the placing of the blocks. Those first years I saw the blocks as preventing exit from the Paschal Mystery. From my reading I had to post my mistake, and teach the blocks prevent the entrance to to the cave, tomb, and not the exit.    ( A perfect exit for today. The journey is long, so expect more.)

                     A snack for the journey. The Lenten Desert and us. " Our own solitude awakens in a desert where we stand naked and alone in The Divine Presence-in such moments we know (without knowing) that god is, that we belong to him, and that, although in this life we will never understand how, God is forever drawing us to Himself." Today we add " drawing us to Herself." The Paschal Mystery is our home. We must gradually come to know, own  and accept that reality. Blessings on your mysterious, dramatic, and never dull adventure. Prayers for perseverance, to all, and for all. Great grandpa Joe.

  The parable of the prodigal Father, I am happy to share was the that which triggered a new awakening. It was a transforming awakening. To this moment I am still delving into its mysterious meanings. We awaken, and then we are reawakened, because of the efforts of The Gracious Creative Spirit. In the old days we used to use The Parable of The Prodigal Son, to describe this parable. But, bo more !!!!  Thanks to Henri Nouwen and his book on this parable we have been given a whole new understanding the actions of the threesome whose reality I had no clue about.

  Yes, are three presences to be considered, reflected upon, the rebellious son/daughter, the resent-full older brother/sister, and The Prodigal  Mother/Father. YES!!! there are three presences that must be encountered, not just one. All three must be reflected on until we are able to own all three realities within our depths. The deeper we go on this journey, adventure , that takes us  to the dark places we do not to own, in those depths of loneliness, self-hatred, nakedness, rejection, shame etc. Suddenly Light  begins to pierce the darkness and The Depths of The  Reality of Love  is revealed to us.  Who would have guessed ??? The Light of Unconditioned Love grows gradually brighter and brighter and the reality of what we learned about on Transfiguration Sunday , now is our experience. This dazzles us into an unknown reality. a reality not even dreamed of.  Who can challenge  The Power that is experienced by those who cry out from their place of poverty. The Psalmist councils us, " When the poor called out, The Lord heard and from all their distress He rescued him."

We are in tremendous need of clear- sightedness, honesty and courage to gradually embrace, and grow to love; the  rebellious young son/daughter, (the first half of life), the resent-full older son/daughter, (the second half of life), and The Prodigal Mother/Father who offers" unconditioned, unlimited, and unrestricted" prodigal, mercy-full Love. As we know from our journey into mercy, mercy is the love that heals us, soothes us, comforts us, protects us, transfigures us and transforms us. All this is too much to take in at first glance. It takes years to actively encounter all that is offered to us. We are always slowly growing understanding of the deep mystery of The Prodigal Father's love. The Prodigal Lover will ALWAYS give us what we need, not what we want. The acceptance of what is, is the secret. 

     The love revealed to us makes no sense to those with eyes clouded by the restriction imposed by common sense, or the binary way of seeing. The Father is not looking at the balance sheet. The resent-full brother sure is, and is ready to share the insanity of the Father's actions. He points out, " Look that son of yours,  ("NOT" my brother,) has blown half of our wealth, and now you have set him up to get half, of what is left." Get a grip  he is saying. You have lost your mind.  He does not use father or brother. Look at where resentment has taken him to ????.  He now has no family connectedness. He stands  alone in his resentment.

 To the practical eye, The Father has gone overboard. Yes !!! He has. This is  The One  who offers us love, that makes no sense. We are challenged to reflect on this parable until we embrace all that is being said about the dynamic that is alive and well, within our depths. Acceptance of the actions of Mercy-full moves us, shall we say blasts us, into the non-binary world. Our  spiritual garbage can, and does prevent us, from the vision necessary.

 An hors-d'oeure for,  Thursday !!!!!!

                                                  " When love awakens in your life, in the night of your heart, it is like the dawn breaking within you. Where before there was anonymity, now there is intimacy; where before there was fear, now there is courage; where before there was awkwardness, now there is a rhythm of grace and gracefulness; where before you used to be rugged,  now you elegant and in rhythm with your self. When love awakens in your life, it is like a rebirth, anew beginning."  (Anam Cara  by John O"Donoghue)

 You are invited to chew, masticate on that VERY SLOWLY in preparation, for what? The main course, takes some time, before it is served. The desert makes one very hungry, so here,  compulsivity is out, patience is the operative word. The main course is being worked on. This is very scary as I am heading for uncharted territory, as far as my journey is concerned. " I believe, Gracious Guide, help my disbelief.GPJ.

A Monday tidbit for the desert adventure. We never allow Hope, to be a stranger to us. 

     " I must now have faith in this love that touches me so deeply as to transcend me, leavening me as it were,   hanging in midair unable to find any footing  except in the unseen love that keeps drawing me beyond myself into a union with a God I cannot understand." "The  Awakening Call " James Finley.