The...Journey...Of...Self...

As a consequence of my being, "a spiritual being, immersed in the human experience," there are zillions of questions seeking answers. Why does it we seem to never get a satisfactory, complete answer? All the answers I seem to get just lead to another new question, which leads to another new answer, which leads to another new question. Duh!!! I get tired, and very frustrated. I want it to stop. That "I," who wants this to stop, is my ego, my false self, not my true self. My true self is always seeking and searching for who it is, in the unconditioned, unlimited, unrestricted love of A Prodigal-father-God.  What the "I," the false self is, is an end to that endless moment to moment battle, fought in the depths of our souls.  It is a battle which the false self cannot win, but goes down fighting every inch of the way. Joe has to become reconciled with that endless searching, seeking, and ever deepening journey into the "beyond" of everything, and everyone. I have come to the realization that as it is, in the sacrament of the now moment, so it was, and ever shall be, a journey into the ever mysterious, Beyond. This Beyond exists outside time and space, and outside the ability of words to communicate such a Reality. Thomas Aquinas reminds us "whereas we can come a knowledge of the existence of God, we will never come to a knowledge of the essence of God."

          So many of us are drawn to the ocean, and its many looks, voices, and moods. Our journey into the mystery of God, is like a person entering an ever receding sea. The endless, mysterious ocean, is a common metaphor used by the spiritual writers. Even at this stage on my life's journey the ocean still stirs within me something in which I fail miserably in my efforts to communicate. There is a certain reality which is deep, deep within, and aching to be expressed. The desire is there but, for some reason the vehicle, the language to express  such  reality, I am sad to find out, has been lost. In the past, the ability to communicate at such deep levels was present within humankind, what a gift we have been deprived of and why? So we settle for conversation about the accidentals of life, and never wonder why we are not satisfied. The restlessness we all experience will be with us until we hear those words of welcome to our eternal home," Come you who are the blessed of my Father inherit this eternal kingdom..." We will then find eternal rest, and peace in that place, from which in reality, is our place, of origin. What a mysterious circle we are called travel.

             "You are never too old and it is not too late to dive into your increasing depths where life calmly gives out it's secret... (so) Deeply I go into myself. My God is Dark, and like a webbing made of roots that drink in silence." So Rilke writes. He also writes that we: "Believe in the love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have Faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so LARGE that you can travel as far as you wish without stepping

outside of it...the only journey is within." Despite what my ego wants, to stop all this journeying into uncertainty, the true self will be restless until it rests in its, True Home. This true Home we are given just an introduction to, on this part of the journey. We get a taste of what is awaiting us, so as to encourage us to continue 'our trudge," through this "vale of tears."  We call these moments, our moments on The Mount of Transfiguration. 

Remember how the prophet Jesus, before His "passing over," revealed to The Big Three, Peter, James, and John, His inner light, on The Mount of Transfiguration where His divinity shone through His humanity. Was this to show off? Of course not. It was done so that they would have an inner, deeper, understanding to strengthen them so they would be able to face the coming apparent disaster. Jesus wanted to reveal to them that He was so much more than what they thought, saw, or understood. It was through a long, pain-full process before those Apostles came to understand Who this Prophet, Rabbi Jesus really was. They had to move beyond their relationship and understanding of the historical Jesus, The One who was "WITH THEM" daily as a fellow human being. What an authentic human being that Jesus was. WE do not place enough importance on the humanity of Jesus, through which Our Gracious, Mercy-full, God is revealed to us. Jesus is God in human form.  They too, had to endure a death and resurrection so that they could grow into a new enlightening, and enlivening relationship with the Risen Christ. What agony those early disciples, our ancestors in faith had to endure so that their understanding of the historical Jesus, Who was with them, could give way to the birthing of The Christ, "WITHIN THEM." I wonder how often did the Big Three return in memory to those sacramental moments on their Mount of Transfiguration? I wonder what part that played when question and doubt invaded their hearts, soul and minds?

   The Big Three had only one visit to the Mount, of which we know. We, on the other hand, have many, many visits to that sacramental place, and space. But are we aware of that which is happening to us? Yes, we are privileged to journey again, and again to the place of transfiguration. Jesus "took with Him, Peter, James, and John" up the mountain.  The spirit of that same Jesus, who became the Christ, is with us as we enter our moments of encounter with transfiguration.  These are the sacramental moments when the hidden Presence, breaks through, and we are not able to say anything, but, WOW!!! We, like Peter are tongue tied.  We have no real words to express that depth of feeling welling up from deep inside. We are in those "wow" moments caught up in the wonder, the mystery, The Presence of that which is beyond, thought, feeling, and emotion, it is The Beyond. Is it not very sad when people, places, events, actions, enter into the realm of the familiar? There is no sense of the sacred, the holy. Then we see that person, place, etc. as something we take for granted. We are then well on our way to our own private hell. We are condemning ourselves to dwell in that heartless, soul destructive, life destroying, awe-less, place we call, The Land of the Ordinary, and the Familiar. These two lands do not exist in God's creation. They are illusions we ourselves create, or are forced by the circumstances of poverty, and violence to inhabit. Unless we break free we will just exist, not live. We will die, without ever having lived. How sad is that?

The Gift...

Birthdays are times of gift giving. We, as the church, had a birthday.  This is contained in a fuller understanding of The Feast of Pentecost. Have you had a conscious celebration of this ever new event in your life, and in the continuing life of The Body of Christ? When we do not have a conscious celebration of a significant event then we are not drawn into its deeper meaning. When that is our modus operandi we will not see our lives through the lenses of awe, and wonder. We will never see or come to appreciate the life that is both hidden and revealed in the mystery we call daily living. We will then complain how dull and boring life is. There will be nothing to trigger the awe and wonder that is essential to living life and living it to the fullest, which is our Father-God's dream for you and me. This is a dream we have had to claim again, again, and again.

Religious celebrations allow us to celebrate the deepest reality within us. The purpose of religious practice is not to give us religion, rather it is intended to help us celebrate that which is already present. You do not put religion into a person, it is our challenge to provide the opportunity which allows the person to come to an awareness of what our Gracious God has already placed within each and every person. Regardless of how we see, or what we see in an individual, that is the reality hidden deep within all human beings. This is the in-depth reality which is hidden within each human being. We have at this time of year, three celebrations which provides us with an ever new awareness of this reality.

Pentecost Sunday is the first of three celebrations that reveals to us our great calling, our deep mysterious reality. The celebration of Pentecost is followed by two celebrations of equal mystery and majesty. They are The Feast of The Blessed Trinity and The Feast of Corpus Christi. In the celebration of Pentecost, we will celebrate The Spirit that has descended, has come to bring the new Spirit leading to a new way of living for a community that was discouraged, and doubtful. They needed a new unique spirit to live the new life that was now theirs. This Spirit was to be the living, vitalizing presence of Him who loved His own, and loved them to the end. He left but promised not to abandon them or leave them orphans. That promise is directed toward you and me, as we are their successors and the inheritors of that same promise. "As it was, so it is, and ever shall be." This Spirit will lead us to all truth, as has been promised. We will not ALWAYS like or embrace the Truth. Real Truth will always challenge us, to reach beyond what is easy, and comfortable. I personally do not like this. Then I am told, I do not have to LIKE it. However, I will be led in time to the wonderful promised land of acceptance.

In the celebration of The Holy Trinity, we are drawn into an ever deepening understanding of who is The Family that has chosen our bodies, to be their dwelling place. The Family of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have out of their Triune love for each one of us, have chosen us to live within, "the prisoner of our finiteness." We have within us here on earth, here in our earthly existence, what is present in the life of Heaven. We are temples of the living God. A God who is in reality, a family, living in loving unity. They live within us, so we can make our dwelling with them, as they dwell within us. In that way, we can have here on earth a taste of the life of Heaven. Pretty neat!!! There is this Celtic prayer that has been around for many, many centuries:

'I arise to-day

Through a mighty strength, the invocation of

the Trinity,

Through belief in the threeness,

Through confession of the oneness

of the Creator of Creation.

In time, with grace, can this bring about the change necessary so we will have Guests to visit, rather than PRISONERS to be feared???

The...Newness...Of...Life

What has brought about this "newness of life?" Our encounter with the living Person of Our Lord, and Savior, Jesus the Christ. Our faith teaches us that in each and every encounter with The Risen Christ, we are being transformed into being His living presence. This miracle of grace does not happen with just one encounter. It has to be repeated again and again. When you are preparing Easter eggs, you do not just dip the egg once into the dye, right? You dip, and dip, and dip, and then dip some more. We are not transformed, or transfigured by just one encounter with The Risen Lord. The process takes a whole lifetime as we respond to the challenge that comes with the reception of each ritual sacraments. We slowly grow into an ever deepening understanding of what it means to receive the seven sacraments.  And not only to receive the sacrament, but to come to live more fully, the life we are now called to live. We are to be "the contemporary Christ," How often is there time spent reflecting on, who it is we have encountered, and who it is we are now called to be, as a result of this encounter. If there is no intention of being transformed into the living Presence of The Risen Christ, we will never fulfill the great dream, the aisling, our God has for us, and has had from all of eternity. We are no surprise to God.

In The Sacrament of Baptism we begin our initiation into the Paschal Mystery of Jesus, The Christ. It is an initiation into a mystery, that we will live daily, and never quite understand. Our life's experience will lead us into an ever new understanding of our participation in The Paschal Mystery. Again and again, we will be drawn into the understanding that our suffering is the continuation of Christ's suffering. Christ's suffering leads to death, Resurrection, and new life, so too, for us, new life will appear in the same place where death was experienced. This endless cycle of death and rebirth into new life, is the destiny, the vocation, for those who are chosen. The mysterious action of saving grace will keep us in wonderment our whole life long. Wonder leads to prayer. I cannot help but think about all that Henri Nouwen had to go through to be able to write the following? (This is Jesus Christ speaking to you and I):  "I am your God, I have molded you with my hands, and I love what I have made.  I love you with a love that knows no limits, because I love you as I love myself.  Do not run away from me.  Come back to me--not once, not twice, but always. You are my child. How can you doubt that I will embrace you again?  I am your God--the God of mercy and compassion, the God of pardon and love, the God of tenderness and care.  Please, do not say that I have given up on you.  It is not true.  I so, much want you to be close to me.  I know all your thoughts.  I hear all your words.  I see all your actions.  Because you are beautiful, made in my image, an expression of my most intimate love, do not judge yourself.  Do not condemn yourself.  Do not reject yourself.  Let my love reveal to you your own beauty, a beauty that you have lost sight of, but which will become visible to you again in the light of my mercy.  Let me wipe your tears, and whisper in your ear, "I love you, I love you."

                     The only response to those wonder-full words is silence. They are too much for us. They speak the truth, but can we hear, listen, and embrace these radical, life enhancing words?  It is difficult, is it not, they are just too good to  believe?  We are told if something is too good, we are not to be taken in, we are to run away from it.  God knows that and asks us "not to run away" from His/Her infinite, prodigal love.  Now do this.  Go back and read the words again, but insert your name before "I am." You are now going to pray; John, Pat, Pablo, Lupe, Maria…I am your God..." Read the words slowly and allow them to penetrate into the depths.  In the depths where they will encounter The Blessed Trinity Who dwells eternally in those same depths.  The result, a party, a celebration that has no end in this life. This celebration will continue into eternity, and through all of eternity.  As we celebrate in the here and now, so will our eternity be.  Now that is downright scary.  So we need to heed the call of our Initiation.  We must of necessity, seek out and search out all that is ours because of our Encounter with The Paschal Mystery, and allow ourselves to be drawn beyond ourselves. We spend forty days to prepare for this mystery and then spend three full days in celebration.  We are now in the 50 days it will take us to delve into what this mystery means, as we live out our daily lives.

Each, and every action will reveal to you and me, some aspect of the dying, burial, rising, and Ascension, of Our Living Lord. There is no event or action that is neutral.  All have sacramental value.  This will reveal to us a new way of living.  To complete Paschal Mystery, we ask for the Spirit for this new, never before lived life.  This takes us to the land of ever newness.  In this land of "ever newness" the truth of Henri's words will become a lived experience.  There will always forces in our lives that want to prevent this happening.  They are doing the devil's work.  Satan, "the prosecuting attorney," will do all in his power to trigger our denial of who we are in God's love. He has his agents.  They are the ones who are so ready to judge, to condemn, to punish, when we do not measure up to their stringent rules. They are today's Pharisees.  They are encountered both within and outside.  Their voices are never still.  So, we are called to be vigilant, ever vigilant.  Just as The Prophet Jesus had trouble with them, so we too, as followers of Him today, will have the same trouble.  They were nasty then, and they are nasty now.  To make matters worse they give you the idea they are speaking for God.  But it is not the compassionate, mercy-full God of Jesus Christ.  We have met Him above, and He/She is a God of life, not death.  The Pharisee(s) create an array of idols, false gods.  They create idols.  Idols that are made in their image and likeness.  These idols do not give life, they only destroy.  The living God of Jesus Christ wants to bestow life on us, and bestow it in abundance. We have that battle of the voices of negativity each and every moment we are given to live.  The quality of my life will depend on which voice I am listening to and responding to.  We have been given The Paraclete, The Defense Attorney, who never tires of defending us, so we will never have to face any attack on our own, or by ourselves.  May each reception of The Ritual Sacraments lead us always beyond our fears, to the discovery of the newness of the life our God has wished for each one.  May the reality, the certainty of "the beyond" bring an ever deepening sense of awe and  wonder, leading to an ever present excitement for the journey to our God, and with our God.

The...Desert...Shepherd

Lent and "the desert journey" are synonymous.  There is a mystery revealed to us, ever new, as we trudge the days, and the weeks of Lent.  This is a mystery that has been hidden from some, but revealed to those who have been blessed with the courage to leave comfort behind,  and take the risk of entering upon  a desert hike/journey.   As the result of each lived moment we are new.  The grace encountered in each now moment  continues to perfect creation.  We are  all essential parts of this perfecting, while remaining always perfectly, imperfect creation.   With our belief in this process of an ever new creation there comes a great challenge.   We are challenged to leave behind the old.   In more frightening words,  we are challenged to let go, be emptied,  of all that we are certain of, of all that we are secure in, so as to journey into the unknown.   This is a great paradigm for our journey into The Unknown,  and the Unknowable.   All of this newness carries with it a tacit  demand for  a newness within us as well as we enter into, reflect on,  and participate in The Paschal Mystery.   Our Lent 2017 must result in a new way of seeing, that This Mystery we have been Baptized into is not only relevant  but vitalizing, life giving source as we live out, "the here and now."  We will have to reflect on, chew on, become familiar within a new way,  "Now is the acceptable time, now is the time of salvation."   Salvation comes to us as we allow the present moment to be all that it is, nothing more, nothing less.  It is what it is, and it's essential is-ness is hidden and revealed in The Source of all reality.   A moment then, is a sacrament in and through which  all the necessary  grace,  all the strengthening love needed, is channeled into our being.  On our part, we have to develop the trust and faith that IS happening, even though we do not have a clue as to how.   Here is a good place for; " I believe Lord, help my unbelief/disbelief." 

Why then are we invited, not compelled,  by Mother Church to make this yearly journey in faith?   Why is it that once is not enough?   Well, we do not go to school for a day, and then decide not to return anymore.   We have to return again and again so we can GROW in our understanding.   This "growing" is a process, and as such, can be very boring, and uninviting, to say the least.  How many children fight school, and all that it demands of them?   We cannot see the future, so we, as children,  have to trust that what we are asked to do will be beneficial to us in the long run.   Over these many years I have developed a trust in what is taught in The School of Lent.   I have not enjoyed that which I had to go through, but the end result is beyond what one could hope for.   The School  of Lent is situated in the desert.   Not a very inviting place to live in.   Hike in for a limited time, oh! yes, but to live in no.   It is so dry desolate, harsh,  and unforgiving of mistakes.  At the beginning of desert trails, there are a number of warnings posted to draw attention to the dangers that may be encountered.  Yet, how many are drawn to hike, again and again into a place that at first, seems to have nothing to offer?   As a result of constant journeys, hikes, something happens.   The reality behind the desert seems to reach out and embrace us in a very mysterious way.   There is no way to explain it.   Poets, artists, composers,  photographers, have all made attempts, to capture and to convey the essence of the mystery of the desert.   All of necessity have come up short.   I suppose that is why we will continue to read poems, read books, listen to music, take photographs in the vain hope that in some way the mystery of the desert will be at last revealed.   Part of me knows this will never happen.  Yet there is another part that will never stop the seeking and the searching for that which I cannot here describe.   I will, God willing, return again and again to the desert, so as to become more comfortable with the desert within me.   A desert I just do not visit every now and then, but a desert in which "I live and move and have my being,"  My yearly Lenten desert experience somehow offers me that certain something which gives me the courage to journey ever deeper into the all that The Prophet Jesus, was sent to teach.  As I look back on the many, many,  desert journeys again, I shudder, as I have previously shuddered and recoiled from depths of nothingness one is brought to.   

 There is the great consolation knowing that in the desert we are not alone.   In the desert we are NEVER alone.   We read in the scriptures  that Jesus was led, driven, into the desert by the Spirit.  The desert awaited Him to be His place in which He will be tempted.   In the desert, Jesus was tempted to deny His humanity.  In overcoming temptation, Jesus reaffirmed His enfleshment in our humanity.   Our humanity and the humanity of Jesus was the same broken, unredeemed humanity you and I take up each day.  Our Gracious Creator God did not have one humanity for us, but a better and more improved one for His Beloved Son.   We all share a oneness in  having the same humanity.   "Jesus is like unto us in everything, except sin,  and He died because of His love for us sinners.   Jesus was to use His humanity to full fill His appointed mission.   Jesus said that He was to preach good news to the poor.  He was to proclaim liberty to the captives.  He was to proclaim recovery of sight, to the blind.  He was to proclaim, let the captives go free.  He was to proclaim an acceptable year to the Lord."  (Luke 4.  ) All of what He came  to proclaim, and not only to proclaim but to actually physically do,  I need.   That need drives me out to the desert so I can with the mind, heart, and soul of my present being, hear for the first time, that which is from old, and speaks to me in the right now. 

 This Lent I must bring my new found poverty,  which has been revealed through daily living, to Him who embraced all poverty.  To make the necessary room for our poverty The Eternal Word emptied Himself of His Divinity so as to become incarnate in our broken humanity.   He knew from His human experience what it meant to be hungry, to be betrayed, to be beaten, to lose so much as to be existentially broken, and abandoned.   He was so grieved with the loss of His friend Lazarus, that He cried.  Jesus also cried over Jerusalem, because of her rejection of Him.   So go out to encounter anew, He Who is the bearer of good and Is The Good News.  I come not to tell Him anything new, but in the owning, and in the telling I receive a new understanding.   In the owning and revelation of my broken, wounded, hardened heart, which feels  like a death, something mysterious happens.  A new understanding will, in time be given.  This gift in time, leads to a new heart.   It will lead to a less hardened heart.  A less judgmental heart.   A more compassionate heart becomes more of a reality from the encounter with Compassion Itself.  The old fears of not being "good enough," of not being worthy of love, slowly give way to a new and a more, healthy, freeing love relationship.  The reality of being the beloved slowly brightens the horizon bring with it the promise of greater joy.   Not happiness, joy is now a choice. 

 When I prepare to go on a desert hike, I have to make sure I have all that is necessary for physical survival.   Water, food,  sunscreen, proper clothing, map, telephone, hat,  good boots,  etc.  are essential for safety.   For the inner desert journey there must be a different mindset.   I am going to encounter The Desert Shepherd, Who IS my only source of real food, and real drink.   He is a living stream that I just do not visit, but I come to understand is the source of life giving water that springs eternal,  deep within.  I come so ashamed of my nakedness, only to be clothed with the dignity of being a fellow beloved son/daughter.  I can now walk unashamed into a freedom hard to understand or explain.   It can only be lived.