Holy and mercy-full,  Spirit, help me to believe the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful it is. These must be familiar words to you, I use them often enough. I am using them here, and will again, D.V., in the coming weeks so as to encourage all to have the faith-filled  courage to believe the awe-filled mystery laying in your depths. From eternity this moment has been planned. This Mystery can and as a result of our free response be brought to consciousness. Then to  be embraced as the life changing  power of change. 

     As we approach the coming seasons of Advent, Christmas and Epiphany we need to take, as we say in Ireland, a "serious run at it"!!!!!. May I say, a very serious ,reflective run at it, otherwise we will miss the message and suffer through another ho-hum, very ordinary time. To begin with, here quoting John O'Donoghue, " there is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where ther's still a sureness in you, where there is a seamlessness in you, and there is a confidence and tranquility in you. And I think the intention of prayer and spirituality and love is now and again to visit that inner kind of sanctuary.".

  At first read ,do you ever actually believe this mysterious truth about your true identity? There is in our depths a sanctuary where the One Whose coming we are preparing ourselves to welcome, is now and always here present. The more we enter this awe-filled reality, will our preparations have depth of meaning, rather than mere meaningless and boring  routine. Like everything  else in life we are empowered to make a free  faithless or faith filled , response.   Our coming Guest invites us to " come rest in Me, as I do in you" and discover ever anew, the sanctuary of confidence and tranquility. This is a gift truly worth being prepared for.

 I particularly like those words "now and again." What are your honest feelings ? The truth will set you free, but first they will tee you off. " Lord, that I may see", "the new beginnings..... of that which is new' lying beyond the safety of sameness'. This will take us beyond what we have outgrown, and are being prepared for gifts far beyond our wildest imagination. Maybe we will slowly grow into the truth that " our lives are unique stones, in the mosaic of human existence." ( Nouwen)

 85+ 18......One of the thing we can definitely count on, is, change. We are in the midst of one of Mother Nature's most color-full and dramatic changes. What a sacrament  is being  presented for our  encouragement, as we reflect and meditate on what is right there before our eyes. She is laying before us  one of life's greatest lessons. There is such tremendous beauty, hidden and revealed in,  the dying process. What beauty is revealed as trees change magically, with breathless beauty, on their journey into emptiness, and nakedness.  As it is with nature so it is with all the  other occupants of creation. 

    I was first introduced to the gifts that come with advancing years by, Mrs Cotter, I have mentioned her in previous blogs, was a grey haired  gracious senior citizen and a widow. There was a such kindness oozing from her every pore. What a wonder-full example of what can happen, when aging  results  in graciousness , acceptance, and inclusiveness. (Offered to all, but they do not get to break into our spiritual journey. So all creation suffers.) In her aging, maturing process she was able to reveal the great mystery  that with dying we are birthed into a new way of living. She was blessed by grace, and said Yes!!! as a consequence the gift t transformed and transfigured her give life. For your meditation and reflection--- the following quote from The  Mass of The Resurrection, " Death is not an end, death is a  beginning".   

To  help on the journey into "the deep", where abundance is hidden and awaiting our arrival, let us reflect on the following gift the great Irish, Nature Mystic, John O'Donoghue's," For a New Beginning."

        " In out-of- the-way places of the heart, where your thoughts never think to wander, this beginning has been quietly forming, waiting until you were ready to emerge... ..   For  a along time it has watched your desire, feeling the emptiness growing inside you, noticing how you willed yourself on, still unable to leave what you have outgrown......      It watched you play with the seduction of safety and the gray promises that sameness whispered, heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent, wondered would you always live like this..... Then the delight when your courage kindled, and you stepped onto new ground, your eyes young again with energy and dream, a path of plenitude opening before you."

          WOW !!!! what a gift John has bequeathed us. Grist for the mill. Words that challenge us, no matter what stage in life we are at, we are  to be ever and always vigilant. There is a wonder-full, awe-full potency in our depths. The power that, when allowed to operate in freedom, beyond our fear filled anxieties,  will reveal the deepest truths about who we really are, in The Gracious Creator's original scheme of things. The slow journey of discovery, always being guided by the Spirit will will challenge us to go beyond the easy, and  the security of the familiar. O how I ache for the security of entrenchment, but then we are not designed for safe harbors, we are built to face the unsettledness of life's oceans.

       From our shipwrecks, our disasters, our frequent encounters with the  impotences revealed to us, we are slowly schooled in the wisdom, essential for a joy-filled  trudge through the unknowns of life. The Divine is revealed in ways we could never imagine. When we say, our Mother/ Father  God is One of endless surprises, we ain't whistling Dixie !!! The thing certain is there will always be change. The change will come as we enter into and emerge from the darkness of faith. As we are, literally, brought to our knees, we will rise up with a vital newness of understanding, which is also called, wisdom. 

     "In the-out-way-places of the heart.....this  beginning has been quietly forming waiting until you were ready to emerge". Wow !!!! how patient is The  Infinite Creative and Creating Power of the Holy Spirit. A unique gift is prepared for us, and when the time is right, it is revealed to us. We may think this is a sudden event, but "the mills of God grind very slow but they grind very true." We join Thomas Merton in prayer: "my Lord God I have no idea where I am going", within those uncertain steps into the darkness of Faith, a new beginning is slumbering, waiting for the right moment to break into consciousness. We think these  gifts are to be seen as somewhat sudden, far from it.....( HOPEFULLY this thought can be continued. What do you think ? Love and blessings. Great Grandpa Joe. 

 85 +7, Well, the days are moving on, and I am powerless to stop the progress. Powerlessness is becoming more and more a reality I am forced to face, but the process of acceptance is a moment to moment struggle.  A struggle which demands great strength, resilience, and acquired toughness.I just thought it would be a great idea to look 👀 up the meaning of that word. 

The following is what I got from my iPhone: " struggle; make a forceful or violent effort to get free of restrictions." That is the verb, now for the noun, " a forceful or violent effort to get free or resist attack."

WOW !!! That has really changed the way I now understand "struggle".  I was surprised to see the word "violent" in both definitions. This challenges me to rethink the understanding of my journey "through the dark valleys, and high mountaintops ".  I have another awakening, in this my golden years, when everything should be settled and a life of no surprises awaits the living. The very opposite is now my challenging experience. "DARN IT". ( That is me being uncharacteristically polite)   I have this bone I want to pick with my Gracious Giver. How come when things appear to be settled, and serenity  is surprisingly present I am lead into a life of uncertainty, with resulting turmoil, darkness and questioning.

       Here are  my conclusions from my latest upheaval. It was  a given that  I was trudging, struggling on " The Road less Traveled"(Scott Peck).Neil Diamond sang many years ago " It is a long long road, with many awaiting turns " and I bought that hook line and sinker. My new awakening has lead to the understanding it is Not  a road I am traveling, but a trail, that  I am being challenged to slog on, and slog on..... As I travel on roads I can be secure in the fact the road has been faved, and the traveling is smooth most of the time !!!!!  One cannot expect that on the trail. The trail forces on to be careful of each step that has to be taken. There are no motorized vehicles on the trail. Their use is forbidden. It is the person, as the person really is, encountering the trail as Mother Nature has shaped it for me, and all my companions. Mother Nature, under the guidance of The Gracious Creative-creating Spirit  is constantly creating a newness, so every step must hiked with  concentration and awareness, How we are then blessed with an evolving awarenesses of the mystery we are, as we encounter The Mystery in Her glorious Reality !!!!!!

 Traveling  along on the road is one thing to be experienced, but the struggle to traverse the hiking trails demands the total effort of body, mind, soul, and spirit. ( In the encounter with the challenge I have learned all are mysteriously  strengthened.)  To make the "forceful effort" to encounter freedom on the challenging  trail does indeed demand strength of mind and body. Trail hiking is not for the faint of heart. Oh one can begin one's hiking in the reality, of faint of heat . That will change over time as we are strengthened from the struggle, the violent effort to meet the demands of the existential reality. It is now the the hiker is forced to look beyond where her/his abilities, to the powerlessness of self reliance, and then we are lead to to the place of  transformation. We are now forced to look for another gear on which to operate , another Source of help. This Source does not come from the outside, it must be discovered hidden in our depths, where it has always been  awaiting us. The Answer to our need , lies the depths of our reality,  awaiting us to have the courage to trust that the help, grace we need is ALWAYS being offer, without," condition, restriction, or reservation. " The false self wars against that freeing, transforming, awareness. We are called to live in freedom, not fear, and we mysteriously journey through our fears into intimacy. Please do not short change yourself. How does all this challenge you ? Honestly  ?

        This quotation from Psalm 130 is what I cry out, from my place of  abandonment, desperation, and powerlessness. "Out of the depths I cry to You ,O Lord hear my cry. Let Your ears be attentive to my voice of supplications.." So from the depths of my brokenness, discouragement, powerlessness, fearfulness.... I am reaching out  crying out, for your merciful loving help. A dynamic love that will heal me, soothe me, comfort me, strengthen me, protect me, transfigure and transform me. All this does not happen immediately, sad to say, it takes time. I was lucky that early in my childhood my mother made me aware of this discomforting reality, "Joe, the mills of God, grind very slow, but they grind very true." They grind the wheat into the flour essential for a healthy body. We too must be ground into that which will nourish our bodies, and in doing so nourishes, The Body Of Christ.  AWE-FULL, AWE-FULL,  AWE-FULL.

85 years + 1day is the reality from which I write. In my wildest dreams I never imagined this could be my reality. Then "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans'. My gracious Creator has a great sense of humor. Some of it I have to admit I do not understand, now speaking from the truth of the 85s, there is so very little I understand. Joe, " your life is a problem not to be understood, but  an ongoing  mystery  to be encountered and lived  through.

   Last night something I have not thought about, for some time, bubbled up from the unconscious.It is a quote from Annie Dillard; " Write as if you were dying. At the same time, assume you write for an audience consisting solely of  terminal patients. That is after all, the case. What would you begin writing if you knew you were going to die soon ?  What could you say to a dying person that would not rage by its triviality." These words  have offered  a  real great challenge over the years, and more so today as the back nine is definitely in play. Just a breath away. Dying people have no time for trivialities. They demand the facts. These can ,and do, come to  us in a very often unvarnished manner. All life is terminal, a reality we are not always ready encounter in truth. Living the lie, is not living. It is called existing, not living.

         We have to accept, embrace their reality and then pray to The Holy Spirit to give us the words that will convey the necessary,  reality. Why ? Another word for The Divine, is, Reality. From the moment of our existence we are a reality. We are sent to convey our entrusted message of Reality. This demands we are true to our real selves, the self entrusted with Realities truth. Tough question, are we always true to the real truth, r do we dilute, change it so as to fit in to the reality we life in. Living this way is a lie.  

   I have not always spoken the truth that confronts, but fudged the real truth so a to satisfy the false self. Confession is good for the soul. The Sacrament of Reconciliation does demand a purpose of amendment. So here, on the back nine, I am being as honest as I can. Honesty is progressive, we do not have it all. So be gentle. " "To thine own self be true", a counsel of Shakespeare. That was so easy to write, but is it not so very difficult to adhere to. Truth will come to us from so many directions, and from all the events of our reality. We are never disconnected from reality, The Creator Reality makes that impossible.  

   So The Spirit Of Truth, The Holy Spirit comes not at the moments we choose, or through the teachers of our choosing. The  real prophets of our lives are pretty much people who can, and do rub us the wrong way. In even parish I have ministered in, there was always a,  "prophet presence". How I found ways to duck any encounter, but the Spirit can be way more devious that we can be. Time changed, or need I say the grace of masybrough about the changes that were need, for me to be able to welcome the gifts that were coming through this prophetic presence. Now I have to ask for the grace to accept this truth, "What I abhor in another, is exactly what I abhor in myself. The truth will set you free, but this is taking it to a place I am not anxious to go to. The back nine says," you are running out of options". Why not be really honest, asks the true self ? So kicking, screaming, crying I am lead into the Kingdom Of Truth,Justice and Love. Then acceptance is a reality that can be slowly embraced. It does not bite, but we are still, so cautious.  

 So goes my first consecrated effort, when faced with " write as if you were dying.

 It was a great 73 degrees in Sun Lakes, Arizona this glorious morning.It looks like I have survived the hottest Summer on record here in Arizona. These last number of months were a real tough slog. Each Summer over the last three years were hotter than, the previous one. Where is this going to end ? We have just lived through, on second thoughts, survived is a better word to describe our real tough slog. We had 113 days of temperatures over 100 degrees. We are really enjoying the present cooldown, but we have at least nine more days of over 100 on the horizon. 

    The climate  projections for the future are no, by any stretch of the imagination, encouraging. The gradual disappearance of the icecap will have global consequences, what plans are in place to encounter these future challenges ? I was shocked when I read about the Ecomartydoms taking place in the most endangered areas of our common home. Then my questionable memory reminded me of something  wrote about in blogs past. I did dedicate my little book, "Creation The first Bible" to those nameless sister and brothers, who paid the ultimate sacrifice in the defense of this cosmos, our ever evolving home. They are nameless to me,I am sad to say, but not to their loved one who had to bear the cross of the loss. Let have a special remembrance in our prayers , remembering  all our sisters and brothers, who have to face forces of greed, in a life and death struggle.   LITERALLY 

There have been a total of five extinctions recorded in the history of our planet. Are we listening to some scientists who warns of an extinction taking place right now ? Fact or fiction ?  let The Spirit of Truth guide our  own researching  of the facts.I pray that this will  lead us to an informed decision as to the right actions to be taken. The question must be asked, and the answer contemplated, leading to ???????? Each one of us has to answer that question for oneself, and begin to live with the answer. Andre Gide wrote these very challenging words : " To know how to free ourselves is nothing; the arduous thing is to know what to do with ones freedom." We have been gifted by The One Who emptied Himself of the freedom as The Divine One, God, so as to immerse Himself in the reality of being Human. He came to a land living under  the bondage of the Roman occupation. As Paul tells us He did not deem equality with God, something to be grasped at, but willing emptied of The GodHead so as to immerse in the same humanity as you and I. Jesus,Who became The Christ, so that through His Paschal Mystery modeled how we are to become free. The radical life He lead, we are asked to live so that all humankind can experience real unadulterated freedom. Freedom is never free it always comes at a price.

My parents we not born in a land of freedom. My mother's family suffered greatly in the struggle for Irish freedom. Being close relatives and friends of Michael Collins the suffered unending persecution at the Hans of The Black and Tans. I was brought up with the stories of Michael so looking back the desire for real freedom was sewn in me. Freedom, for all who suffer bondage in any way was instilled in my depths. So then we all have a challenge to meet, at different levels, so that freedom is not just a word but an emerging reality. Would that our world was free to evolve into the bloom of fullness imagined by The Creator and not have to struggle because of those who are afraid of free human beings." Watch out for the free person with nothing to loose" is always in my consciousness. It has been a long time, so this is long.