Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas!

It is that time when my heartfelt wish for you is that the Christmas/Epiphany Season will be one filled with the choicest of God's graces. Blessings that will lead to an ever deepening understanding of who you are and who you have chosen to be, in the universal plan of God. May the conviction that you are the continuation of the Mystery of the Incarnation, lead you to a life filled with the Advent gifts of Peace, Joy and Love.

Retirement continues and I am learning to enjoy it more and more. It is tough work, but that kind of "tough work" I am very willing to take on. I had another long trip this summer. The highlight was the 28 days I was privileged to spend at Dolly's cabin. Just before vacation began, I had to be part of a very sad and difficult goodbye to Dolly. It was a whole different feeling being at the cabin this year. I have now been able to spend an astounding 75 days in yellowstone over the last three years. These days are awe-full and wonder-full. I have about 1,000 photos to process from my trip. The vast majority are from Yellowstone.

I was hiking on the Howard Easton trail all by my lonesome. The thought came to me this really could be bear territory. With that, from a very close proximity there was the rustle of branches. When I looked in the direction of the noise, I saw a black bear taking off at great speed. I was later told a black bear can hit between 35-40 miles an hour. I am so glad he took off in the opposite direction from whwere I was intending to go. I now have a deeper respect for that animal. It was so exhilarating to be able to witness such speed. T?he next morning I was lucky to see a huge grizzly. He was about a quarter of a mile away. I have him/her in my camera. I have had the priviliege of seeing 10 bears in the wild. Five blacks and five grizzlies. I also had a very challenging episode at 8,000 feet, ;lus with driving rain, hailstones, heavy wind, thunder and lightening. I was able to get two blogs out of that encounter with Mother Nature. You can read about that in the blog. Some of you have read of that adventure, so I will not bore you.

Then it was brought home to me, Joe you are getting old. I began to be in real pain from my arthritis. Also, a spot on my face began to hurt as well. That spot has caused a lot of trouble over these many years. The end result was I had a shorter vacation. I was glad to get back to the warmth of Arizona. Since I ahve returned the arthritic pain has gotten go much better. I recently had surgery on the troublesome spot. It was cancerous, so it was a good move to return early. It took 21 stitches to close the wound. I am looking more and more like a Raiders fan. (They are looking pretty good this year.) Life is continuing and I am still helping out wherever there is a need.

I came across the following on the internet. I have used it on weekends, and I am thinking it would be a great gift for you, as individuals, as couples, as families, as you conintue your journey to your God, and with your God. It is called "the Advent Virus
, and has been penned by that well known author, Anonymous. My prayer for you is that you will be infected and affected by this virus and the effects last with you long after the AdventChristmas/Epiphany season has passed into memory. The following are some of the signs and symptoms of this wonder-full virus to be infected with and infected by.

An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
A loss of interest in judging others.
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
A loss of interest in conflict.
A loss of ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)
Frequent, overwhelming episodes of gratitude.
Contented feelings, connectedness with others and nature.
Frequent attacks of smiling.
An increasing tendency to let things happen, rather than make them happen.
A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fear based on past experience.
An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others
as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

There is that wish expressed in song, would that every day be Christmas Day. Well let us all join in a great conspiracy to nourish the above virus. It will be then that the non-believers will be led to the belief. Yes, God did come and true to His promise, He is still with us. yes, He is as He said, Immanuel.

The Blessings of The Christ Child be on your and yours,
Fr. Joe (aka Papa J.)

Monday, December 20, 2010

Mary and Elizabeth.....Part 2

This week we all woke up to some serious fog. One would think we lived by the ocean, where morning fog is the norm. When one drives in coastal fog one goes in and out of fog banks. When you are in the fog you feel like you will never see sunlight again. Then you enter the sunlight and are under the false impression on will never be in the fog again!!! Wrong. The coastal drive is all about entering the fog, leaving the fog, and entering the fog again, again, and again. That is exactly the way our faith journey is. It is that way for all. It takes honesty to admit it. We admire strong people of faith who were able to meet the challenge of being faithful. That is all that we can have, is the desire to be faithful. What follows is the way we are called to live out our personal faith journey. Each journey is unique, one of a kind. We can never, and I repeat never compare our faith journey with anybody else's. To want another's journey is, the denial of one’s own uniqueness. Yes!! It is hard work to cooperate with God's grace and so come to one’s own unique understanding of the relationship between one self and the power outside of ourselves on which we know we are dependent. That is the essence and the foundation of ALL religion. In Mary and Elizabeth we have two real giants in the realm of faith.

Last week we left off with the arrival of Mary at the home of Elizabeth. Mary must have had to shout a greeting, as she was not expected, "Shalom, Elizabeth are you at home? It is me Mary". Then we have the reaction of Elizabeth. She explodes with joy and happiness. Both she and her unborn son are graced. First, John in the womb, and through him Elizabeth. She, through the power of the Spirit is able to recognize Mary, for who she is, the mother of the coming Savior. The lives of their sons will be interlocked. What John will go through, so will Jesus. Elizabeth's spirit filled greeting loosed within Mary the reality of her truth. Elizabeth was the instrument through which God's grace was channeled to Mary, resulting in her ability to vocalize her reality. From that grace filled encounter we have the awe-full prayer of Mary, also called The Magnificat. It is the prayer of the humble servant, who recognizes her greatness as the result of, the present mercy of her God. She reiterates God's past Goodness to His chosen people and what was the result of His faithfulness. She sings a song warning of God's justice. A theme her Son was to echo when He described what His Ministry was to be about, "I have come to preach good news to the poor ..to proclaim liberty to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to release the oppressed." So much of Mary's faith had of necessity be passed on the Jesus. The apple does not fall too far from the tree.

This Season of Advent reveals within us anew Mary and Elizabeth. Who have you identified as your Elizabeth? The one that recognizes you as the present day carrier of the Christ? Who have you been Elizabeth to? Who have you encouraged to be faithful to the call of making the Incarnation a deeper reality in a very hostile world? Where is the suffering in your life, where Christ is hidden in the pain so as to reveal to you a new creation. A reality never planned of expected, but now a reality. We are brought to an ever newer understanding of those words, "With God all things are possible...". Where do you see and reverence the Mary within you, be you man or woman? Women have such a head start in the understanding of this birthing process. We men, have to suffer deeper and longer, before we come to the point of realizing and accepting both Mary and Elizabeth within.
What is your personal Magnificat? What is your song of joy, not happiness, springing from the realization of the constant Presence of a merciful God whose presence has not been recognized but in this Advent has broken through the fog? What are the WOW moments that forces a song of joy and thanksgiving, just like Mary? Are you going stop have an individual song, a couples song, or the song of a family? What a wonder-full Christmas tradition this would be? Now what a great treasure would be in the making, if all the "Magnificat" spoken were written down and passed on from generation to generation. What a store house of Good News would be part and parcel of your family. How are you going to pass on the story of today's Mary and Elizabeth as it is experienced in your life, and in the lives of your loved ones? As Mary and Elizabeth were graced and blessed, so you are graced and blessed by the same Source. There was not one grace for Mary, Elizabeth, John, and Jesus, and a lesser one for you and I! We are somehow all one and that makes us all one, in His love.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Two Strong Women....(part one)

Mary, is very much an Advent person. Within these last few days we have had the celebration of The Immaculate Conception, and the feast of Our lady of Guadalupe. As we reflect on the scriptures, Mary was not alone in her "patient expectation" as she awaited the birth of her Son, Our Lord and Savior Jesus, who was to become The Christ of God. She had the companionship of another strong woman, her cousin Elizabeth. When we are confused, and stressed, we always need to have the wisdom of the ages available to us. So it was, with Mary. She had Elizabeth, and the latter recognizes the person who blessed her with her presence. With the presence of Mary came another Presence.

Mary and Elizabeth, so different and yet so many wonder-full similarities. Both strong women, and individuals of deep, deep faith. One, Mary, the teenager, the other, Elizabeth, a woman of many years. She is many years beyond her child bearing years. Yet, miracles of miracles, she finds herself pregnant. What were those many years like when she had to suffer the agony and the shame of being childless? In the culture of her time she lived out her life in disgrace, because God did not grace her with the vocation of motherhood. She had the desire, and nothing, until now. Mary, who was she? A young woman betrothed to, but not as yet living with, her intended. She was preparing to be married, but was not preparing, to be a mother. That would would come, with God's blessing, at some future time, but not right now. For Mary, the future became a reality, right now. Her pregnancy was not the result of her and Joseph’s plans. Her pregnancy was the result of the plans, of the Ultimate Planner, God. Yet, The Planner, The Almighty God, had to wait for Mary's "YES". What conflict Mary must have been in. Here she was still a virgin and is being asked to say, yes, to a child. What was Joseph going to think? How was this going to work out with family and friends? What if Joseph's family wanted their money back? The questions must have been many for that conflicted teen. She was invited to say yes to something that made no sense to her. Yet from the depths of who she really was, the chosen one, the gifted one, the graced one from all of eternity, she was able to muster what is now know as the ,"FIAT of Mary";

“I am the servant of the Lord, let it be to me according to His will.” ~ Mary said not my will but your will be done!

So the long and difficult journey began. A journey that would take her to Bethlehem, on to Egypt, and on to Nazareth. Mary was promised that her Child would have the throne of David, what were her thoughts as she stood by the throne, of the cross? Her son was not crowned with a crown of gold, his crown was a crown of thorns? I like to ask this question, "Was Mary the most deceived woman in the scriptures?” Dispirited, disillusioned/ Not Mary. We see how strong in faith she was as she was in that room, with the other followers of her son, when The Spirit Of that same Son descended, "and the world was turned upside right". She was present when a new birthing of her Son took place. The physical body she gave birth to was now to have a Mystical presence.

So we have two strong women, chosen and blessed. One seeks out the other, and they meet. What an explosion resulted from that encounter. An encounter happens when those involved in the event look beyond the obvious, and come to see, and own the deeper reality. From that spiritual explosion was released blessings that have filtered down to you and I, these many centuries later. Gifts that must not be taken for granted. When taken for granted, leaves us empty, disheartened, and disillusioned with life. Gifts when reflected on, under the guidance of The Holy Spirit in prayer, adds vim, vigor, and vitality, to our lives. Our liturgical celebrations then take on a new meaning, leading to the deeper living of a life of peace, joy, and love. We then have Advent time, all the time.

Next week we will take a look, and a listen to the words and actions of Mary and Elizabeth. In the mean time take some time to reflect on these questions;

* Mary is present within me, each and every day.*
~ Where do I encounter her?
~ Who is Elizabeth for me right now?
~ Who do I choose to be Elizabeth to?

Reflect on the following, as individuals, as couples and as families.
“I, (we) will sing a new song. As difficult as it is, I must learn the new song that is capable of meeting the new need. I must fashion new words born of all the new growth in my life. My mind, and my spirit. I must prepare for new melodies that have never been mine before, that all that is within me may lift my voice unto God. How wiIl love, the old familiarity of the wearied melody, shrink from the harsh discords of new untried harmonies. Teach me, my Father, that I might learn the abandonment and enthusiasm of Jesus, the fresh new accent, the untried melody, to meet the need of the untried tomorrow.” ( Howard Thurman, "Meditations of the Heart" )

Where will you allow that to take you to? Mary, and Elizabeth gave voice, what words do they speak to and through you, right now?

Saturday, December 4, 2010

A virus to desire......or avoid?

As I enjoyed my cereal this morning, I read the following in the daily paper; “The well of Providence is deep. It's the buckets we bring to it that are small.” So wrote a Scottish religious leader, at the turn of the last century. I would like to suggest, it is not about just the size of the bucket, it also depends on the condition of the bucket. If I want the bucket of my soul to be filled up, I must make sure there is no garbage taking up the space, we are inviting our Gracious God to fill up. Our spiritual garbage has been described in the following manner;
G...Guilt,
A...anger,
R..resentment,
B..boredom,
A..anxiety,
G..greed, and
E...envy.
Being spiritual beings on a human journey, we are very much aware of the garbage we encounter in the daily living of our lives. We must not allow that garbage to detract from the wonder, and the mystery of who we are and the dignity that is ours, as the result of our God's plan for us. We must continue to allow God to fine tune the lens of our faith so we become more and more enlightened. We must actively invite our God to awaken in us the real depth His love for us, and to the life He has called us to live. Advent is a time we are given to re-orientate ourselves so we will become more available. Advent is an opportunity to stop, yes!! STOP, and reevaluate what is the real in depth meaning of this precious time, and season. One person has written, "Christmas renews our youth by stirring our wonder. The capacity for wonder has been called our most pregnant human faculty, for in it are born our art, science, and religion."

We pray then, for a greater sense of wonder so we can ,again and again, be lost in the awe-full mystery of our God, a God who left His lofty Heavenly Home, and throne, to come and make His dwelling place, our dwelling place. Yes, our God left His power and majesty behind. He deliberately emptied Him. He came in emptiness, so the bucket of His soul could be filled up with the powerlessness of our humanity. He who has all power, came to us in the vulnerability of a little newborn baby. We wonder and wonder and never exhaust the mystery. Each and every Christmas we are led into the wonder-fullness of the Bethlehem event that took place so many years ago, yet happens again and again, ever new, in the Bethlehem of our souls.

So the can this season of Advent be seen as a time of emptying out, rather than of gathering up? How do we empty ourselves, so as to be ready to receive the fullness of Him who came to model in His life, what we are in the hope to imitate in ours. His life, is our life today, so that where we are, He is. His Incarnation continues on in the life you and I live, today. What an awe-full dignity and responsibility has been bestowed on you and I. We are not in this alone. Anything our God asks of us, that which is necessary to accomplish the task, is already within us. We, in fits and spurts, do some of the things necessary for others to believe that the Incarnation has happened. During this time and season, we are more actively being who we have been called to be. This results in what has been described as “The Advent Virus”. Here are the signs that will indicate to you whether you too have been infected by this virus, or may have encountered this wonder-full 'contamination'. That is in the eyes of those who will not see.

Some signs and symptoms of....

The Advent Virus

A loss of interest in judging other people.
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fear based on past experiences
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others. A loss of interest in conflict.
A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)
Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation. Frequent attacks of smiling.
Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

This virus is the exact recipe we need to empty our buckets, as we draw near to our God, so as to receive His blessings. For those who may want to go further, how about that great prayer of St Francis. "Lord make me an instrument of your peace........”.
That well know author, Anonymous, has penned the following, “It is easy to think Christmas, and easy to believe Christmas, but it is hard to act Christmas”.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

A New lens......for.. a never before... Advent

We are once again invited to enter into and celebrate The Season of Advent. With this season, the new Liturgical year begins. Like the Celtic calendar, the liturgical calendar begins in the world of winter and darkness. The upon is not that where ALL life begins. We all emerge from the darkness of our mother's womb. Jesus, who became the Christ, shared the same journey as each one of us, and was born in the darkness of the night. He arose from the dead in the darkness before the dawn. Somehow, God has chosen that connection between darkness, birth and life and presented to us for our ongoing reflection. We can be sure that wherever there is darkness, then it contains the promise of new life, and new beginnings. This wisdom will not come to us in a day, a week, a year, we will be led to that by those who have gone before and left the promise, as their legacy. A legacy for you and I to claim, enjoy, and celebrate. A legacy whose value will not show up on our bank accounts. It is a legacy that enables us to live life and live it to the fullest. We are empowered to live our lives in love, and freedom. Is not this the deepest wish of all human beings?

So, we are again invited to enter this mysterious Season of Advent. We are gifted, again, with the invitation to enter into this time of longing, preparation, expectation, and, anticipation. We are asked to take the ordinary events of our lives, and see in them the means which afforded to God so He can prepare us in our own unique way for The Revelation. This Revelation, is our God taking on the human condition, so as to reveal to us in a very personal way, He is a God that is not a distant God. On the contrary, He is a God that is with us, He is Emmanuel. As He is revealed to us, so our God depends on you and I to reveal Him to those He will place on our paths. In that way, the Incarnation will be everlasting. It will be, as it is, eternal. This is all, mystery. A mystery that can never be solved, only entered into again and again. With each new encounter we are gentle led into an ever deepening knowledge and understanding of that which will never be understood, in this life. This life affords us the opportunity to enter, ever anew, the Mystery of God becoming fully human. He entered our humanity to the point of suffering and death, so we would have a God that knows from His own human experience, what it means to be powerless, vulnerable, and alone. Beginning with the announcement of His birth, through the events of His birth and life we are drawn always closer to Him who came for the purpose that we would have life and have it abundantly.

Abundant life for Jesus, is not about the bottom line. His abundant life does not show up on our bank statements. Abundant life is not about having the right house in the right neighborhood with the kids attending the right school with the right kind of kids. Abundant life if not even about giving you or your family the right stuff. Stuff will never be enough. The life that is offered to us for our reflection during this Season of Advent is wonder-full and beautifully captured in the following poem by Jessica Power entitled:

ADVENT
I live my Advent in the womb of Mary. And on one night when a great star swings free
From its high mooring and walks down the sky to be the dot above the Christus i,
I shall be born of her blessed grace
I wait in Mary-darkness, faith's walled place,
With hope's expectance of nativity.

I knew for long she carried and fed me, guarded and loved me, though I could not see.
But only now, with inward jubilee,
I come upon earth's most amazing knowledge;
Someone is hidden in this dark within me.

This Advent let us pray for, and be prepared to receive new lenses. Let us let go of all that has come to in Advents past. T his Advent is new, never before experienced. Let us prepare for the appearance of our God, not in the places and people we expect to find Him. He will come to us in the people he came for, the poor, the outcast, the prostitute, the leper, the blind, the lame, the wanderer. All those people we will meet, when we realize they are all within you and I. We are in reality a great community, wounded, and broken waiting in patient longing for Him who will transform the so called darkness in the birthing place of our God. As G.K. Chesterton once said, “Jesus came to turn the world upside right”. So, let us journey in dark faith, not knowing what is before us, but having the conviction God is faithful to his promises, "you are my friends" and "I am with you".

A very happy New Year to all of you. May all your celebration lead you ever deeper, until you meet that Someone who is hidden in the dark within you. A wonder-full, awe-full season of anticipation, and patient longing is my wish for you.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Happy New Year?


Happy New Year - this is Sunday is the beginning of the new Liturgical Calendar!

Monday, November 15, 2010

A Family Tradition....

We are coming to the end of the cronos year - 2010 will end in about seven weeks. The Liturgical Year, on the other hand is ending in just two more weeks. The changing of the leaves and the cooling temperatures signal that we are at the beginning of the end of the year. The liturgical readings provides us with the annual readings which confront us with the challenge of facing our own life's end, and the end of our world, as we know it. This is the time for the fear-mongers. Emphasizing death, destruction, leading to untold, unnecessary worry and spiritual turmoil.

How many of these fear-mongers will take the time to emphasize those last few words of this week’s Gospel; "Yet not a hair of your head will be harmed." There will that upset all around, yet our God is the God of life, not the God of death and destruction and He is our Good Shepherd. The darkest valley is not dark for Him. As a matter of fact, it is those terrible and dangerous times, when we have given up does our Faithful Prodigal Father reveal Himself as He truly is, all powerful, merciful, and gracious. For us who have to journey to the place where we ourselves thought, this is the end, it is all over, light and love breaks through. With this newer and deeper understanding of what is real life and real love, we will have the necessary strength to persevere. It is in and through that God given of perseverance, we, as Jesus in the Gospel, will save our lives.

So, then we see, the future holds no fear for those who have seen their worlds crumble. Their plans not realized. The towers they spent so much time and energy to build, they to their horror saw them fall, and crumble. All there was left was rubble. Was that the end? Of course not! It never is, for those who believe in the spiritual journey. That ending is THE BEGINNING of a newer, and better life. A life not caught up with the demands of this world, but with eyes directed towards the demands of that life which will never end. Over these many years I have seen individuals and families in a matter of seconds have one world end a new way of existence forced upon them.

While I was vacation, I was able to see the History Channel's documentary on the horrors of 9/11. It was a documentary that compiled the actual video recordings of individuals as they journeyed through that seminal day in the history of our country. It began with a wonderful sunny New York morning, with people beginning to go about their morning chores, in preparation for just another day. All that changed when those planes flew into the Twin Towers. What followed was at times very, very difficult to view. I do not go to horror movies, but what was that TV set was beyond any horror movie. This was real. To see the thousands of people running in panic before on-coming clouds of dust, that they were unable to escape was really unnerving. I was looking at real people, running scared, running for their lives. Then you were presented with the picture of firemen either going into the twin towers, or preparing to go in. You saw the faces of those who would never be seen again. There was a look of steady resolve on their faces as they moved towards their destiny. No looking back, just straight forward. They were formed and trained for that day. They did not shirk their duty. They will always be remembered. How could they ever be forgotten? Their physical lives ended on that day, but their efforts and heroism will last forever. The lives of their loved ones have been forever changed. The sun did rise on the September 12th, and the process of living continued on a new and different level. Death, and evil can never win.

That is the message of this week’s Gospel. We will be prepared, strengthened, and trained for whatever may come our way. We will not be overwhelmed. Jesus Christ by His death and resurrection has provided us with that guarantee. When we are caught up in fear, and which one of us has not, we are forgetting we have been provided with the gift of faith for such occasions. This is the truth that comes to us from the words, actions, and life of our Savior, Jesus Christ. John's gospel chapters 14-17, are a great antidote to the fears generated from just living life. We need always to remember we have been created by Love for a life to be lived in freedom, not cowering in a corner out of fear.

We have a Good Shepherd, who states pretty bluntly that what has been given to Him will not be snatched out of His hand. With our desire to be in lasting relationship with Him we will we guided safely the many, many, many dark valleys of our lives. We will not always know where we are being led. We do know by faith, there will never be a place where The Good Shepherd does not only have us in His sight, He has us wrapped up in His loving presence. Where ever He is, we are, wherever we are, he is. After all, it is all about the here and now. In this NOW moment, we are ever and always safe. Do we not ask Our Lady to pray for "now, and at the hour of our death"?

We have Jesus Christ as our brother. We have His Mother as our Mother. This tells us we are very well connected, both put the devil in his place. Let us do the same, 'It is a family tradition". A tradition we will always be empowered to continue.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Every Mass...Trick or Treat?

This past week, as you well know, was "trick or treat" night. Well, I experienced a little of a trick that evening myself! As I left my home in Sun Lakes, I was all prepared to reflect on what I had written here. I was going to deal with the fact that our God not only talks the walk, but He came to walk the talk. In doing so, we have a model to follow. A model that challenges us to walk the same path he has laid out for us. We will then be a people that will really walk the path our God-Father, has intended for our wholeness and happiness. Such was my intention, when the thought flashed through my mind, this is "trick or treat" night. Then the question, "will those who come to Mass lose out on anything? The answer came, of course not! Then the thought process began to expand. Here are some of the thoughts, which are also pretty much what I shared at Mass.

On Halloween, those who go from door to door, always begins with an empty bag or bucket. There is then room for the goodies to be received, into the emptiness. The greater the emptiness the more room there is for gifts, to be received. The gifts that are received will come from the generosity of the giver and cannot be earned or demanded. What happens at each mass we attend? We bring our emptiness to each celebration. Life empties us out. Living life reveals to us our powerlessness, our lack of control, our essential loneliness, all those things that force us into the admission we are after all just a regular human being. We are not the exception to the rule. We begin each celebration with the admission, we are sinners. That is we have said no to God's love, and went in search of an apparent good, only to be very disappointed, eventually. We come to recognize, where we have said no, and the place of the ensuing pain, needs to be handed over to the infinite, prodigal, mercy of our Gracious God. This then is the place of emptiness. This is our empty that will be filled up with what we need, not what we want.

I have been so culturally deprived. I never went trick or treating. So you have to forgive me if I make some mistakes. I have been on the giving end, not on the receiving end. As you look on the faces of the little ones, especially the real little ones, there is a great sense of expectation. When you produce some goodies that meets that expectation there is the familiar, "oh wow". Skittles, M&Ms, Kit Kats will trigger such a response. There will be a rush to tell their friends the good news of what is awaiting them. Then you have to face this new group who has these great expectations. Now let’s switch things up a little.

How about this scenario? What if, instead of the expected treats, a plate of celery, carrots, raisins, and other vegetables was produced.
Would not there be a response like, first of all dead silence, followed with "What gives?”, “Who are you , my parent?”. They would not be very happy campers. They would not be consoled with the trite statement, "vegetables are good for you". They expected candy and will not settle for anything less. Veggies do not provide what Skittles can provide. (Personally a dark chocolate Kit Kat will do the trick.) We want what tastes good, not necessarily what is good. We want that good rush which comes with instant satisfaction. We do not want to wait for the process which allows serenity, and peace of mind to flow into us, or should I not say, to bubble up from WITHIN us. We want religiosity, not spirituality.

How often do we approach the Liturgy of The Mass with the expectation of coming away feeling good. If that does not happen, then there is something wrong. We attended the celebration with the expectation we will hear that which will confirm some pet idea , which bolsters our sense of our own perceived goodness. That did not happen. Instead we were confronted with a message that confronted our preconceived ideas, and smug self righteousness. In other words we wanted candy and got veggies. Here is the question, “Will we be as enthusiastic about spreading the good news of veggies received, as we are in letting everybody know of the "candy" that is waiting for them?”. Our God always gifts us what is good for us, not what we think, or feel is good for us. Lastly, what steps are you going to take to make sure the bucket of the soul is empty, so as to be filled with that which really nourishes us, not just gives us a cheap high. How blessed are you when you are responsible and responsive, and share that gift with your fellow travelers.

Those who attended that Halloween mass were given THE TREAT. The Treat which is essential for healthy spiritual living. The Treat, that comes to us as bread and wine is in fact that which we all seeks as we go about seeking out, and accepting what life has to offer us. That Real God, is behind all of our seeking and searching. We will find ourselves knocking on many doors, only to be disappointed with what is offered. Eventually we will be lead to the peace and quiet that is always within our own souls. On that journey, we will not survive on candy, nor on just pious religious feelings. We will find our strength from that which comes from the same source as we do, namely the earth. It is from the earth, the humus, the human, comes our real nourishment for the journey into reality. That journey we name, the spiritual journey. Let us rest in The Real, and not be seduced by the candy of fantasy, of unreality. Let us not be so tricked that we lose out on “THE TREAT”.

Friday, October 29, 2010

God Walks......His Talk!

There is a daily prayer each day in the paper. One day, this was the prayer:
" Lord, each day let us look for and find good news to give to others we meet, so we may help spread your love and light to those around us. Amen"
It was later in the day when I began to read the scriptures for this weekend's Liturgy. The following is from the first reading from The Book of Wisdom. "You have mercy on all, because You can do all things; and you overlook the sins of men that they may repent. For you love all things that are and loathe nothing that you have made; for what you hated you would not have fashioned. And how could a thing remain, unless you willed it ; or be preserved, had it not been called forth by you? But you spare all things because they are yours, O Lord and lover of souls, for your imperishable Spirit is in all things!
You rebuke offenders little by little, warn them and remind them of the sins they are committing, that they abandon their wickedness and believe in you, O Lord."

Now that is real good news. It is such good news, that it can really stop us in our tracks. God love all that He has made. Yes, there is nothing that God has made that his love does not maintain in existence. If it exists, it is loved, all the time. God's love is permanent, and does not waiver. Whereas the love we experience and express is all over the place. It runs hot and cold. Lukewarm, however, is the killer. Jesus has a warning for the lukewarm. Our God hates nothing that he has made. Now that is an eye opener for those individuals who use God as a weapon to bring impart their own guilt, and shame on to those they have difficulty with. How often God is used as a weapon for evil, when all there exists in God is infinite understanding, mercy and compassion. How we see others treat others reveals to us a great deal about themselves. They are not seeing the person as that person is, they are seeing that person as they see themselves. Nobody, but nobody, can see us as we really, even we ourselves cannot do that, only God see us as we are. Our God always, and I mean always, sees us through the lens of His love. What a terrible act of abuse it is to use the All Loving God as a weapon to further our narrow agenda, or agendas. So, when I have difficulty with someone, it is not actually with that individual, it is sadly about me, and I do not want to deal with me. Eventually, we will have to come home to who we really are, and find out all humankind dwells within each one of us.

In keeping with what Jung says, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves". All that irritates me allows me to fall into that love we are told about in that Wisdom reading.

We all have heard about those who talk the walk, and those who talk the walk. It could be said that in the first reading God, in the scriptures, is talking the walk. In the Gospel Jesus has come to walk the talk, and in doing so is calling on us, His followers, to do the same thing. Our God hates no one, but maintains us all in His love.

Jesus came and became the incarnation of that love. Was it well received? His message of acceptance was so radical it got Him killed.
His outreach was so extraordinary, His own family wanted to intervene. In today's gospel, Jesus scandalizes the self-righteous with His
acceptance, of the invitation, to eat a meal with a sinner. The word sinner was a the same as, prostitute. The tax collector, the sinners, the prostitutes, were among the groups, the ones he reached out to. Jesus pointed out that the tax collectors and prostitutes heard and accepted His word. On the other hand those who stood in judgment of ALL THREE, did not.

Our God is always, as a matter of face every second, maintains us in His love, and reaches out to us in His love. The more we find the tax collector and sinner deep within ourselves, the deeper we will fall into the love revealed to us by, LOVE INCARNATE, Jesus Christ. We will then be able to go beyond the snap judgments, and reach out in understanding and compassion. In this human encounter the mission and the ministry of Love and Incarnate will continue. Let us take the risk of expressing the desire to be able to not just talk the walk, but walk the talk. You will become what you desire. What a ride, what a journey that will be. The opening prayer has these encouraging, and hope-full words;

" May the changing moods of the human heart and the limits which our failings impose on hope never blind us to you, source of every good".

It is only through the lens of the tax collector and sinner we will eventually arrive at that place where we will find ourselves dining with Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Does God have a sense of humor or what? In the last place we expect to find Him, there He is, looking up at us and His eyes and asking the question, "What took you so long?"........Pride?????

Sunday, October 24, 2010

A Prayer....and a Meaning...

Fall weather is with us, at last! We have endured the heat. We are now ready for the good days to refresh us, and renew us. That seems to be the pattern of the life we live out on this earth. There is struggle, some rest, and then we go back to the struggle again. I see the same thing in the hike up a mountain. There is the struggle, then you have a switch back, more struggle, and then there is another switch back. Aren’t those switch backs great? To my way of thinking, our weekend mass is a wonder-full spiritual switch back. Each liturgy provides a resting place, a place of renewal, a place of refreshment. We, as it were really take Jesus up on His invitation to come and rest in Him. We also come to rest with Him. We come to find REST, for the journey. He does not promise a FIX. He promises us rest. I love that prayer we sing, "I am here, standing right beside you". What comfort, encouragement, and strength, there is in those words. That is why we are in the constant need to be reminded of God's faithfulness to us.
We are in the constant need of being reminded that it is NOT our love for God, but his love for us. It is all God’s doing. It is He who has sought us out. We search for God. Why? Because he has found us. Not only found us, but has drawn us into a covenant love. This covenant love is all one sided, it is on God's part. This is His dream, His Ashling, not ours. We are told that His thoughts are way beyond His thoughts, and His ways are not our ways. Let us say a collective, "thank you God for that". We are caught up in a world of checks and balances, that is the world of contracts. God is not there. A real love relationship is not, contractual. His covenant has to do with no conditions, no restrictions and no reservations. His love in the love of, The Beloved. A love that we cannot, even if we want to, earn, deserve, or qualify for. WE have to be reminded of the fact that covenant love is, of its essence, a gift.
So the opening prayer , of this weekend's switchback experience,draws us, again, deeper in the mystery of God's love and who we are, as we exist in We will pray at mass to Him in whom we live, and move and have our being.

"There is no power for good which does not come from your covenant,
and no promise to hope in that your love has not offered.
Strengthen our faith to accept your covenant,
and give us the love to carry out your command."

We have to, or at least I have to, pray that again and again. Each time a little slower to allow the full meaning and impact to penetrate into that place where it will nourish, strengthen, revive and heal me. I ask for the faith that will overcome the fears of my insufficiency, limitedness, faults and failings.
I must be ready to accept no good comes from me. Any love in my life is that which comes to me, first, from God's love. I am simply the channel through which it flows. I am responsible to for the upkeep of the channel. When there is garbage in the channel I have to pray for the wisdom, and strength, to face that reality. It will be grace, and only grace, that will empower me to do what is necessary to unclog that space. I have the guarantee, from my Baptism, that I will never, and I mean never, be alone. I will never have to rely just on my so called strength, I have the pledge that My God will ever be there to strengthen, guide, and direct me. That is what it means to be anointed, which we all are in that sacrament.

We are then open to be strengthened to be who we are called to be. E.E. Cummings wrote; "It takes great courage to grow up and become who we really are." That which is necessary will be provided. We will have to face our fears, but we hear,
"Be not afraid I go before you", and "Fear is the only true enemy, born of ignorance and the parent of anger and hate". We then have a choice to make. Every moment we are given on this spaceship, we call earth, we make the choice of living in the freedom of being the beloved. We will of necessity be life givers, to all we meet. We will not be death dealers. Death dealers, are those who refuse to recognize and accept their essential dignity. Their essential goodness. This is what it means to be wounded. We all have to accept there is that wounded part of each one us. That must be told of the Good News. We must claim we are the beloved again and again until it brings God’s healing to that wounded part, and so join in the great celebration of life. We will also fulfill the command of God, and love as He loves.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Question..?...& ? some more!

Since I have returned from my trip, I was going to say vacation, there has been a lot of blog material that has appeared before me at the breakfast table. As I eat my regular food combination, which I have described in a previous blog, I search the paper for what you and I share, having a common humanity. Well the first thing I do is check out the chuckle for the day. After that there is, The Thought for The Day. Then the sports page. After that I may have the courage to read about the daily happenings in the city, county, country, and world I am given to live in right now. Some of the chuckles do not come across as really being funny, but displays an ignorance on the part of the would-be funny person. I have heard, read and listened to many people who use misinformation, and also disinformation, to make a so called funny. Our Catholic faith is on the receiving end of so much hidden anger, resentment, and downright falsehoods. Take for instance the exert I have taken from the daily paper. This is supposed to get you all happy and free to enjoy the day; "Religious faith is belief without relying on logic or material evidence. So is political opinion."

We as Catholic Christians have a theology to rely on. Theology, I learned over 50 years ago was first and foremost a science. A science is, an organized body of truths. There is Natural Theology, based on reason alone. Then there is a theology that takes the findings of natural religion, adds to it Revelation, and so we arrive at Supernatural Theology. That is why we have the great freedom to be able to question, question, and then question some more. St Augustine had two questions he asked all throughout his life, "Who are you God, and who am I? "As G.K. Chesterton once wrote, "Catholicism is a thinking person's religion. "Pretty neat. “So the next time you hear someone wanting to be funny at the expense of our church, you may well ask the question, " Have you really studied the theology of the Catholic church?" What the church teaches and what is popular understanding are as different as chalk and cheese. Again this is where GOOD spiritual comes in, it affords the opportunity to ground ourselves in the real truth and not be lead astray by following what, "THEY SAY".

They, I have found out, do not have a clue about the real basics of the Catholic faith. They do however keep the church in the business of being the source of real truth. Do not get me wrong, I have been questioned about what a person heard from a so called Catholic expert, and my answer has been, " you got to be kidding me?” I guess that is why we have to ask for the gift of prudence. We, at the same time, must acknowledge the weakness of the human side of the church. We have to take our lumps when some aspects of the failings are made fun of. We do not have to take it personal. Like in any family, there are members we would like to disown, but they are still family. It will be through their weaknesses that the transforming power
of God will flow into our unions, and communities. There was a wonder-full opening prayer in the liturgy last week. I am going to take the liberty of changing a few words and see how it speaks to you. The original prayer:
"Father in heaven, the hand of your loving kindness, powerfully yet gentle, guides all the moments of our day. Go before in our pilgrimage of life, anticipate our needs and prevent our falling. Send your Spirit to unite in faith, that sharing in you service, we may rejoice in your presence."
Now let us pray it this way:
“My Father in heaven, the hand of your loving kindness powerfully yet gentle guides all the moments of my day. Go before me, which He has, in my pilgrimage of life, anticipate my needs, and prevent my falling. Send you Spirit to unite me with all those lead by that same Spirit . That united in spirit we serve you more faithfully, and so we will all have the opportunity to rejoice in your many presences."

We go to mass to offer individual worship, and communal worship. That it our reality because of our Baptism. It is not either/or it is both/and.
When we are strong, as an individual we thank God for that. That is easy, right? Now when things are all messed up for us as individuals and community, the same God is working ever so power-fully, and so awe- fully gentle, to bring peace and unity to the chaos we as humans have created. Here is another Thought for the Day:

“The opposite of a fact is a falsehood, but the opposite one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." Niels Bohr.

Let us embrace these two truths;

" The powerless of power, and the power of powerlessness" , which allows us to fall into the "LOVING KINDNESS " of our God, which
is His dream, His Aisling."

Rejoice" then because of your essence you are loved. You have been loved from all of eternity, and will be loved FOR ALL OF ETERNITY. Continue to live and celebrate THE DREAM.

Friday, October 8, 2010

More Goodness....to Challenge Us.

Spiritual reading is so essential for a healthy spirituality. To be healthy, we must be taken ever deeper. This journey that takes us deep is the work of the HOLY Spirit within us, and so can be trusted, even if not liked. None of us are comfortable with facing the honest truth that is part and parcel of this journey. There is consolation in that adage, we are as sick as our secrets. The more we grow in honesty, and honesty is progressive, the more free we are to enjoy that which our God has dreamed for us…. There is a newness about our life. Our life is not boring.

Spiritual reading does this for us. Yes!! It is a blessing and a curse. It is a sacrament in the broad understanding of that word. It is sacrament (with a small “s”) in that sense is: Each and every person place event, action, that brings in touch with the deeper realities of life and ultimately with Reality Itself, that reality we call God. Last week in the quotation from Fr. Rolheiser we were taken to a new and deeper understanding of who we are as today’s living presence of the historical Jesus, we as the contemporary Christ are in the constant need of being reminded who we really are. WE must have that constant reinforcement of our innate dignity. Why? Because, the Devil, the father of all lies, wants us to believe in the lie. The lie is that we are not who we are really called to be, we have to earn, deserve, and qualify for the unconditioned love of God. That love comes to in so many ways and through so many channels. Here is some of what Fr. Rolheiser has written, speaking of The Incarnation;

"When Jesus walked around Palestine, people were healed and forgiven, not to mention given eternal life, by touching him ,and being touched by Him and simply by relating to him. If we the ongoing incarnation, and we are, then this is true also for us (and not just in the sense of it happening through the institutional churches, important as that is)......The mystery of the incarnation is extensive. It is not just the institutional churches that carry on, carry forth, and carry the mystery the mystery of God in human flesh. ALL LOVE THAT IS IN GRACE IS THE WORD MADE FLESH. To touch it is to be touched by Christ; to touch with it is to touch with Christ because it is the ongoing incarnation. From Augustine through Pius XII, we are told that this is wild doctrine, something beyond our limited imaginations, and measured hopes. Nobody dares hope for us as much as God has already given in the incarnation.

What are we given there? The power, literally, to block death and hell. If we love someone, that person cannot go to hell because Christ is loving him or her. If we forgive someone, that person is forgiven because Christ is forgiving him or her. If children of ours, or anyone else we love, no longer go to church, our love for them and their love for us bind them solidly to the Body of Christ. They continue to touch the hem of Christ's garment as surely as did the woman in the gospel who suffered with a hemorrhage. The end result, unless they reject their bond to us, will be like hers, namely, healing.... it is Christ who is doing this. We, as St Paul so clearly assures us, “are the body of Christ”. He recognizes how difficult it is for us ordinary people to believe, accept, and act upon. So he concludes the chapter with these words:

" Part of the difficulty in believing in the incarnation is precisely the fact that it is too good to be true: God is not hidden and hard to contact; forgiveness, grace, and salvation are not the prerogative of the lucky and the few; we don't have to save ourselves; we do not have to live our lives perfectly to be saved;...human flesh and this world are not obstacles, but part of the vehicle to heaven; we can help each other on the journey; love, indeed human love, is stronger than death; and to love someone is indeed to say; "you at least will never die.!"

This spiritual reading does take one deeper, and so it is indeed, sacramental. This will lead us to pray for the simple faith, to believe in the very simple words of scripture;

"You are my Beloved daughter/son, in you, I am, well pleased", another translation goes like this "You are my beloved child; in you I take delight!" How often do we take time out to join our Father God in His delight of who we are, and in where we are? We cannot think our way into a new way of enjoying being ,God's delight, we must take the action to join God in his delight, of us. We have been given the gift of imagination. Let us dream of new ways to celebrate this great gift of God's great delight in us, each one in his/hers own unique way. Again, to quote Thomas Merton, “Be, who you already, are”. The question would be then, who are you?

Let the dreaming continue….

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Too Good...To Believe?

We as Catholics did not look too good in the news today. Throughout the news media there were discussions on the startling statistic that Catholics knew the least about religion. Is it not amazing that so called atheists knew the most about religion when questioned. Yes, atheists were the best informed. An amazing 45% of us did not know of the Real Presence. That in the bred and wine we receive at mass Jesus Christ is really truly present. In the reality of the Eucharist the historical Jesus, is present as the Risen Christ. We, because of our Baptism are the living presence of the same Jesus Christ. The historical Jesus is now living, walking, talking, loving , crying, within the reality of us living out our daily life. Whenever you or I touch someone, that is the touch of Christ. When you are reaching out in compassion, and understanding, the compassionate, understanding ministry of Christ continues to have life. What wonder- full faith our God has in each one of us that we are called, gifted, and consecrated to carry on the ministry of Christ, our brother. I guess you can say we are called to be in the Family business. Isn’t that one way of looking at this mystery?

I would like to suggest the fact we do not know, and so do not believe, all the ramifications of our Baptism, all that is presented to us is so hard to believe. How can our limited lives contain and reflect the mystery of the many presences of God? How can we, as oh so limited human beings, carry on the Mission and the Ministry of the Godman, Jesus Christ? We must ask for the gift of deepening faith to let go of our narrow, comfortable, understanding so we can be led in the vastness of the mystery we are called to be. May I suggest it is because we do not allow ourselves to be led ever deeper into Mystery, we lose out on the great mysteries which are the foundation of who we are as Catholic Christians. When we receive the Eucharist how many will say, and believe here is the living reality of Jesus Christ not only meeting, but encountering the reality of the same Jesus who walked this earth 2,000 years ago? In the Eucharist, Christ meets Christ. In all that we are, He finds His life, in us HE has his existence and his being. Just as in the same Christ we live and move and have our being. We as it were, complement one another. Where we are, Christ IS. Where we are, the church, as The Body of Christ, is.

Last week I mentioned how important spiritual reading is. I find this reading to be encouraging, challenging, and threatening to my preconceived ideas and false conceptions. There was a great expression in the 70s, when we came across something which really made us stand up and pay attention-what “Blew our minds". "You blow my mind” was such a common expression. Well that is what spiritual reading does for me, and has been doing for many many years now. The following is from Fr. Rolheiser’s book “Against an Infinite Horizon". WARNING this is not for the narrow minded, or the closed minded. I hope it will "Blow Your Mind"!
He writes:

"Gabriel Marcel once said; "To love is to say, you at least will never die”. That might sound like romantic wishful thinking, but in Christian faith we believe that this is deep insight, an article of faith, a truth of the Incarnation. If we take the Incarnation seriously, then to love someone is to say to that person "You will never die because, in this life and the next, you will never be separated from the community of life, God's family, because in accepting my love you are touching the Body of Christ just as really as did anyone who touched the historical Jesus. You will never die and you will never go to hell because you are bound to Christ. ... The truth is rather that, as the body of Christ on earth, we can continue to do all the things that Jesus did and, as Jesus himself says in the John's Gospel (4:12), we can even do greater things. Scripture tells us that we are the body of Christ on earth. It does not say that we are like the His body, or that we replace His body, or even that we are His mystical body (which would not be so wrong, if we understood "mystical" in the deep sense of the word). Our Christian faith informs us that we are the body of Christ--flesh, blood, tangible, visible, physical, available to be touched, and all of this definitely and clearly residing in nameable persons on this earth. We are the ongoing incarnation of God, the anointed ones of God, Christ."

Pretty good stuff, no…..on second thought, that is GREAT stuff. The stuff our faith needs if we are to live the dream our God has dreamt for you and I. So continue to enter the dream of God, as revealed to us in the life and the person, of the historical Jesus, who became The Christ of God. Live what you know and so be led into the unknown.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Discipline...to Nourish Our Spiritual Life

After I was ordained in 1963 I visited a Catholic store. Even then, I was always looking for good books to read. I am sorry to say you could not find too many books to choose from. Today go to any bookstore and you will find row after row of books on the spiritual life and journey. There are also books on the lives of those who have gone before us. They are the men and women who are looked at as the guides and trail blazers. Spiritual reading is now commonplace. Why? Here are some of the thoughts of Henri Nouwen:

"An important discipline in the life of the Spirit is spiritual reading. Through spiritual reading we have some say over what enters our minds. Each day our society bombards us with a myriad of images and sounds. ..words yell and scream at us; "drink me, buy me, hire me, look at me, talk with me. But do we really want our minds to become the garbage can of the world? Do we want our minds to be filled with things that confuse us, excite us, depress us, arouse us, repulse us, or attract us whether we think it is good for us or not? Do we want to let others decide what enters our mind and determines our thoughts and feelings? Clearly we do not, but it requires real discipline to let God and not the world be the Lord of our minds. But that asks of us not just to be gentle as doves, but also cunning as serpents! Therefore, spiritual reading is such a helpful discipline. Is there a book we are presently reading, a book that we have selected because it nurtures our mind and brings us closer to God? Our thoughts and feelings would be deeply affected if we were always to carry with us a book that puts our minds again and again in the direction we want to go. There are so many good books about the lives of holy men and women, about remarkable examples of peace-making, about communities that bring life to the poor and the oppressed, about the spiritual life itself. Even if we were to read for only fifteen minutes a day in such a book, we would find our mind becoming less of a garbage can and more a vase filled with good thoughts. The great value of spiritual reading is that it helps us to give meaning to our lives. Without meaning, human life degenerates. The human person not only wants to live, but also wants to know how to live. A life that is not reflected upon eventually loses its meaning, and becomes boring."

It does take discipline to do what is necessary to preserve and nourish our spiritual life. It also demands that we be generous with ourselves when deciding how we are to spend our time. How many when they look at their day will put aside time for themselves FIRST? This is time that is going to be spend in a way that nothing is going to show up in the area of power, property or prestige? We are so programmed to want to see results that we lose sight of what the scriptures warns about, " What is seen is transitory, what is unseen lasts forever".

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Blame has to .....STOP!

A butterfly does not immediately immerge from its cocoon, it takes it time. Time and effort are essential ingredients for a butterfly to immerge healthy. The struggle to be released from the cocoon is necessary for it to have healthy wings. For it to be able to fly, there is the necessary struggle. In the same way, a chick immerging from its shell, cannot be helped by the mother, otherwise there is a price to be paid. The birthing process does involve pain, ask any mother. We too have to accept the fact that for us to become who God intended us to become, this too demands time ,effort, and yes……
pain. The one thing we must constantly guard against is adding to the pain that is ours, on this oh so human journey as spiritual beings. God came that we would have life and have it abundantly. We are called to a life of freedom, not fear. We are called to fly as free as butterflies. That is God's dream for you and I. We are the Aisling of God, living out the Aisling of God. We are the incarnation of a dream, of God. Pretty neat? We must work, work, and work on the ongoing understanding of being loved as this ever unique dream. We must keep reminding ourselves we are limited, never perfect. This is necessary for us to immerge from the cocoon of limited understanding.

As much as we want and strive to be perfect, in this life, will never be ours. That is reserved for the next life, the resurrected life. So, in the meantime we must concentrate on enjoying the life God has given us to lead. The same human existence, God as human, lived. A life we live very imperfectly. Yet somehow all of this is part of God's dream. A dream we are created for, and invited to both enjoy, and celebrate. One of the weapons we use to sabotage this wonder-full dream is BLAME. As I promised last week, here is the quotation I received and wish to pass it on to you. Read this slowly and listen to what these words say to you. What comfort do you see being offered to you for your daily living? John Powell in one of his books, "Happiness is an Inside Job" writes; "Growth begins when the blaming stops"!!!!!!!!

Nouwen's quote:

"You must avoid not only blaming others but also blaming yourself. You are inclined to blame yourself for the difficulties you experience in relationships. But self-blame is not a form of humility. [oops ... thought I was a little holy with all the self-bashing.] It is a form of self-rejection in which you ignore or deny your own goodness and beauty.

When a friendship does not blossom, when a word is not received, do not blame it on yourself. This is both untrue and hurtful. Every time you reject yourself, you idealize others. You want to be with those whom you consider better, stronger, more intelligent, more gifted than yourself. Thus you make yourself emotionally dependent, leading others to feel unable to fulfill your expectations and causing them to withdraw from you. This makes you blame yourself even more, and you enter a dangerous spiral of self-rejection and neediness.

Avoid all forms of self-rejection. Acknowledge your limitations, but claim your unique gifts and thereby live as an equal among equals. That will set you free from your obsessive and possessive needs and enable you to give and receive true affection and friendship."

Until next week...LIVE the dream!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Become....A Butterfly...

Acceptance is tough, hard and difficult, but it is the only real road, to an ever-deepening spiritual life. Acceptance of who we really are, is first and foremost a process. A process we all, at least for me, we will make every effort to avoid. I am wondering out loud here, is this the reason there is so little use being made of the Sacrament of Reconciliation? We are told reconciliation with who we are, is a process as well. The one gift that can make these two processes worthwhile, however painful, is gut honesty. We grow slowly in that deep honesty of who we really are. This process is made somewhat easier when we have a person in our lives, who bestows unconditioned, unlimited, and unrestricted love on us, especially in times when we have abandoned who we are, out of toxic shame. That toxic shame wants to give the message, which is contrary to our deepest reality. The message of toxic shame is we are not good enough, we are not smart enough, we are not beautiful enough, and blah, blah, blah.....All of that is a LIE, and the source of the lie is 'the father of all lies - Satan". When we listen to the voice of toxic shame, we are giving ear to The Devil, rather than to the voice of the Spirit of Truth. This Voice of God then, because God IS Truth, tells us from deep within that we are loved as we are, without condition, restriction or reservation. This battle wages on and on and on. It is our every moment, daily struggle. We have to make this choice, each and every moment, am I the beloved, with all that it means, or will I be duped into the lie I am not, and never will be good enough? This question lies ever before you and I. Will I work on being spiritually healthy, and live a life of freedom as the beloved daughter/son, or will I live out my life in the unmitigated hell of being spiritually sick? The popular word for that today is, being codependent. This will mean what? Simple, I will choose to live out my God given life, not with the real God as my guide, I have replaced that God with the dis-eased view of a limited human being.

A healthy relationship is always pointing to THE LOVE relationship between us and God. It is to bring the freedom, peace, love, joy, and happiness is a by-product of this mysterious reality. Yes!! Happiness is a by-product. A healthy relationship is the cocoon from which emerges the wonder-full, beautiful butterfly, which is who we are in God's love. The butterfly is destined to fly free, that is our destiny as well. Does it always happen for us? No, sad to say it does not. Never fear, we are given what it takes to fly free, it is the ability to make healthy choices. There are times when we will have to let go of controlling people in our lives, so we can walk in the freedom of who we really are. WE will have to establish boundaries, with individuals who have no concept of boundaries. We will have to say "I love you but I cannot have you in my life", and stick with that decision despite all the efforts of friends, and FAMILY. I recommend the book, "Boundaries”. If you do not like to read, go to a bookstore and read the chapter beginning on page 103. That will give you great permission to live your new life of freedom, which is God's wish for you. Then read the chapter, beginning on page 83, and see what message is there for you. By the way, there is also another life changing book by the same authors, Cloud & Townsend, this is called “Boundaries with Kids". After this, your kids will not allow you to read this blog any more. Guess what? You will not pay any attention to them, Why? Simply put, there is a new sheriff in town. I am reminded of a cartoon I had on my office door at St. A's. There was this man speaking to a woman, saying the following; "I liked you better, before you learned to love yourself".

To further enhance you and your freedom, the following was gifted to me by a dear friend, and I want to share it. It is from who else?
Henri Nouwen.

On Second thought...this is long enough, I will save it for next week.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Acceptance is one of Life's Greatest Challenges...

I was able to pick up Fr. Rolheiser's great book, "The Holy Longing”, at a bargain price in a thrift shop. Thrift shops are a favorite haunt of mine. I have been able to buy some great books and wonderful music, at unbelievable prices. There are two fantastic chapters in the above book. One chapter is on the Spirituality of The Paschal Mystery, and the other is on the Spirituality of Sexuality.
Both these chapters are a daily read. In this book Fr. Rolheiser quotes Henri Nouwen;

"Our life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment of our life. There is a quality of sadness that pervades all moments of our life. It seems there is no such thing as clear-cut pure joy, but that even in the most happy moments of our existence we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of limitations. In every success, there is fear of jealousy. Behind every smile, there is a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And, in all forms of light, there is the knowledge of surrounding darkness....But this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched with a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence. It can do so by making us look forward in expectation to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, a joy no one shall take away from us."

Then Fr. Rolheiser writes the following commentary: "What Nouwen affirms here, in simple language, is what Christian Theology means when it tells us we are living in the interim eschatological age. We are living in that time between Christ’s Resurrection (the initial triumph of God’s promise to give us fulfillment) and the final consummation of that promise, the end of time (when all tears will be wiped away).
During that time, and it is an interim time, we will always live in tension, waiting for the final consummation of history and our lives. Our happiness depends not on overcoming this, which we cannot do in any case, but in making peace with it. And that peace is not made by a stoic acceptance that we cannot have it all in this life. It is made by living our incompleteness in face of a future promise.

To live in the interim eschatological age to be like a couple waiting to be married who, for a good reason (for example the death of a parent), have chosen to postpone their marriage for a period of time. There is a certain frustration in that, but that frustration is offset by the clear knowledge that this is only a temporary delay, soon to be overcome. Our essential “inconsummation” in this life must be understood in this way. The frustration is real, but it is, as Nouwen so well puts it, something we will one day overcome, albeit that day will not meet us in this life.

“To understand the time we live in, is to be less frustrated with the fact that it cannot offer us the final symphony." Our spiritual journey, then, is the everyday living in that reality. Fr. Rolheiser hits it right on the head when he points out it we are dealing with real frustration, and that frustration is now. We do not deal with this frustration by fighting it, no use we cannot win, or by making attempts to fix it, which we ourselves cannot, it is somehow in the acceptance that we are able to arrive at some peace. Acceptance of who we are, and who God is, in that reality lies the key. God is God, and we are not. WE have the great, deep desire, given to us by our God, to be totally one, once again. That is our journey into a oneness with who we are, and in that process we find union with Him, who is our Source, and Destiny.

The Psalmist provides us with those wonderful lines, "out of the depths I cry to you o Lord. Lord hear my cry." When we allow ourselves to taste the essential helplessness, hopelessness, and powerlessness of who we are as human beings, then our Savior God will come to us with those consoling word, "My Beloved here I am. I am always standing beside you. I will not, I cannot desert, abandon you. You are to me as beloved as your brother Jesus. The love I have for the both of you is the same.” Can you believe that? It is not the reality that you have difficulty with, it is a deepening faith that will bring you to that place. It is yours to have. Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it will be opened to you. Always keep in mind, “My ways, are not your ways”. My time is not the way you figure time. I will come at a time and in the places you least expect. “It has been this way, and as it was so it shall ever be." I believe Lord, help my unbelief/disbelief.

Unbelief...Disbelief...

I was able to pick up Fr. Rolheiser's great book, "The Holy Longing”, at a bargain price in a thrift shop. Thrift shops are a favorite haunt of mine. I have been able to buy some great books and wonderful music, at unbelievable prices. There are two fantastic chapters in the above book. One chapter is on the Spirituality of The Paschal Mystery, and the other is on the Spirituality of Sexuality.
Both these chapters are a daily read. In this book Fr. Rolheiser quotes Henri Nouwen;

"Our life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment of our life. There is a quality of sadness that pervades all moments of our life. It seems there is no such thing as clear-cut pure joy, but that even in the most happy moments of our existence we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of limitations. In every success, there is fear of jealousy. Behind every smile, there is a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And, in all forms of light, there is the knowledge of surrounding darkness....But this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched with a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence. It can do so by making us look forward in expectation to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, a joy no one shall take away from us."

Then Fr. Rolheiser writes the following commentary: "What Nouwen affirms here, in simple language, is what Christian Theology means when it tells us we are living in the interim eschatological age. We are living in that time between Christ’s Resurrection (the initial triumph of God’s promise to give us fulfillment) and the final consummation of that promise, the end of time (when all tears will be wiped away).
During that time, and it is an interim time, we will always live in tension, waiting for the final consummation of history and our lives. Our happiness depends not on overcoming this, which we cannot do in any case, but in making peace with it. And that peace is not made by a stoic acceptance that we cannot have it all in this life. It is made by living our incompleteness in face of a future promise.

To live in the interim eschatological age to be like a couple waiting to be married who, for a good reason (for example the death of a parent), have chosen to postpone their marriage for a period of time. There is a certain frustration in that, but that frustration is offset by the clear knowledge that this is only a temporary delay, soon to be overcome. Our essential “inconsummation” in this life must be understood in this way. The frustration is real, but it is, as Nouwen so well puts it, something we will one day overcome, albeit that day will not meet us in this life.

“To understand the time we live in, is to be less frustrated with the fact that it cannot offer us the final symphony." Our spiritual journey, then, is the everyday living in that reality. Fr. Rolheiser hits it right on the head when he points out it we are dealing with real frustration, and that frustration is now. We do not deal with this frustration by fighting it, no use we cannot win, or by making attempts to fix it, which we ourselves cannot, it is somehow in the acceptance that we are able to arrive at some peace. Acceptance of who we are, and who God is, in that reality lies the key. God is God, and we are not. WE have the great, deep desire, given to us by our God, to be totally one, once again. That is our journey into a oneness with who we are, and in that process we find union with Him, who is our Source, and Destiny.

The Psalmist provides us with those wonderful lines, "out of the depths I cry to you o Lord. Lord hear my cry." When we allow ourselves to taste the essential helplessness, hopelessness, and powerlessness of who we are as human beings, then our Savior God will come to us with those consoling word, "My Beloved here I am. I am always standing beside you. I will not, I cannot desert, abandon you. You are to me as beloved as your brother Jesus. The love I have for the both of you is the same.” Can you believe that? It is not the reality that you have difficulty with, it is a deepening faith that will bring you to that place. It is yours to have. Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it will be opened to you. Always keep in mind, “My ways, are not your ways”. My time is not the way you figure time. I will come at a time and in the places you least expect. “It has been this way, and as it was so it shall ever be." I believe Lord, help my unbelief/disbelief.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

On Further Reflection.......Hope

UPON FURTHER REFLECTION With most hikes there is the going out, or up, and the coming home, the coming down. It means ascending and descending, unless, of course, you are on a loop. In the spiritual life , ascending has to do with the realm of the spirit, while descending has to do with, soul work My spirit and soul got a great workout, on that hike. Actually you could say there were two hike, in one. The ascending was in the peace, and security of clear skies, and bright sunshine. This lifted the spirit into the realm of freedom. Freedom from care, concern, fear, and worry. It was so easy to say, "Thank You". An attitude of gratitude was so apparent. The descending was so much, the very opposite. It was a journey into insecurity, fear, and concern, just to name a few. This was, and is, the journey of the soul. Soul work is not that appealing, that is why the spiritual journey is not attractive to so many. Soul work IS hard work. On the hike, I was given a deeper insight into both. Upon reflection is not this the way we spend, the way we live out all of our daily living? We do not have to go on any hike to have the aforementioned experiences. They are the both sides of you every day.

There are some days, well let’s say, there are some moments of our day when are in sunshine, we can safely say, “I have got this life thing wired?". When we are in that much desired place, Fr Rohr calls that place, that pole he calls "inflation”. We never stop there, we then go to the opposite pole. Here, we are meeting the challenge, of being lost, lonely, and so alone where we ask the questions, “How did get into this mess?" and "Is this ever going to stop or go away?”. This pole at which so much of our lives are spent, is called "alienation". When we are that pole in our daily journey, we are really frazzled. We do not know which way is up. We are facing the limits of our endurance. Here, we border on hopelessness and helplessness, we are in the best place possible. Yes! I will repeat that again, as you may think I was having a senior moment, we are in the best place possible, SPIRITUALLY, that is. This is where our ego does not want to go to.

The ego will do everything in its power to avoid being in this situation. The ego has the power of the Devil on its side. What do we have on our side, as we slowly come to admit our human limitations, we are guaranteed THE POWER of GOD which overcomes all evil. WE have to face however, what the ego hates ,the the great challenge, we call surrender. That is why soul work is so repulsive to the ego, and so to us who want to look good and powerful.Here we face what Fr. Rolheiser calls , the challenge of our insufficiency. We are here challenged to face our own inner incompleteness. For the ego a root canal in more acceptable.

When I returned to the cabin I had a great big bowl of soup. Did that taste good? Later, I had a very relaxing hot bath. That night before I went to bed I had a big mug of camomile tea. As I lay there feeling very safe, cozy and warm, I had to ask the question, " Can this get any better?”. To make things even better I was in that state where I knew I was going to go to sleep. I suffer from insomnia, so this was the cherry on the sundae, I fell asleep listening to the wind and the rain. My very favorite sound. It was great to experience that feeling of contentment. The big question that is begging to be asked is, would it last? Of course not, I am sad to say. Within a short period I was back facing my essential loneliness, insecurity, incompleteness, discontent. I was again back in daily struggle of what it means to be a spiritual being, having a human experience. T hank the Good Lord, this is not our lasting home. We are here on a visit, so in the meantime we have our daily struggle. There is no escape.

Fr. Karl Rahner has written the following; " In the torment of the insufficiency of everything attainable we come to understand that here, in this life, all symphonies remain unfinished". Fr. Rolheiser writes the following in commentary, "What does it mean to be tormented by insufficiency of everything attainable?” How are we tortured by what we cannot have? We all experience this daily. In fact, for all but a few privileged, peaceful times, this torment is like an undertow to everything we experience;" beauty makes us restless when it should bring us peace, the love we experience with our spouse does not fulfill our longings, the relationships we have within our families seem too petty and too domestic to be fulfilling, our job is hopelessly inadequate to the dreams we have for ourselves, the place we live in seems boring and lifeless in comparison to other places, and we are too restless to sit peacefully at our own tables, sleep peacefully in our own beds, and be at ease within our own skins. We are tormented by the insufficiency of everything attainable when our lives are too small for us and we live in them in such a way that we are always waiting, waiting for something or somebody to come along and change things so that our lives , as we imagine them, might begin. ..... To be tormented with restlessness is to be human."

I have found great consolation, and courage in those words.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Life.....or a Hike...(2)

Ready for the rest of the hike? Well let’s do it! Remember where we were last week? Well, you do not have to remember, all you have to do is scroll down and read all about how I described the ascent ? How beautiful and serene it was? How it was so easy to get lost in the wonder-fullness of the place I was at, doing what I was doing. In Ireland they call these places, "thin places". Places where the divine is more easily encountered, than in other places. Since last week I came across the following; “Beauty serves....to prepare the soul for... encounter with God". That trail which was such a sacrament, revealing the presence, and the mystery of God in the beauty of his creation, now to say the least, has changed. The trail will still be a sacrament, it will demand more in depth thought….a lot of thought and reflection. It is in the storms of life we need the x-ray eye of faith to see the deeper meaning behind the obvious reality of pain, stress, and discomfort. The rain and hail sure made that trail different, and more difficult. There was great confidence on the way up. Now, as the rain began to gather and flow downhill, I had to go slow, and pick my steps. On the way up the rocks, that I avoided, now became a source of security. Strange??? Those rocks were a way to stop the slipping and sliding. The same can be said of the rock we call faith. What one time was a real pain for us, prayer, Mass, the Sacraments, moments of quiet, now becomes a source of peace and serenity. What once were seen as obstacles, are now seen as stepping stones “Storms of Life”, I believe, reveal their own sacraments to us as well.

A person of my age, and temperament has to be very cautious . That peaceful, serene trail is now, as I have said, a great challenge. In the beginning of the descent I skipped about to avoid the gathering pools. (Now that was a sight to see- my version of the jig!) After a time, I saw it was to no avail. My boots were getting really wet, as a matter of fact, they were soaked. Lo and behold, I reverted to days of long ago. Do you remember how GREAT it felt to jump into the middle of a puddle of water, much to the horror of your mother? She was not looking at my great joy, but to the washing and ironing that was waiting for her, as the result of my great adventure in to muddy water. Well here I am happy as Larry, whoever he was, splashing my way down hill, with plenty of rain, wind, hail, with flashing lightening, and rolling thunder. There was a great feeling that came with the buffeting. I was warm in my body, and the energy was good. Yes, it was good to be alive and I wanted to stay that way. When the lightening got really close, I had the thought, “Why not get to a place of shelter and wait this storm out?”. It was getting late. I had no idea how long that storm would last, it lasted a while. The sky looked as if, as we say in Ireland, “it was settling in for the evening”. So, I carried on down that wet sloppy trail, which in some places was a little stream. Some parts numb with freezing cold, the other parts really enjoying the long forgotten pleasure, of playing in the rain. On the was down, I was anxiously looking for familiar signs along the way that would tell me how much further I had to travel. There was a great sigh of relief when I saw the trail head sign. I now knew I was close to the parking lot and the warmth of my car. I could almost feel the warmth of the hot air. Obviously I reached the car. On came the heat. Then a change of clothes. Something to eat, and headed for home. Yes, it rained the whole way home. I have had some days to think, and reflect on that hike. How true to the spiritual life that experience was. How often do we find ourselves going along, again, happy as Larry. From what we can see life is going well. All the ducks are in line, and almost at the water. Our plans are working out, our expectations are somewhat being met. Most of the people in our lives are working and walking in step with us. That is me on the first leg of the hike. Then life happens. We now become aware, or in some cases are forced into awareness that this spiritual being is immersed in the totality of the human experience. That storm which hit me, in the physical, will hit every person on the spiritual level as well. When I am lost in the storm, I have to realize there is no place I will go to that Jesus has not gone to, and he is also there waiting for me to show up. He got wearied on His journey. He was buffeted by the storms. He was disappointed. He as the scriptures say: "He was like unto us in all things, except sin", and He died out of love for us sinners.

As human beings we can so easily, in a split second, go from being calm and serene, to being angry, hateful, and spiteful. We can go from being accepting to being resentful, in no time flat. Being Irish, I am in that group of people that will speak and act first, then think. I have to learn to be a responder, rather than a reactor. I am still in school for that one. I have to learn to slow down and read the signs of the time I find myself in. On my hike the changes around me were gradual, yet I missed them. I was so caught up in the good feelings of a great hike that the reality of where I was lost on me. My emotional needs joy and happiness were being met while all the same time I was putting myself in physical danger. When the rational side took over I made the healthy decision to get on the trail home. I have to learn to balance, or better still, to bring into balance the emotional and the rational. How often the signs of danger and trouble are there and we choose to ignore the challenge to, confront . How often are we so unaware of the changes that will of necessity, be brought about we continue in our dysfunction? To make matters worse, we blame God for what is happening to us, and where we are at. God has nothing to do with so much of the trouble and danger we find ourselves in. How responsible do we hold ourselves to be? It was not God who lead me into that danger, through what was an apparent good. Joe was responsible to take all factors into account and then make a decision, which I did not. What happened on the next hike? I was out a distance, looked up, and saw the dark clouds, see I learned. The trail looked great in front of me, it was very tempting to say, " just a little further".

No, this time I turned back. I barely made it to the car when, the heavens opened. Enough said.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

A Hike....or Life...

It was first hike up to Mallard lake. Last year I hiked the Mallard Creek trail. To be honest, I had some reservations about this year's choice. A ranger informed me the lake trail was a little more challenging, translation, a steeper trail. She was quick to add that the scenery was so much better. When I heard that word, steeper, I immediately was countered with the question, “Are there any switchbacks?". She replied, with a reassuring smile, "Yes, there are". What a relief that was. On difficult hikes I look forward to the switchbacks. They provide a time and a space, to regroup a little, so as to have the energy, and strength to meet the challenge of the next stage of the climb. As it is on hikes, so it is with The Hike we call “The Spiritual Journey”. Here is a thought, on the hikes we choose to go on we cannot plan the switchbacks, nature has control of that. On the hike of your every life, however, you are in control (and only you can do it) of where those switchbacks moments are. We now call those who do not take this healthy step ”victims”. Those who do take the healthy step are called “survivors”. Those in the first group are referred to as “human doers”, and those in the second are referred to as “human beings”. God created us to live the life as free human beings….Come on switchbacks.!!!!

Well, let’s get back to this hike. What a hike it was, otherwise I would not be writing about it. As I made my way up the trail, I was struck with the peace, calmness and serenity. Looking back, I do not know why this was so. Was it because I, myself, was in a good place, or was the trail itself, and all that it had to offer. (How about ," both/and", you may well say?) The trail was somewhat challenging, but soft and gently underfoot. You kinda bounced of the sod as you moved along. It was great. So wonder-full, that the thought came to me, this should be named "The Serenity Trail to Mallard Lake".
I journeyed along, lost in thought, enjoying the feeling of being immersed in Yellowstone. I was gradually making my way up the trail. Not only were there switchbacks, there were also little hills to go up and down. I was really enjoying myself. Not too much though. I was keeping a close eye out for, Mr. or Mrs Bear. You see, earlier in the week, I came within about 20 yards of a bear! I was not able to decide whether it was a Mrs., a Mr., a Miss or a Master, that bear took off so fast! Take it from me, bears are fast. I am so thankful he/she decided to run away from me, and not at me. I am told they can hit speeds of between 35-40 mph. Later in the week I saw a huge grizzlie. He was about a quarter of a mile away. I have him tucked away, in the safety of my camera, he is no threat there.

So, here I am, lost in thought among the trees. I, however, have no view of the sky. That is not good. Suddenly, I heard the sound of thunder. It was away in the distance, so it was nothing to worry about. So, I went back to being lost in the joy, and pleasure of the hike. There was another peel of thunder. This one got my attention, why? Because this time, there was lightening before the thunder rolled. I looked up, and saw that the sky had darkened in the East, but there was blue sky to the west. So, off I went, keeping the thought of the blue sky uppermost in my mind, and not paying too much attention to the ever darkening sky. Not even the drops of rain got my attention. Not a smart move, but my best. (I failed to read all the signs of the time and place I found myself in.) That was my best decision at the time. My best, but not the best. The right one was not made and as usual there was a price to be paid. Was this the first time in my life this has happened? Of course not. This has happened may times before, and there is every chance it will happen again. As long as I am a limited human being, this will happen again and again, until the day I die. It is our friend, death who will free us to live the fullness of live. In the mean time, we are to struggle, on a daily basis, with what it means to be a, spiritual being having a human experience.

Well the raindrops became more frequent, and there was more of them than there was before. So, here I was at somewhere between 7,500 and 8,000 feet. There is wind, rain, thunder and lightning. To make matters worse, the rain was then hail, and it is freezing cold. I have not been in this kind of weather since I left Ireland. In Ireland, mother nature would never play a trick like this. Here I am in Summertime. A time like winter has entered, to darken the joyful light . It was, and never is, a lasting darkness. When the light does appear again, as it always does, what will be the truths that have become a part of this new reality. This new reality is: life as I live it today.

It would be too long of a blog, a sermon yes, to bring me down the mountain. So I will leave Joe at say, 7,700 feet. There is lightening, wind, freezing hail or rain, peeling thunder, numbing hands, heading for home, and lessons to be learned.

See you next week, as the wandering continues, or so, I sincerely hope.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Wandering Thoughts from a Cabin....

I have heard it said, "Every seven years we ask a new set of questions". I have found this to be so very true, in my own life and in the life of so many others. Look at what happens between the ages of 14 and 21. How the questions flow so quickly, and the answers appear so slowly. Henri Nowen encourages us, “to live the question, so we can live into the answer". For those who are in their 30’s, or have encountered that watershed year of 35, I do not have to tell you anything about life being turned upside down, and a great feeling of being lost takes over. Nothing has worked out the way you expected . All your plans have gone askew, you are not where you wanted to be. You are not in the place others expected you to be. You are not who you thought you would be at this time. The things of life are so up in the air, so uncertain. There seems to be no real order, only questions about the chaos. Even if the outside looks good, the insides are the very opposite. I now firmly believe, the better we show ourselves to be on the outside, the more messed up we are on the inside. What is worse, we will do everything in our power to defend , and protect the illusion. The illusion that is ours, our family, our parish, our church, our country, and our world. In each case, we pay a terrible price. Look at the cost, in human and monetary terms, the defense of sexual misconduct has wrecked on individuals, families, and church. There is that saying, which we have adopted from AA, " We are as sick, as our deepest secrets". How true that is. The opposite is honesty. Honesty is progressive. Thank The Good God for that. It is that fearsome gift, honesty, which will enable each one of us to journey from illusion, into who we are in the unconditioned love of our God. Yes, a fearsome journey, yet we can be assured that nothing will be revealed to us, that God and we, cannot take care of. Sometimes I have to remind our God , " you have more faith in me than I have in myself right now, so you may want to ease up, just a little". In some cases, I have to say, "a lot". That is an honest prayer, as it comes from the gut. Gut prayer always works. Why? We are being real, and Reality always responds to us in our deepest reality.

There is one person who, over the years, has enabled me to grow, very slowly I may add, into gut honesty, that person is Henri Nowen. So, at this stage, as I am dealing with a multiple of 7, it is time for me to reread again, “Reaching Out ". I first read this book in 2006. I have been reading it over the years. In the hard, difficult, and challenging times, it has been a daily read. Nowen writes, as nobody else does, about the sacrament of the human condition and all that entails. In all that is authentically human, God, The Divine Presence, is perfectly hidden and perfectly revealed. He is so honest about being a spiritual being enfleshed in the human condition. He is, for me, a prophet of hope. He is, for me, a great teacher. He has lead me, and continues to lead me, by the sharing of his faith journey, to embrace my faith journey, just as it is. A faith journey with it's valleys and mountaintops. A journey replete with times of hope and despair. A journey into great loneliness, and a deepening happiness. A faith journey with its times of great fear, leading to a deepening of faith. He has given me the permission, which I always sought, to be who I really am. Honesty, I have found, is the stepping stone leading to a freedom and a happiness beyond imagination.

In the foreword, he writes the following; "the quest for an authentic Christian spirituality is worth the effort and the pain, since in the midst of this quest we can find signs offering hope, courage, and confidence". Those signs are to be found in each and every life. These signs are there for you and I, to be found . WE are always being offered, what we need, not what we want. Sources of hope, courage, and confidence are our daily bread. This ‘daily bead’ is the GUARANTEE of a Loving, merciful and caring God. It is when we stop reacting to life, and begin to respond to what is our reality, we begin to see life as it really is. We all need that time, a time that must be claimed, which will enable us to slow down and allow our souls to catch up with us. In this place, a peace, a joy, a happiness is awaiting those with the courage to do so. Merton says, “it takes tremendous courage to be still”. It takes great force of will to say to oneself, and mean it, “I am a human being, NOT a human doer".

This Spiritual journey stuff is tough work. Thank God it is His doing and not ours. It is a life we fall deeper into, the more we fall down.!!!!!!