Saturday, September 25, 2010

Discipline...to Nourish Our Spiritual Life

After I was ordained in 1963 I visited a Catholic store. Even then, I was always looking for good books to read. I am sorry to say you could not find too many books to choose from. Today go to any bookstore and you will find row after row of books on the spiritual life and journey. There are also books on the lives of those who have gone before us. They are the men and women who are looked at as the guides and trail blazers. Spiritual reading is now commonplace. Why? Here are some of the thoughts of Henri Nouwen:

"An important discipline in the life of the Spirit is spiritual reading. Through spiritual reading we have some say over what enters our minds. Each day our society bombards us with a myriad of images and sounds. ..words yell and scream at us; "drink me, buy me, hire me, look at me, talk with me. But do we really want our minds to become the garbage can of the world? Do we want our minds to be filled with things that confuse us, excite us, depress us, arouse us, repulse us, or attract us whether we think it is good for us or not? Do we want to let others decide what enters our mind and determines our thoughts and feelings? Clearly we do not, but it requires real discipline to let God and not the world be the Lord of our minds. But that asks of us not just to be gentle as doves, but also cunning as serpents! Therefore, spiritual reading is such a helpful discipline. Is there a book we are presently reading, a book that we have selected because it nurtures our mind and brings us closer to God? Our thoughts and feelings would be deeply affected if we were always to carry with us a book that puts our minds again and again in the direction we want to go. There are so many good books about the lives of holy men and women, about remarkable examples of peace-making, about communities that bring life to the poor and the oppressed, about the spiritual life itself. Even if we were to read for only fifteen minutes a day in such a book, we would find our mind becoming less of a garbage can and more a vase filled with good thoughts. The great value of spiritual reading is that it helps us to give meaning to our lives. Without meaning, human life degenerates. The human person not only wants to live, but also wants to know how to live. A life that is not reflected upon eventually loses its meaning, and becomes boring."

It does take discipline to do what is necessary to preserve and nourish our spiritual life. It also demands that we be generous with ourselves when deciding how we are to spend our time. How many when they look at their day will put aside time for themselves FIRST? This is time that is going to be spend in a way that nothing is going to show up in the area of power, property or prestige? We are so programmed to want to see results that we lose sight of what the scriptures warns about, " What is seen is transitory, what is unseen lasts forever".

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Blame has to .....STOP!

A butterfly does not immediately immerge from its cocoon, it takes it time. Time and effort are essential ingredients for a butterfly to immerge healthy. The struggle to be released from the cocoon is necessary for it to have healthy wings. For it to be able to fly, there is the necessary struggle. In the same way, a chick immerging from its shell, cannot be helped by the mother, otherwise there is a price to be paid. The birthing process does involve pain, ask any mother. We too have to accept the fact that for us to become who God intended us to become, this too demands time ,effort, and yes……
pain. The one thing we must constantly guard against is adding to the pain that is ours, on this oh so human journey as spiritual beings. God came that we would have life and have it abundantly. We are called to a life of freedom, not fear. We are called to fly as free as butterflies. That is God's dream for you and I. We are the Aisling of God, living out the Aisling of God. We are the incarnation of a dream, of God. Pretty neat? We must work, work, and work on the ongoing understanding of being loved as this ever unique dream. We must keep reminding ourselves we are limited, never perfect. This is necessary for us to immerge from the cocoon of limited understanding.

As much as we want and strive to be perfect, in this life, will never be ours. That is reserved for the next life, the resurrected life. So, in the meantime we must concentrate on enjoying the life God has given us to lead. The same human existence, God as human, lived. A life we live very imperfectly. Yet somehow all of this is part of God's dream. A dream we are created for, and invited to both enjoy, and celebrate. One of the weapons we use to sabotage this wonder-full dream is BLAME. As I promised last week, here is the quotation I received and wish to pass it on to you. Read this slowly and listen to what these words say to you. What comfort do you see being offered to you for your daily living? John Powell in one of his books, "Happiness is an Inside Job" writes; "Growth begins when the blaming stops"!!!!!!!!

Nouwen's quote:

"You must avoid not only blaming others but also blaming yourself. You are inclined to blame yourself for the difficulties you experience in relationships. But self-blame is not a form of humility. [oops ... thought I was a little holy with all the self-bashing.] It is a form of self-rejection in which you ignore or deny your own goodness and beauty.

When a friendship does not blossom, when a word is not received, do not blame it on yourself. This is both untrue and hurtful. Every time you reject yourself, you idealize others. You want to be with those whom you consider better, stronger, more intelligent, more gifted than yourself. Thus you make yourself emotionally dependent, leading others to feel unable to fulfill your expectations and causing them to withdraw from you. This makes you blame yourself even more, and you enter a dangerous spiral of self-rejection and neediness.

Avoid all forms of self-rejection. Acknowledge your limitations, but claim your unique gifts and thereby live as an equal among equals. That will set you free from your obsessive and possessive needs and enable you to give and receive true affection and friendship."

Until next week...LIVE the dream!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Become....A Butterfly...

Acceptance is tough, hard and difficult, but it is the only real road, to an ever-deepening spiritual life. Acceptance of who we really are, is first and foremost a process. A process we all, at least for me, we will make every effort to avoid. I am wondering out loud here, is this the reason there is so little use being made of the Sacrament of Reconciliation? We are told reconciliation with who we are, is a process as well. The one gift that can make these two processes worthwhile, however painful, is gut honesty. We grow slowly in that deep honesty of who we really are. This process is made somewhat easier when we have a person in our lives, who bestows unconditioned, unlimited, and unrestricted love on us, especially in times when we have abandoned who we are, out of toxic shame. That toxic shame wants to give the message, which is contrary to our deepest reality. The message of toxic shame is we are not good enough, we are not smart enough, we are not beautiful enough, and blah, blah, blah.....All of that is a LIE, and the source of the lie is 'the father of all lies - Satan". When we listen to the voice of toxic shame, we are giving ear to The Devil, rather than to the voice of the Spirit of Truth. This Voice of God then, because God IS Truth, tells us from deep within that we are loved as we are, without condition, restriction or reservation. This battle wages on and on and on. It is our every moment, daily struggle. We have to make this choice, each and every moment, am I the beloved, with all that it means, or will I be duped into the lie I am not, and never will be good enough? This question lies ever before you and I. Will I work on being spiritually healthy, and live a life of freedom as the beloved daughter/son, or will I live out my life in the unmitigated hell of being spiritually sick? The popular word for that today is, being codependent. This will mean what? Simple, I will choose to live out my God given life, not with the real God as my guide, I have replaced that God with the dis-eased view of a limited human being.

A healthy relationship is always pointing to THE LOVE relationship between us and God. It is to bring the freedom, peace, love, joy, and happiness is a by-product of this mysterious reality. Yes!! Happiness is a by-product. A healthy relationship is the cocoon from which emerges the wonder-full, beautiful butterfly, which is who we are in God's love. The butterfly is destined to fly free, that is our destiny as well. Does it always happen for us? No, sad to say it does not. Never fear, we are given what it takes to fly free, it is the ability to make healthy choices. There are times when we will have to let go of controlling people in our lives, so we can walk in the freedom of who we really are. WE will have to establish boundaries, with individuals who have no concept of boundaries. We will have to say "I love you but I cannot have you in my life", and stick with that decision despite all the efforts of friends, and FAMILY. I recommend the book, "Boundaries”. If you do not like to read, go to a bookstore and read the chapter beginning on page 103. That will give you great permission to live your new life of freedom, which is God's wish for you. Then read the chapter, beginning on page 83, and see what message is there for you. By the way, there is also another life changing book by the same authors, Cloud & Townsend, this is called “Boundaries with Kids". After this, your kids will not allow you to read this blog any more. Guess what? You will not pay any attention to them, Why? Simply put, there is a new sheriff in town. I am reminded of a cartoon I had on my office door at St. A's. There was this man speaking to a woman, saying the following; "I liked you better, before you learned to love yourself".

To further enhance you and your freedom, the following was gifted to me by a dear friend, and I want to share it. It is from who else?
Henri Nouwen.

On Second thought...this is long enough, I will save it for next week.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Acceptance is one of Life's Greatest Challenges...

I was able to pick up Fr. Rolheiser's great book, "The Holy Longing”, at a bargain price in a thrift shop. Thrift shops are a favorite haunt of mine. I have been able to buy some great books and wonderful music, at unbelievable prices. There are two fantastic chapters in the above book. One chapter is on the Spirituality of The Paschal Mystery, and the other is on the Spirituality of Sexuality.
Both these chapters are a daily read. In this book Fr. Rolheiser quotes Henri Nouwen;

"Our life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment of our life. There is a quality of sadness that pervades all moments of our life. It seems there is no such thing as clear-cut pure joy, but that even in the most happy moments of our existence we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of limitations. In every success, there is fear of jealousy. Behind every smile, there is a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And, in all forms of light, there is the knowledge of surrounding darkness....But this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched with a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence. It can do so by making us look forward in expectation to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, a joy no one shall take away from us."

Then Fr. Rolheiser writes the following commentary: "What Nouwen affirms here, in simple language, is what Christian Theology means when it tells us we are living in the interim eschatological age. We are living in that time between Christ’s Resurrection (the initial triumph of God’s promise to give us fulfillment) and the final consummation of that promise, the end of time (when all tears will be wiped away).
During that time, and it is an interim time, we will always live in tension, waiting for the final consummation of history and our lives. Our happiness depends not on overcoming this, which we cannot do in any case, but in making peace with it. And that peace is not made by a stoic acceptance that we cannot have it all in this life. It is made by living our incompleteness in face of a future promise.

To live in the interim eschatological age to be like a couple waiting to be married who, for a good reason (for example the death of a parent), have chosen to postpone their marriage for a period of time. There is a certain frustration in that, but that frustration is offset by the clear knowledge that this is only a temporary delay, soon to be overcome. Our essential “inconsummation” in this life must be understood in this way. The frustration is real, but it is, as Nouwen so well puts it, something we will one day overcome, albeit that day will not meet us in this life.

“To understand the time we live in, is to be less frustrated with the fact that it cannot offer us the final symphony." Our spiritual journey, then, is the everyday living in that reality. Fr. Rolheiser hits it right on the head when he points out it we are dealing with real frustration, and that frustration is now. We do not deal with this frustration by fighting it, no use we cannot win, or by making attempts to fix it, which we ourselves cannot, it is somehow in the acceptance that we are able to arrive at some peace. Acceptance of who we are, and who God is, in that reality lies the key. God is God, and we are not. WE have the great, deep desire, given to us by our God, to be totally one, once again. That is our journey into a oneness with who we are, and in that process we find union with Him, who is our Source, and Destiny.

The Psalmist provides us with those wonderful lines, "out of the depths I cry to you o Lord. Lord hear my cry." When we allow ourselves to taste the essential helplessness, hopelessness, and powerlessness of who we are as human beings, then our Savior God will come to us with those consoling word, "My Beloved here I am. I am always standing beside you. I will not, I cannot desert, abandon you. You are to me as beloved as your brother Jesus. The love I have for the both of you is the same.” Can you believe that? It is not the reality that you have difficulty with, it is a deepening faith that will bring you to that place. It is yours to have. Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it will be opened to you. Always keep in mind, “My ways, are not your ways”. My time is not the way you figure time. I will come at a time and in the places you least expect. “It has been this way, and as it was so it shall ever be." I believe Lord, help my unbelief/disbelief.

Unbelief...Disbelief...

I was able to pick up Fr. Rolheiser's great book, "The Holy Longing”, at a bargain price in a thrift shop. Thrift shops are a favorite haunt of mine. I have been able to buy some great books and wonderful music, at unbelievable prices. There are two fantastic chapters in the above book. One chapter is on the Spirituality of The Paschal Mystery, and the other is on the Spirituality of Sexuality.
Both these chapters are a daily read. In this book Fr. Rolheiser quotes Henri Nouwen;

"Our life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment of our life. There is a quality of sadness that pervades all moments of our life. It seems there is no such thing as clear-cut pure joy, but that even in the most happy moments of our existence we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of limitations. In every success, there is fear of jealousy. Behind every smile, there is a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And, in all forms of light, there is the knowledge of surrounding darkness....But this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched with a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence. It can do so by making us look forward in expectation to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, a joy no one shall take away from us."

Then Fr. Rolheiser writes the following commentary: "What Nouwen affirms here, in simple language, is what Christian Theology means when it tells us we are living in the interim eschatological age. We are living in that time between Christ’s Resurrection (the initial triumph of God’s promise to give us fulfillment) and the final consummation of that promise, the end of time (when all tears will be wiped away).
During that time, and it is an interim time, we will always live in tension, waiting for the final consummation of history and our lives. Our happiness depends not on overcoming this, which we cannot do in any case, but in making peace with it. And that peace is not made by a stoic acceptance that we cannot have it all in this life. It is made by living our incompleteness in face of a future promise.

To live in the interim eschatological age to be like a couple waiting to be married who, for a good reason (for example the death of a parent), have chosen to postpone their marriage for a period of time. There is a certain frustration in that, but that frustration is offset by the clear knowledge that this is only a temporary delay, soon to be overcome. Our essential “inconsummation” in this life must be understood in this way. The frustration is real, but it is, as Nouwen so well puts it, something we will one day overcome, albeit that day will not meet us in this life.

“To understand the time we live in, is to be less frustrated with the fact that it cannot offer us the final symphony." Our spiritual journey, then, is the everyday living in that reality. Fr. Rolheiser hits it right on the head when he points out it we are dealing with real frustration, and that frustration is now. We do not deal with this frustration by fighting it, no use we cannot win, or by making attempts to fix it, which we ourselves cannot, it is somehow in the acceptance that we are able to arrive at some peace. Acceptance of who we are, and who God is, in that reality lies the key. God is God, and we are not. WE have the great, deep desire, given to us by our God, to be totally one, once again. That is our journey into a oneness with who we are, and in that process we find union with Him, who is our Source, and Destiny.

The Psalmist provides us with those wonderful lines, "out of the depths I cry to you o Lord. Lord hear my cry." When we allow ourselves to taste the essential helplessness, hopelessness, and powerlessness of who we are as human beings, then our Savior God will come to us with those consoling word, "My Beloved here I am. I am always standing beside you. I will not, I cannot desert, abandon you. You are to me as beloved as your brother Jesus. The love I have for the both of you is the same.” Can you believe that? It is not the reality that you have difficulty with, it is a deepening faith that will bring you to that place. It is yours to have. Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it will be opened to you. Always keep in mind, “My ways, are not your ways”. My time is not the way you figure time. I will come at a time and in the places you least expect. “It has been this way, and as it was so it shall ever be." I believe Lord, help my unbelief/disbelief.