Sunday, September 19, 2010

Blame has to .....STOP!

A butterfly does not immediately immerge from its cocoon, it takes it time. Time and effort are essential ingredients for a butterfly to immerge healthy. The struggle to be released from the cocoon is necessary for it to have healthy wings. For it to be able to fly, there is the necessary struggle. In the same way, a chick immerging from its shell, cannot be helped by the mother, otherwise there is a price to be paid. The birthing process does involve pain, ask any mother. We too have to accept the fact that for us to become who God intended us to become, this too demands time ,effort, and yes……
pain. The one thing we must constantly guard against is adding to the pain that is ours, on this oh so human journey as spiritual beings. God came that we would have life and have it abundantly. We are called to a life of freedom, not fear. We are called to fly as free as butterflies. That is God's dream for you and I. We are the Aisling of God, living out the Aisling of God. We are the incarnation of a dream, of God. Pretty neat? We must work, work, and work on the ongoing understanding of being loved as this ever unique dream. We must keep reminding ourselves we are limited, never perfect. This is necessary for us to immerge from the cocoon of limited understanding.

As much as we want and strive to be perfect, in this life, will never be ours. That is reserved for the next life, the resurrected life. So, in the meantime we must concentrate on enjoying the life God has given us to lead. The same human existence, God as human, lived. A life we live very imperfectly. Yet somehow all of this is part of God's dream. A dream we are created for, and invited to both enjoy, and celebrate. One of the weapons we use to sabotage this wonder-full dream is BLAME. As I promised last week, here is the quotation I received and wish to pass it on to you. Read this slowly and listen to what these words say to you. What comfort do you see being offered to you for your daily living? John Powell in one of his books, "Happiness is an Inside Job" writes; "Growth begins when the blaming stops"!!!!!!!!

Nouwen's quote:

"You must avoid not only blaming others but also blaming yourself. You are inclined to blame yourself for the difficulties you experience in relationships. But self-blame is not a form of humility. [oops ... thought I was a little holy with all the self-bashing.] It is a form of self-rejection in which you ignore or deny your own goodness and beauty.

When a friendship does not blossom, when a word is not received, do not blame it on yourself. This is both untrue and hurtful. Every time you reject yourself, you idealize others. You want to be with those whom you consider better, stronger, more intelligent, more gifted than yourself. Thus you make yourself emotionally dependent, leading others to feel unable to fulfill your expectations and causing them to withdraw from you. This makes you blame yourself even more, and you enter a dangerous spiral of self-rejection and neediness.

Avoid all forms of self-rejection. Acknowledge your limitations, but claim your unique gifts and thereby live as an equal among equals. That will set you free from your obsessive and possessive needs and enable you to give and receive true affection and friendship."

Until next week...LIVE the dream!